Ex is hanging out with my friend!How to deal with jealousy and the breakup?

[heartgurl]

-Sorry for my grammar-

So I am a 16 y/o girl (about to turn 17) and i am heartbroken. I need help to deal with a situation. So my ex boyfriend broke up with me last month ( after our 1 year anniversary) and told me he liked me and my (ex) friend 50/50 after he broke up with me. also told me many reasons why he broke up with me like, he wanted to be friends, school, that i hanged out out wit too much (which i do admit i did but that was bc i hardly got to hangout with him bc of his job and school), and he told me i was the reason he was losing all his friends..this made me very depressed. He said after couple days that he didn`t mean it and over reacted..but i think he wasn`t. I don`t know how to deal with this ( since he is my first bf) and i did a stupid thing and hung out with him because i got very jealous when my (ex) friend starting hanging out with him ( even before she would hang out with him and last year she always sat with us at lunch when she had lunch and she said she was uncomfortable and ignored (that`s what he told me) , I told her she didn`t have to sit with us, but she did. )(also read my previous post..he did something behind my back while we were dating with her).A couple days,After and before the breakup...He would get very pissy when he said that i came between them and I should consider her feeling (bc she was dealing with family issues), which i did but i mean i (think) I was being selfish and I said then what is worst a broken heart by a boy or a family. ( i really don`t know what is worse.)I said to him do you like her and he said he didn`t...but i didn`t believe him. He also called me selfish and would argue with me when i texted him (again my mistake with contacting him). Just recently i made the stupidest mistake of my my life and i tried hanging out with him again when we were doing this fun raiser school..i do admit i only did it because i saw him hang out with my (ex) friend...while i was with him..i asked if everything was fine and he said yes...(i knew he wasn`t and i was on the verge of crying bc i thinkhe hated me and lied to me (which he always lies))After the fun raiser he texted me saying he didn`t except my apologizes( i said sorry to him like 10+ times) he never wants to hangout with me again, that I am on my own, to love someone else and never talk to him ever again and that was inconsiderable and rude because i came between him and the girl. This made me sad and made me want to cry....i texted his mom the day after and she told me he wasn`t into me anymore from the way she was looking at it.I was about to burst into tears but i couldn`t... Just today he came in for lunch ( he hardly doesn`t bc he leaves early since he has to work sometimes and he has half day (he is a senior)) and he sat with my (ex) friend and i was on the verge of crying ( i ran to the bathroom and wanted to cry) and i hated it...Everytime i turned around he was depressed and she was there to comfort him and make him laugh, and it pissed me off...I just don`t know how to deal with this! Can someone please help me? I am I selfish..what am? I STILL LOVE HIM....

[krose95]

Wait a year or two and then re-read this post. Not one thing in it will matter.

 

You will grow up and realize there is so much more to life then who sat with who at the lunch table in high school. I know it seems like the end of the world right now.

[meoww]

Wait a year or two and then re-read this post. Not one thing in it will matter.

 

You will grow up and realize there is so much more to life then who sat with who at the lunch table in high school. I know it seems like the end of the world right now.

 

I would actually say this a great opportunity for personal growth and figuring out your own way of dealing with rejection. It's really important because you don't want to get in the habit of dragging out break ups or being a doormat. Even if you have good coping skills, it's still tough every time but you give yourself an opportunity to grow and meet even better people the next time around. There's so much you can learn from your relationships, even as a teenager. You can learn about boundaries, being interdependent, how to show affection, how to support someone in their goals, I don't think any of that is a waste of time.

 

Now you're free to meet someone who wants to be with you and enjoys being around you! The only thing you can do right now is fight through it, it's just going to be hard for a while, just try not to get sucked in. Don't give into the temptation, you need to exercise some willpower.

 

Girl next time don't give your age because people aren't going to take you seriously.

[h0pelessl0ver]

The fact that this person is hanging out with your friend shows what kind of person they are! YOU don't need those type of people around you! They will only bring negative energy. Being happy is much greater than being around crappy people. Better to be alone and happy than be in bad company and miserable. Keep your head up, you have a lot to learn. At your age it may seem like it's rough but trust me you will get over it. In a year or 2 as the other members on here have stated, you will look back and laugh at this! You got this, I believe in you and I'm sure you believe in yourself!