EX tug of war

[undeffined]

hi all, i want to explain the story between myself and my ex how we broke up, whats transpired in this time and where we are now.

 

Ok this all started around the middle of September my ex goes to a university an hour away from our home town but i still stay in our home town but she ives where her school is. Me and my ex (then girlfriend) broke up due to petty fights and issues over trust. Within 3 days of our break up she meets someone else and he took her on dates and made her feel special again and withing 5 days of meeting each other they were dating. Needless to say it broke my heart and was very difficult but since then strange things have been said and done by her and has confused me and thrown me for a loop. two weeks after she and the new guy started to date she came to town to visit we had been on NC for this time but when she got here she called me and asked what i was doing i told he nothing and we ended up meeting up. I ended up staying the night we made out and ended up having sex. The next day she left for school again and what happened that night has not been spoken of even to this day. She claimed she told her boyfriend about it but i highly doubt that. But since then she will bounce between telling me how much she likes him and what he does in comparison to what i did and didnt through our relationship. But then she would tell me something she does not like and then tell me something she likes about me that she prefers over him. This has been going on since they started dating. I hear from her every single day she will either call me or text me. one week she sent me pictures of us back when we dated. And she will call me "baby" or some other pet name over text or the phone and then say it was an accident. Also just two days ago she called me and we talked for a bit and before she hung up she said "i love you". She calls me her best friend and says she wants to keep me in her life forever but also says how hard it will be on her if i found another girl of my own. She expressed how hurt and jealous she would be if that happened but i don't understand because she has a boyfriend?! Her boyfriend is set to graduate this year though and when he does hes relocating to another state far from where we live so that may have something to do with how she is acting. Im just lost i did make the mistake in telling her how much i did want her back and i still do but she claims to be happy with him but also says she feels she can be happier with me? but shes scared of going back to us because of how it was through the relationship, but she felt this situation opened our eyes and matured us where we needed to be when we where together but unfortunately she met someone else in the interim.

 

 

I just get the hot cold treatment i never text or call her first but do reply or answer if she does. Some days she will tell me things she likes or misses about me and how she wants to show me certain things or do things for me like cook when she sees me again. But other times shes cold and says i need to accept our break up. But every since "that night" we have never spoken of or acknowledged ive heard from her every single day she takes concern in how im doing my health who im with ect. But she is still with this guy. I was thinking if hes so great and i wasnt why keep around your ex? Ive asked her that too but she says i am her bestfriend but he isnt? And that she wants me around.

 

I dont understand im trying to figure out her motives or desires but she is unclear with that. Has anyone gone through something similar? If so how did it turn out, or know any advice how to deal with her and this situation?! I really do love her still and would love to be with her again and she loves me she says, and says if things happened differently she would be with me as well? Any advice or help would be appreciated in what to do.

 

 

Thanks!

[saluk]

Tell her you found someone, haha. Make up some details you can say, make it a really good, believable story. She will hear that and come running ba....

 

Wait, no, that's a terrible idea.

 

"The only winning move is not to play". Put down the rope and stop tugging. Tell her you don't want to talk to her unless she is A) single, and B) interested in heading toward a reconciliation. It really is the only winning move here. Do you really want a girl who sleeps around on her supposed BF. A girl who doesn't even take time to mourn a break up before moving on to a random new guy she JUST MET. A girl who tells you she loves you while sleeping with someone else? Please.

[MovieGuy18]

hi all, i want to explain the story between myself and my ex how we broke up, whats transpired in this time and where we are now.

