Person1001 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I left my ex due to feeling taken for granted and when I brought that up I was blamed for trying to mess up the relationship. At that point I understood that he was not afraid to lose me. With all feelings for him still in my heart I broke up w/him. He was very passive during the break up and after I contacted him about my stuff, he poured out his heart to me and promised me a whole bunch of things that I knew were BS. Over the next 2 weeks I tried to message him about my stuff and that ended in him blaming me for using him and breaking his heart. I decided to give up on my things and I haven't messaged him in weeks. One time he sent me a message saying that he missed me and wished that things could have been different. I deleted that message w/no response. Last week he messaged one word messages on FB and through text. I did the same thing and deleted the messages w/out a response. What is he getting at? Does he hope I come running back to him?
HeartGoesOn Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 If you broke up with him, why are you leaving a door open and not blocking him? Does he hope I come running back to him? No offense, but I have a hunch you're contemplating doing just that.
j.man Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 If you broke up with him, why are you leaving a door open and not blocking him? No offense, but I have a hunch you're contemplating doing just that.You KNOW how much I love to roleplay as Detective Stabler from Law and Order: SVU, yet here you are calling the OP out when I'm carefully trying to finesse a confession. It's like you don't even care.
overthemoon86 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 You broke up with him, why do you care if he is trying to contact you?? You should be moving on with your life. That is what a break up is.
Person1001 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 I know this may sound silly, but I guess I wished he would have valued me more. I gave myself to him, but he didn't even see me as worth any effort. Everyday is a struggle to get over him, my 1st love.
fwdthinker Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Hi Person, I just wanted to say I understand. Being the "dumper" is sometimes what we are forced to do. It doesn't always mean we wanted to, it doesn't mean it's not brutally painful for us, too. And in your case--you broke up with him for the same reason you wish you were hearing something more, something concrete, now. And he's still frustrating you. He still isn't stepping up as you had hoped. I know how that feels and I'm sorry. It sounds like you made the right choice though, as painful as that is. I do suggest you prevent him from messaging you if you can as you will heal faster. But I really do understand "why" you wanted to know. All along, you wanted to matter to him more than you thought you did. Whether you did or how much that was isn't really the point. The point is he did not make you feel that way. I know you deserve to feel cherished. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Person1001 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 And no I did not expect or hope that breaking up w/him would have him crawling back to me or having him value me more I knew that the relationship was over. I ended the relationship knowing he would no longer be in my life. I was definitely hurt how easily he let me go, when I was breaking up w/him, he said "well I can''t hold you".
SooSad33 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Things are toxic between you two right now.. both arguing,anger,hurt, etc. Back off and leave it all alone now. YOu broke it off. for reasons. Remember that. Don't let him try to lay blame on you. No contact
Person1001 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Exactly why I haven't responded to any of his messages, I actually don't remember his # nor do I have it saved anymore (phone, random piece of paper etc).
boltnrun Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 You've been posting about him every day. Focusing your thoughts on him and why he does or does not do this or that or speculating if he's feeling this or that does nothing to help you move on. Do you want to stay stuck, feeling exactly the way you do now, for the rest of your life?
ParisPaulette Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 He feeds you breadcrumbs, because he still hopes you will do all the work in the relationship. He sounds lazy as all get-out actually, and wants someone else to make all the effort. Or maybe that's just the best he can do it and it's simply not what you need. But what it isn't is a fulfilling relationship where you feel loved and valued regardless. Breakups are very hard and often the person more at fault will ironically fight the hardest to try and maintain a relationship. The bottom line is he got something from you even if it was a clean house and a hot meal that he didn't have to provide for himself. Someone to clean the house or just be there when he wanted it or something else entirely. And he misses THAT, but not you. Also I read your previous threads. He pretty much did the whole passive-aggressive, "I like it, what's your problem?" routine on you. He knew you were unhappy for some time, he shrugged it all off and wanted things to go on his way only and that's not fair to you. And yes, you will try and analyze things until the day you realize he does and did not think in the same way or terms you do at all about the relationship or life in general. Regardless, you are free of him and you have done the right thing even if it doesn't always feel like it. Breakups are tough, especially in the beginning,but in time you come to realize leaving the relationship that does not fulfill you and make you happy AFTER you've tried to fix things and gotten nowhere is actually the kindest thing you can do for both of you.
Person1001 Posted October 28, 2015 Author Posted October 28, 2015 He def liked that I took care of him and once mentioned how I was the only one taking care of him. Plus he always told me I'm the best gf he has ever had, but he didn't appreciate that at all (maybe he told all of his previous gfs that). I one time brought food to prep because he was sick, he almost completely ignored me save 20 min and had the guts to tell me "but I didn't ask you to make me soup". I ended up leaving and ignoring him for a whole day, to which he brought me dead flowers and candy bars, he said sorry, but nothing changed. I didn't expect anything monetary in return, but just a small bit of appreciation.
overthemoon86 Posted November 5, 2015 Posted November 5, 2015 You are free of the relationship. You need to move on and take care of yourself.
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.