How to ask him to move out..

[asimplegrl4484]

Long story short..I was dating this guy for a few months off and on..decided to let him move in with me. Now that he is here, I'm not sure that I want a relationship with him. I think it was better when it was no strings attached and just sex. But how do I tell him I don't want him to live with me anymore and I no longer want to date him? I feel awful because he says he has no where else to go..help please!

[greta96]

It's not your duty to provide him (or anyone) with a place to live. Each and every one of us is responsible for making sure we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, etc. He's a grownup, he'll survive.

You just tell him the relationship is no longer working for you, and that you want to break up.

[j.man]

If you're in the US, you might wanna read up on the law for that state regarding residents. If he's good about it, he'll leave because you asked him to. However, most states consider people who have lived in the space for 30 days legal residents subject to an eviction process regardless of whether they're on the lease or if a lease permits them as an occupant. Generally, you have 30 days from the time of notice before you can be forcibly removed from the premises. Some states allow upwards of 60 days. If he digs in his heels, be prepared to present him a formal eviction notice or contact your landlord to present him (and maybe you if he's unauthorized) one.

 

A LOT of people learn the hard way that it's not nearly as easy to kick someone out as it is to invite them in.

 

My advice is to be as nice as possible in asking him to leave. Absent a restraining order or him having no idea about any of this, you may find yourself SOL for awhile.

[Dottieflanogon]

I think there is no way for him not to infer an imminent break up. So I would just tell him the reasons why you want him to move out. I doubt that he will take it well unless he also wants out of the relationship.

[asimplegrl4484]

Thank you! I just don't want to be a about it. But I've been down this road in a previous relationship and would like to end this before it even gets to that point again where I feel an obligation to help him.

[Willywagtail]

The thing to note here, is that this has happened to you before. Twice is a pattern.

 

You've allowed someone you hardly know to move in with you, to share your space, your bed and your life. Now it's gone pear shaped - again.

 

Learn the lesson OP!

[asimplegrl4484]

I've known him for 2 years now, but I guess you never really know someone until you are with them all the time. I didn't realize all the similarities he had with my ex until I was faced with them..hence why I don't want to continue down the road. I know when to cut my loses.

[HeartGoesOn]

I think j.man has a good point. Tell him it's not working and he has to leave, before you're in over your head. Also, be more vigilant with who you allow in your home, especially in this day and age...