keep Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 my ex broke up with me couple of weeks ago. we were in LDR, to cut a long story short. we met, connected really well. she had a bf back then so nothing happened between us. we were with a group of friends volunteering. she returned to london, a day later she got dumped. we kept texting, soon text led to calls and to video chats. hours and hours of conversations with every imaginable topic possible. connection bloomed to love. and a month later she came to visit me. lived togather, happy, made plans for future. even marriage in a joking tone. for two months before she had to start her masters. a month later she dumped me. her reasons were many and varied, it ran from one thing to another and sometime contradictory. she was going to a stressful phase then. feels guilty clinging to me after breakup, no future togather, maybe feelings for ex, no emotional bond etc but we really connected emotionally, no one talks hours and hours on different topics if they dont. thats what i think. i understood her reasons but at the same time it was confusing. she still replies my text and answers my calls. even calls if there are miss calls and we even video chatted after the breakup. this is after i told her to cut a guy off you need to stop replying their text or calls. i have sent her a letter, why things can be worked out. how much she means to me, sorry and thank you and wishing her well. it should reach in three weeks. at the moment doing n.c, taking the time to heal, it hurts but i am giving myself time giving her the space. learning new language, going gym. i plan on contacting her, to win her back. any advice would be welcome. do you think i stand a chance or was i just a rebound. how long do i wait before i contact her. three weeks? her b'day is in 4 weeks. i am not keeping my hopes high but i believe anything worth having is worth fighting for. i plan to take it slow when i contact her or if she contacts me. start from the beginning. without any of the pressures (my family was pressuring her into marrying) tell her jokes, make her laugh. i know iam in a world of hurt if it doesnt work out but i believe in trying once. any advice would be helpful
Movingforward3 Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Keep lines of communication open, take her actions at face value, and lube your life. Have fun and focus on you. She might come around. You will have to be patient. Don't bring up break up. Be upbeat and cheerful. Do not be desperate or beg.
keep Posted October 28, 2015 Author Posted October 28, 2015 Keep lines of communication open, take her actions at face value, and lube your life. Have fun and focus on you. She might come around. You will have to be patient. Don't bring up break up. Be upbeat and cheerful. Do not be desperate or beg. thats what i plan on doing. i defo will not talk about getting back togather. i just want to show her the me that she fell for without any of the earlier pressures or guilts. show her that their were positive feelings with me, she seems to only remember the negative ones. what would you advise on the waiting period. i dont want to be out of her mind. but at the same time i also want to give her the space.
SURPRISE Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 The one thing I have learned through my first major relationship is that at over one year dating when she pulled away from me, I should have never looked back. We want people in our lives that will be there through hard times, not turn away. 9 months after splitting up, I foolishly called on her birthday because I still loved her. She came over crying and wanted me back telling me she was sorry for everything and she loved and missed me. We dated for a little over 3 years more and got married. 3 years in to the marriage she decided that I was not what she wanted and we got divorced. It wasn't like we fought all the time, she just could not find someone that she felt was better then me at the time so in her mind, she thought she had settled. The point here is that often people walk away because they have doubts. If they can't find someone they like more then you, they might be back, but do you really want that? They will tell you they need time, or some other excuse, but truth of the matter is that they have doubts. When a person is right for you they won't risk losing you.
sargon Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Strange situation. You meet once when she's got a boyfriend, then you start a LDR after he breaks up with her, then she moves in with you and lives with you for two months and then she dumps you. From how things went down, there's no chance whatsoever that she wants back in. Yes you were a rebound.
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