manyo2010 Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I'm an 18 year old college freshman who lost around 45 pounds before coming to college. I'm very proud of how much weight that I have lost however I have never been very lucky with the ladies and even after coming to college i haven't been getting girls at all. I've been to so many parties and girls just don't bat an eye. I always get rejected for coffee dates. I try to approach girls but I get the dirty look and back off. I'd say that after losing all that weight, I've become a good looking person, like at least 7/10. I was 200 pounds before. I'm a very nice and caring person, everyone tells me that. I understand why I didn't have much luck with girls before, but even now I still can't get girls. I see couples all the time, and people kissing at parties and it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. What should I do ? I've tried all the generic, meet people, join clubs stuff but it doesn't work out. Asking girls for their number doesn't go very far because after I get the number the convo doesn't go very far. Am I thinking too much? Will a nice girl just make her way into my life? I don't wanna spend these days in college without a nice girlfriend, everyone else gets girls in no time, while I'm here just staring at them making out all the time. I don't wanna remain a kissless virgin. What should I do to help my cause?
Unreasonable Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 155 lbs? How tall are you? I'd be a freakin stick if I weighed that much.
DoF Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 chances are high you are simply trying too hard and it makes you seem desperate and extremely unattractive. So what I would recommend is just forgetting about girls for few months. Just focus on yourself, focus on EDUCATION (after all that's why you are in college right?). Parties are the LAST place where you want to find a girlfriend anyways. People go to parties to drink/do drugs and "hook up", not to look for girlfriends. Find a girl that is good in school and doesn't go to parties.....in time, not now. For now just back off, relax and simply put yourself into "I don't need a girlfriend" camp. You don't have to make it known either. Most people fine their special someone when they are not looking...... And stop saying "I tried everything and it doesn't work", that's negative. Be positive and optimistic. You simply haven't tried hard enough if you got 0 results. Also, could it be that you are aiming too high? Way outside of your league perhaps?
Silverbirch Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 congratulations on your weight loss - I hope you have not lost too much. I think you will meet a girl who you will become involved with. Do you have any close male friends who you could ask if they think you are doing anything which stops you from getting dates. I don't think there likely is - just that you haven't met girlfriend material yet.
Doc Blaze Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Are you asking girls for their number at parties or like multiple different environments ?
Movingforward3 Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Perhaps you are asking the wrong girls. How about this? Instead of trying so hard for a date, why not just have 10 conversations with the next 10 girls that you see and your only intent is to make the conversation last. You need practice to gain confidence. Don't have expectations. Be casual and fun and let things happen!
DoF Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Perhaps you are asking the wrong girls. How about this? Instead of trying so hard for a date, why not just has 10 conversations with the next 10 girls that you see and your only intent is to make the conversation last. You need practice to gain confidence. Don't have expectations. Be casual and fun and let things happen! Great advice. Chances are also high that your confidence is an ultimate turn off....
Gloworm Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Good news is your only 18 and just starting out. I didnt have my first kiss till I was 19. Try for nice girls outside of parties. Dress nicely, shave, SMILE.
smithpeter Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Good news is your only 18 and just starting out. I didnt have my first kiss till I was 19. Try for nice girls outside of parties. Dress nicely, shave, SMILE. +1000000000000
sleepingdonut Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 Yep, you have to smile and approach confidently. If you walking up to her with the belief in your head that you're not good enough, it'll show through and she'll react accordingly. I recommend listening to Day9, the world's foremost Starcraft Expert, who also happens to be a great story teller and has sageful advice on dating: [video=youtube;EGOgP1BqHg8] ] More Day9:
fireryiceprine Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I'm an 18 year old college freshman who lost around 45 pounds before coming to college. I'm very proud of how much weight that I have lost however I have never been very lucky with the ladies and even after coming to college i haven't been getting girls at all. I've been to so many parties and girls just don't bat an eye. I always get rejected for coffee dates. I try to approach girls but I get the dirty look and back off. I'd say that after losing all that weight, I've become a good looking person, like at least 7/10. I was 200 pounds before. I'm a very nice and caring person, everyone tells me that. I understand why I didn't have much luck with girls before, but even now I still can't get girls. I see couples all the time, and people kissing at parties and it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. What should I do ? I've tried all the generic, meet people, join clubs stuff but it doesn't work out. Asking girls for their number doesn't go very far because after I get the number the convo doesn't go very far. Am I thinking too much? Will a nice girl just make her way into my life? I don't wanna spend these days in college without a nice girlfriend, everyone else gets girls in no time, while I'm here just staring at them making out all the time. I don't wanna remain a kissless virgin. What should I do to help my cause? There probly is nothing wrong with you except that you are very young. The good news is, that this problem will cure itself with time. I am currently in college too, but I have the opposite problem. I'm a Mom and a bit older. My problem is that younger guys are attracted to me because I am simply nice to them. I see that the young girls act a little uppity to mask how shy and insecure they are. I have heard your same story from young guys at my college, that the younger college girls don't seem to like them either. What I hear from the girls though is that they prefer the older college guys in their 20's. I know a 17 year old girl dating a 22 year old guy. Most of the young guys I encounter are rather shy. Because I'm a bit older, I'm not afraid of approaching people or saying hi. I am not actively trying to attract anyone, but I have concluded that I must be providing the only female attention some of these young guys are getting at the college and that's why they are attracted to me. I am going to assume you may be a bit shy. To overcome this, I would suggest joining a college club that includes females. If you can become an officer and speak in front of a group, girls will naturally be drawn to you because you will appear to be a leader. Also clubs are a great way to continuously meet with the same people. Over time you will become familiar to the girls and they may become more comfortable hanging out with you.
Pixels Posted November 4, 2015 Posted November 4, 2015 I can relate to the weightloss deal... Word to the wise... If you start gaining weight, start reassessing the expectations with school that you're putting on yourself... Weight gain in college is pretty common... Hell, I gained 45lbs from it, so don't throw that progress away... I can also say that your physical appearance isn't as much of a crucial point as you probably thought... Truth is it's you, not your appearance... Not necessarily who you are, but the fact that you're 18... 18 year olds kinda suck... Not just you, but the girls too... And all the other guys... The take-home message though is that as you and your peers get older, your boundaries of social comfort will widen. Depending on your school, class sizes will probably decrease dramatically once you hit your third year, and you'll have a better chance to interact with people who are serious about a subject you're interested, and you'll have more of an opportunity to genuinely express yourself while working together... If all you have to say about yourself is that you lost a lot of weight though, then good luck to you... As others said... Try to join clubs, etc... Maybe learn an instrument or two? Just do stuff that says you're a living person so 4 years from now you aren't just some guy moping around cause you wasted your college years desperately trying to get a girlfriend with nothing to show for it but a degree. IMO your dating life at 18 means about as much as your d*** size at birth...
Dottieflanogon Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 It's definitely not all about looks, try to work on your self esteem, don't come across as desperate, work on your body and the way you dress and if you really don't like your face try to compensate with hair style. There is a match for everybody out there, you're only 18,Your time will come
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