My relationship

[mike2305]

When I was 30 I had a tragic relationship. I had been dating this girl for about 4 months, I loved her and yes she was my soulmate. My mum was going though a difficult time, my dad had just died and she needed me to be their, it was difficult and I had not thought it though. My girlfriend wanted more time with me, which was a valid point, as my mum would not like this I asked my girlfriend to go and talk to my mum. It ended in a big argument between my girlfriend and mum, and the relationship ended. After that she talked to me as a complete stranger. I went to talk to her, but got drunk on the way, so went out crying from her house. When I think now what I should have done was say to my mum I am sorry but my girlfriend comes first now, and gone to my girlfriend and told her I had booked a holiday for just the two of us. However its done its gone and it was heartbreaking, and for her as well. I often wonder where this girl is now.

[Starseed98]

Hindsight is always 20/20.

 

No sense in wondering what could have been or would have been.

 

It's time to let it go.

[sara-pezzini]

You're unhappy in your marriage which is why you get these thoughts but trust me someone you only know for 4 months is hardly a soul mate since you two only got to the first stage of infatuation.

I also think you should definitely have been there for your mom like you were and not go on a romantic holiday and i think she was selfish and not very caring and understanding if she didn't understand that you had to be there for your mom at that time.

So this is not the answer to your problem with your wife.

You just make something that's in the past a bigger deal than it actually was.

Grass is greener and all that but you didn't really know this other girl yet, maybe she wouldn't have wanted sex either after marriage or who knows what she would have been like but you build her up too much in your head

Maybe some marriage counseling? Or else get a divorce. Do not stay unhappy in a marriage, that doesn't benefit anyone

[Hollyj]

Agree with Sara.

 

I think it was very selfish to demand the majority of attention at such a difficult time. I have lost a sibling and a parent within the last fic=ve years, and if my boyfriend - especially one of only four months - made these types of demands. it would be done. Says a lot about the person. Your mother needed you.

 

It's also scary that you thought you should have put your girlfriend first. That doesn't say much about you and your loyalty to family.

 

Time to move on from fantasy land and deal with your current life.

[catfeeder]

Really? Some selfish girl who bullied your mother during her time of grief was a tragic loss?

 

And in retrospect, you believe that you should have said, "Gee, sorry about Dad, Mom, but too bad, so sad--I'm going off with my soulmate who can't see past her own self interest to have any compassion for you--but you'll get over it."

 

The only thing 'tragic' about this is that you're still glamorizing this girl, and you're miserable about that for all the wrong reasons.