Walk away or stay in contact

[lje1994]

I have never used something like this before but i guess this is probably a good way of seeking advise.

 

So heres my dilemma, roughly 2 months ago my now ex Girlfriend ended it with me after our 3 1/2 year relationship. We like every other couple were not perfect and had our arguments etc but always used to resolve them genuinely the same day or next. However, towards the last few months of our relationship these arguments began happening almost weekly over the stupidest things.

 

We agreed to go on a break for a month, which we did and got back together, everything seemed to be going well until 3 weeks in we had a massive argument. We sat down and talked through things and sorted it out, however, a week later she sat me down and had 'the talk'.

 

We were still texting a week after the break-up just general chit chat about collecting stuff and saying we missed each other etc and once I had my stuff etc and she had hers we stopped contact for a couple of weeks. I deleted her off social media, not out of spite but I would be analysing everything status and picture she put up so I guess I felt it was right for me to heal and come to terms with it.

 

2 weeks after no contact she passed her driving test after 3 years of trying and i knew how much that meant to her so I sent her a text congratulating her etc and again we started texting and it was all quite pleasant, we then got onto the conversation about moving out and she basically said that 'i bet we will end up moving out together' obviously this picked up my mood as I think she knows deep down i want her back.

 

anyway, I got her a card etc and just wrote her a letter thanking her for the relationship and to let her know that I still wanted to be friends. she picked this up a week later (no contact since the moving out business) and was thankful and just had a chat.

 

I started texting her again and she was very cold, totally different from the previous week, and has been since (3 weeks on) however, she owes me money etc which I haven't chased her for and said she would bring it round last Saturday, however, she couldn't get hold of the money but still came round just to have a catch up which we did.

 

we have been exchanging texts every couple of days but just general chit chat.

 

I guess what I'm looking advise on really is wether or not to carry on texting her and trying to be friends in the hope of getting her back, or whether its best just to cut ties as I know it will be hard to take when she starts seeing other people. Its all just left me confused as to how she can go from saying she thinks we would probably end up moving in together then go completely cold.

 

Sorry i have wrote a huge essay, I guess i just needed to get it off my chest.

[overthemoon86]

Texting her as "friends" with the intent of getting back together will not only not work, but will leave you disappointed and still in pain. You cannot manipulate someone into being with you again.

 

You need to stop talking to her immediately. You have broken up, there is no more relationship and you need to move on. Start the healing process, take care of yourself and do not contact her. You know that is the texts are not going anywhere anyways and to be honest you are helping her move on.

[Clinton]

Being "friends" with someone in order to get back with them sets you up for a world of pain. You have a front row seat as she moves on to date others.

 

And guess what, as a "friend " you have to be good with that.

 

Best to just do the honest thing. Tell her you can't be friends, go NC to heal, and move on.

[dreamyjane]

I know it´s really hard to hear this, but you can´t be friend with your ex. It will give you so much pain and false hope You need your time to heal.

Just tell her, what do you feel and how being friend with her isn´t enough and go NC.

[lje1994]

Thanks for the advise, I guess that's her way of letting me down gently. I will give this no contact a go. I have deleted her number etc so when I'm having a weak moment there's no way I can tempt myself to message her.