How do I cope with the guilt

[MLG87]

I just ended my 8 year relationship. It was my decision and my boyfriend is completely broken. Nothing bad happened, nothing went wrong we just grew apart. I still love him, he's my best friend. I just know he's not the one for me. Trouble is he doesn't feel the same. And he thinks this is all his fault. He's always suffered from pretty bad depression and anxiety and he thinks if he was different I wouldn't have done this. I knew I'd feel guilty, but I completely underestimated how all consuming the guilt would be. I'm so scared he won't get it through it, he doesn't have great support and his anxiety has rocketed. I found myself sitting thinking it would be better if he'd died because he wouldn't have to feel the way he does. I know deep down this is the right decision, but it feels so unbearably painful I just keep thinking no matter how unhappy I was in our relationship, it never compared to feeling like this. I hate myself for causing him this pain when he doesn't deserve it, and I just don't know how to get through this...

[Liefde]

No one ever said life was easy, the facts is your relationship didn't work, I don't think you made this decision in the blink of a eye.

It had to happen, would it have a different result if you tried doing it a different way, I don't think so he would still be where and how he is feeling now.

It don't think you should beat yourself up too much for how he feels, it had to happen.

[Movingforward3]

Depression and anxiety are tough on a relationship. I know, as my ex girlfriend has them. You choose to walk and mine colored me black. I had some of the same thoughts as you did about leaving, as coping with those issues of depression wear on you. You can't be held in a relationship because you are afraid about what might happen, what he might do. I keep a line of communication open for that reason to mine, just in case.

You may want to explore therapy for yourself. This website helped me

No breakup comes without pain and loss. Some more than others. Focus on you and live your life. Exercise, eat healthy, and hang out with friends and family. It will get better! Also, helping other people makes a difference! You can volunteer and help others. I wish you solace.