Getting Back Together CAN Happen

[yammyr6]

I figured, I would make one final post before moving on with my life.

 

I wanted to write this for all of the guys on here that may have recently gone through a break up and feeling kinda crappy. I originally came to this site a few years ago after being dumped by an ex, and most recently after being dumped by another ex (she came back). Look I know it's tough, but I'm gonna be frank and completely honest with you all. If you really want a "CHANCE" of getting your ex back then you need to move on with your life. . . .You need to stop sulking and beating yourself up over the relationship and take this time to date other women and/ or do things that make YOU happy! Fellas you do NOT need closure on why the relationship ended, just know this, the lady that you were with lost interest in you and decided to move on. If she had enough romantic interest in you, trust me she wouldn't have left. Will she come back? Maybe. Should you wait for her? HELL NO! You have a life to live and it's much too short for you to dwell on someone that doesn't want you back.

 

In both cases of me being dumped, my exes have come back to me. The first ex I didn't really care to give her another chance, and the most recent I told her that we should take things slow. So far, so good. Keep in mind, that both of these cases are unique to me, and does not have anything to do with your chances. As such, I'm not going to give a long winded story of what led to the break up because it simply comes down to me losing her attraction. Fellas, if you lose your lady's attraction, then please save face, and walk away. Whatever your gut is telling you to do or say, don't do it, and just move on without looking back. Whether she comes back or not, at least leave with your dignity. Don't beg, plead, stalk, or do any of the crap that you see in movies. Just MOVE ON! By moving on it's a win-win for you. If she comes back, great! If not, well then at least you're meeting new people and finding your happiness again. What's that? You've heard this before? Well maybe because this is the ONLY way to go! Think about it, how many times have you heard the saying, "if you love something, then set it free. If it returns, then it's yours forever". It's an old saying for a reason. A woman wants a man that radiates inner confidence, and you can't get back to that confidence if you're constantly sulking over this one bad relationship.

 

When my ex reached out to me, she told me how much she missed me. When we met up, she told me that I seemed different. I had been working out everyday and had even started dating other women. I kept our met ups light and full of fun! No talks about the past or even future. She didn't feel pressured at ALL! We both have worked on ourselves and are going to give things another go.

 

Also, please don't respond to this post with your own story trying to find hope. It's time to move on. Next time you want to come to this forum to search for threads solely to find hope, why don't you instead go out and try that new hobby that you've always wanted to try, or go out with some buddies. Hell, I'll even share my personal email with you so we can just shoot the s*** (no relationship talk). If your ex reaches out to you, and you feel like YOU wanna give it another go, then I would set a date right away. No point in BSing whether shes just fishing or actually interested. If she agrees then keep everything light and fun with no talks about a past or future relationship. Just focus on having fun and creating NEW memories.

[jayceeanne]

I would love to discuss this with you! Im a girl but would love your input on things!

[overthemoon86]

Keep in mind, that both of these cases are unique to me, and does not have anything to do with your chances.

 

Probably the best take away. Relationships that break up rarely get back together.

[yammyr6]

I would love to discuss this with you! Im a girl but would love your input on things!

 

Sorry I wrote this from the perspective from a guy well because. . .I'm a guy But everything mentioned above holds true for ladies as well. To be honest, no one breaks up with someone that they still have romantic interest in, NO ONE. So it doesn't matter which side you are looking at this from, only one thing remains true. They decided to end it, and they decided to move on. With that said, what are you going to do about it? Harsh truth is there's nothing you can do. You can't force feelings. There's a chance they'll come back, but nothing is guaranteed. The only guarantee is you living your life and improving yourself. From today on, only do things throughout the day that brings you happiness. Whether it's binge watching your favorite show or hanging out with friends. Then at the end of the day, focus on those things that made you happy.

[Doc Blaze]

You sound like the guy Corey Wayne. Ive been watching his videos and reading his books and he gave the exact same advice. I know not all situations are the same but basically you guys were on the same page as advice.

[TMifune]

If your ex reaches out to you, and you feel like YOU wanna give it another go, then I would set a date right away. No point in BSing whether shes just fishing or actually interested. If she agrees then keep everything light and fun with no talks about a past or future relationship. Just focus on having fun and creating NEW memories.

 

I don't like the "keep it light" thing. If your ex betrayed you I don't see any reason to exchange pleasantries. She knows what she did and coming at you with anything less than an apology and genuine remorse shouldn't even warrant a response. Coming at you with light, playful, pleasantries should be met with contempt if responded to at all.

[yammyr6]

I don't like the "keep it light" thing. If your ex betrayed you I don't see any reason to exchange pleasantries. She knows what she did and coming at you with anything less than an apology and genuine remorse shouldn't even warrant a response. Coming at you with light, playful, pleasantries should be met with contempt if responded to at all.

 

which is exactly why I said, ". . you feel like YOU wanna give it another go". If not, then don't respond and move on. Seriously who cares if she apologizes or not. If she did you wrong, then there's your answer. That advise was for the people that want to get back with their ex. If you want to get back with your ex, then you definitely should not go into it with negative emotions. Besides, the time for apologies and discussion about the past relationship will come.

[yammyr6]

You sound like the guy Corey Wayne. Ive been watching his videos and reading his books and he gave the exact same advice. I know not all situations are the same but basically you guys were on the same page as advice.

 

I'll have to look into this Corey Wayne fellow. But I've gotten a lot of relationship advise from my dad over the years. His words, "A man must always be in his purpose. A man with no focus, no purpose will never be desirable by women". He also told me that we as men should always pay attention to our women. Truth be told, there's no such thing as a lady dumping you "out of the blue". Most the time we just don't pay attention.

[dreamyjane]

Can I ask you how long you haven´t been together?

[stickman]

While I agree most Women don't break up "out of the blue". (They have thought about it for weeks) I disagree that women won't break up with you if they still are romantically interested. From my understanding and experience, woman still can be very attracted and feel romantic interest and still break up due to many other factors. (Stress, moving, different goals, family, medical issues...etc.) While decisions to break up may be based on emotions...women can can find a man very attractive, still love the great sex and romance, but know there is no long term future. Once a mature women has worked it all out in her head...there is no going back. Younger women may not have the experience and might waver. But...hey...this is an old guys experience!