He won't be alone with me

[jackiebahama]

I finally started dating the man of my dreams. I've known him my entire life, and I am smitten by him! He has been my best friend for the past couple years, and we finally started dating a few months ago. One thing that I like about him is his kind nature to always include everybody. He is not quick to judge, and he is immensely patient and thoughtful. He and I both enjoy the outdoors, the ocean, family, etc. The list does not end! one issue that I have been having is that he is almost too responsible, at times. I want to sleep over and stay up with him, but he is taking things very slow. Maybe I'm being inconsiderate, but he won't even share a bed with me. In certain circumstances, I understand, but if it's just the two of us in an empty house, and we're in our mid-20's, I really would like to share a bed with my boyfriend. I feel like that's not so much to ask. I understand that he wants to take things slow on the physical side for religious reasions. This is absolutely okay with me, because he is worth the wait. I simply want to have more alone time with him.

 

I am going on a trip with my friends from college for a mini reunion. I invited my boyfriend with me, and we have both been so excited! We both even took off work, and are planning to drive home for the last two days, just the two of us, and to go camping throughout the way. I can easily say that this is the part of the trip I have been most-looking forward to. That is, until I got a phone call from him saying that he invited our friend to join us. Granted, I love this friend and I think it would be fun to bring him along. But I was so looking forward to some time with my boyfriend, but now our first time sharing a bed is going to be with our friend in the same tent. I'm more hurt by this than I'd like to admit. Am I being unreasonable by wanting the trip to be just for the two of us?

[annie24]

welcome to ENA.

 

I think he invited the friend to come and share the tent to prevent any temptation of something happening with the two of you. Have you two talked about the future or future relationship goals, etc..? i.e., when would you start being intimate?

 

PS - I might want to add... i would be upset that he brought someone else without talking to you about it first. He should have at least asked if it was ok for this other guy to share a tent with you two before inviting him.

[Clinton]

Are you sure hes not in the closet?

[jackiebahama]

Annie24, you may be on the right track. I have a feeling that when he invited his friend, he wasn't even thinking about our alone time, but the convenience of the fact our friend needed a ride anyways.

 

Clinton, I do appreciate the input. But as for being in the closet, he's not. He gets too "turned on" to be in the closet. I have to admit, however, this is taking a major toll on my self confidence. I've found myself to start feeling insecure.

[Helpexpressme]

Sorry, but intimacy is huge part of being in a relationship. If he dosn't want to get intimate with you, I think your wasting your time.

 

Maybe he's religious, but are you? It sounds like you want to rip his clothes off to me.

[saluk]

From the religious perspective, he is going to avoid those intimate situations because they might lead to something else that he is not ready for yet. Avoiding those is not a sign that he is not attracted to you or doesn't want to be with you - it's a sign that he is, and does. But for you and what you want, you need to be frank with each other and clarify what the future looks like and determine if that actually works for both parties.

 

What is his time-frame? What time-frame is acceptable to you?

 

If you feel he's worth the wait... know that waiting to share a bed privately and waiting to have sex may in fact mean the same thing for him.

[missmarple]

Religious reasons meaning? He'll only have sex with his wife?