 

Ok this all started around the middle of September my ex goes to a university an hour away from our home town but i still stay in our home town but she ives where her school is. Me and my ex (then girlfriend) broke up due to petty fights and issues over trust. Within 3 days of our break up she meets someone else and he took her on dates and made her feel special again and withing 5 days of meeting each other they were dating. Needless to say it broke my heart and was very difficult but since then strange things have been said and done by her and has confused me and thrown me for a loop. two weeks after she and the new guy started to date she came to town to visit we had been on NC for this time but when she got here she called me and asked what i was doing i told he nothing and we ended up meeting up. I ended up staying the night we made out and ended up having sex. The next day she left for school again and what happened that night has not been spoken of even to this day. She claimed she told her boyfriend about it but i highly doubt that. But since then she will bounce between telling me how much she likes him and what he does in comparison to what i did and didnt through our relationship. But then she would tell me something she does not like and then tell me something she likes about me that she prefers over him. This has been going on since they started dating. I hear from her every single day she will either call me or text me. one week she sent me pictures of us back when we dated. And she will call me "baby" or some other pet name over text or the phone and then say it was an accident. Also just two days ago she called me and we talked for a bit and before she hung up she said "i love you". She calls me her best friend and says she wants to keep me in her life forever but also says how hard it will be on her if i found another girl of my own. She expressed how hurt and jealous she would be if that happened but i don't understand because she has a boyfriend?! Her boyfriend is set to graduate this year though and when he does hes relocating to another state far from where we live so that may have something to do with how she is acting. Im just lost i did make the mistake in telling her how much i did want her back and i still do but she claims to be happy with him but also says she feels she can be happier with me? but shes scared of going back to us because of how it was through the relationship, but she felt this situation opened our eyes and matured us where we needed to be when we where together but unfortunately she met someone else in the interim.

 

 

I just get the hot cold treatment i never text or call her first but do reply or answer if she does. Some days she will tell me things she likes or misses about me and how she wants to show me certain things or do things for me like cook when she sees me again. But other times shes cold and says i need to accept our break up. But every since "that night" we have never spoken of or acknowledged ive heard from her every single day she takes concern in how im doing my health who im with ect. But she is still with this guy. I was thinking if hes so great and i wasnt why keep around your ex? Ive asked her that too but she says i am her bestfriend but he isnt? And that she wants me around.

 

I dont understand im trying to figure out her motives or desires but she is unclear with that. Has anyone gone through something similar? If so how did it turn out, or know any advice how to deal with her and this situation?! I really do love her still and would love to be with her again and she loves me she says, and says if things happened differently she would be with me as well? Any advice or help would be appreciated in what to do.

 

 

Thanks!

 

This reminds me a lot of my situation, except that she started dating someone after 3 weeks, and her and I live in the same town. We broke up at the end of August and she is giving me mixed signals where I can't tell if she is truly dating this guy or not. She is more than willing to make plans with me, considering she has school every day and a lot of homework, she has said a few times that she misses/missed me, sometimes talks and says things that she did when we were together and is always excited and happy to talk to me.

 

She knows I don't want to be friends however, so her acting this way seems very contradictory to the fact that she broke up with me. If she were happy with this other guy, then shouldn't she want to spend more time with him than me? It's all very confusing man, it's hard to give advice for something like this when I am still going through it myself, but I would say be civil, but don't be at her beck and call. Don't answer her all of the time, or just wait a few hours before responding. Keep conversations short but don't act like a either.

 

 

You can read my thread called, "Spent time with my ex girlfriend" for more information and guidance from other posters. Perhaps you might find something useful in there.

[Willywagtail]

She's keeping you on the side, waiting in case it doesn't work out with university boy. She's cheating on him sexually and emotionally and she's playing mind games with you.

 

What do you want to do? So far you've enabled her cheating behaviour and pandered to her emotional needs. Do you really want to listen to what's good about him and bad about you?? Sheesh. You deserve much better than this mind game she's playing. You need to set a boundary and stick to it rather than being at her neck and call.

 

By all means let it play out and hang around under the assumption she'll come back to you. But hey, she knows now that she can cheat and get away with it, so who's to say she won't do it again?

 

If you want to retain some self respect, and your mental health, though you would be well advised to dump her cheating butt. Man up and tell her you don't want to be her side boy any more. Tell her that you don't want to have contact with her and block her calls and on all social media. Be brave, it will hurt. But you will respect yourself so much more.