Blindsided. Seeking Advice Desperately.

[Ms Darcy]

I think your relationship is troubled because you have ups and downs and not because he still had thoughts about his ex.

 

You are picking a fight that is only going to worsen the wound and not better it.

 

I still don't understand how any of this is supposed to better the relationship. Unless you want to end this relationship, I'd take a serious step back and move on from focusing on his feelings, motivations, and every word as if you aren't confident enough in your own needs.

[SoulTaker]

Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply. It truly has helped me see different sides of things. Essentially, his comment of "Now that she's pregnant, it made me certain I am entirely over her and completely invested/committed to you" could mean 1 of 2 things.

 

1. He thought he was over her, and if he didn't care that she was pregnant, he truly doesn't care about her either way because if anything was going to bother him, hearing she was pregnant would probably be it.

OR

2. Any thoughts of him getting back together with her were shut out once he found out she was pregnant.

 

I asked about her and he point blank said he has zero romantic feelings for her. I thought this to be weird has their breakup was very abrupt and for them being together so long, it seemed rather strange.

 

I've never saw a reason to bring up an "ex" in any of my relationships. It's not as much as what he said, as with "why" he had to say it. Why did he have to bring it up, knowing that you've grilled him in the past about her. It's just plain stupid, or him not being truthful with you.

 

"Who initiated the breakup", is always a crucial factor when dealing with someone's "ex". That is the area that you might want to focus on in trying to get a realistic picture as to what's going on with him. But, this item only means something if you feel that it played a part in the "ups and downs" with your present relationship.