Bluwy Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 I have been friend with this guy guy for about 2 years now. He is really nice too me, maybe too nice. Every time I see him he rapidly comes to me and talks to me. When we are hanging out with groups of friends he usually isolate me from the rest of the group and only talks too me. He makes jokes were he is usually really close to me or that involves touching me. It really makes me uncomfortable but he doesn't seem to notice. During the vacation he was home alone and really wanted me to come to his place or him coming to my place. I went one time but it was boring as we only played video games. He sent me messages every hours and long messages about how he felt alone, and it only made me feel better. He bought me a game for no reason and i suspect it was to make me guilty so I would come to his house. Plus he bought me expensive headphones for no reason. I wanted to decline but he said it was for my birthday. He said it was only the beginning of the presents a Christmas was coming. I play video-games often and every game I have, he bought it. So if I launch a game I am certain I will receive a messages from him. Every time I log on to my computer I receive a message from him, EVERY TIME, saying " how is your day going. I hope you slept well... and do you want to play with me". He repetitively sends me message throughout the day asking me to play with him or ask exactly what I'm doing. Every time I see him he asks me if I will be able to hang out. I am gradually starting to disliking him more and more. I wouldn't be as alarmed if he was this nice to everyone but no he is only acting like this to me. Is this a normal behavior? What should I do?
mhowe Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 First of all, stop accepting gifts from him. In fact, return what he has bought you, including the ear phones.
Moontiger Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 This guy is a giant walking red flag. You need to set clear boundaries here. First when he touches you, you say "don't do that. It's makes me uncomfortable." If he does it again you say "I told you I don't like that. Stop." And walk away. If he try's to isolate you, you walk back to the group. Do not hang out with him alone, do not accept gifts from him. If he continues you need to stop hanging out completely, even in a group setting.
dave_1966 Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 Tell him he's making you feel really uncomfortable, and to lay off a bit. Return any presents and say that they're totally innapropriate because that's what people in relationships do. It really is as simple as that. If he's a decent guy he'll take that on board.
Zartos Posted November 7, 2015 Posted November 7, 2015 I've acted in a way similar to this with a girl before... It sounds like he is lonely, you are his favorite person in the world and he would love nothing more than to be closer to you. I don't know what either of your relationship status is, but if you don't want that, you need to be exceptionally blunt and firm with him about what is and is not acceptable. Guys can be unbelievably dumb when it comes to girls they like. Don't be cute about telling him no, or tell him no and then go with something anyway. Don't accept gifts from him. Don't use ambiguous phrases like "maybe later" because in his head it will mean "OH MY GOD IT COULD TOTALLY HAPPEN AND IT WILL MAKE MY DAY WHEN IT DOES Realize that in his head, he is trying to do right by you. He is trying to be nice and give you presents, wants to let you talk about how your day was, and wants to spend time with you. If he is crossing boundaries that you don't want him to cross, it will be nearly impossible for him to tell because all of his thoughts and actions are a result of how much he likes you. The sooner and more clear you are about where your boundaries are, the better it will be for both of you. Don't let him think and act like you are his unofficial girlfriend for a year(s?). Don't use him for the attention and affection if you don't feel the same way. If you like him as a person, it is an incredibly cruel thing to do. If you don't like him, then stay away and don't mess with his head.
Bluwy Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 Thanks for all the replies. I will return the gifts to him and see if anything changes. It may seem bizarre but I am in fact a strait male, and he is too (supposedly). I'll update you on anything new.
Capricorn3 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 If this guy is making you feel uncomfortable, you need to let him know, because as long as you keep accepting his gifts, you are more or less telling him that you are okay with him touching you etc etc. Also, if you are straight, you need to let him know that you don't swing that way and are NOT interested. How old are you guys?
dave_1966 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Thanks for all the replies. I will return the gifts to him and see if anything changes. It may seem bizarre but I am in fact a strait male, and he is too (supposedly). I'll update you on anything new. So, you're a straight guy, and you start accepting gifts off another fella? You're stringing us along, yeah?
Bluwy Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 So here is the thing, we have been friend for a long time so at first I wasn't alarmed. It is not like i was accepting these present from a random guy, he is one of my close friend, my b-day was just around the corner and i though it was normal. But he suddenly said "o here is a gift because I felt guilty of not getting you one last year, and dropped it off at my house", i was kind of weirded out but I didn't know what to say. Just received a message on what I wanted for X-mas, I told him i didn't want anything bla bla he insisted I said no. I think he is slightly annoyed and tried to justify himself for the present.
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