Bella89 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Hello everyone! I'm new with forums so please excuse my mistakes. I will try to make my story as short as possible, even though is pretty hard. I met my husband 7 years ago, soon afther I find out he is 3 years younger than me. But it was ok we were dating... 5 years ago An accident happen and I got pregnant exactly 1 month before going in Canada with a working contract. Afther talking with him, our families and the lawyer helping me to go in Canada we decided to go to Canada. 2 months afther caning in Canada he came with a visitor status, we got married and because I was pregnant, and afther that with a child he was able to stay in Canada. We had financial problems, fights all the time... Always thinking that I'm older and more mature ( I'm 26 at the moment) I was always giving in... Always forgiving and hoping for a better moment. One year ago he got a work permit and he started to work, I was happy, now it will be better I was thinking... But I was wrong, the financial problems continued, all he did was working and going fishing, I was(and stil doing) all the housework, taking care of our child everything!!! We were fighting more than before , he doesn't even ask for forgiveness anymore... I get very emotional when I'm angry so I say lots of things like o wand to separate, move out etc... But afther I calmed down I always got scared... How can I raise a child by myself with no family or support by myself, so again I would always forgive him... Last week I discovered that he goes out with girls... How is this possible? He doesn't care if I'm sick or if his son has a family activity at school but as soon as somebody from his work (man or woman) needs something he's off to go help. I'm not sure yet but I'm pretty sure he's having an affair... So I told him again to separate and he said ok. Now, what I need is some advice to help me stick to it! He thinks I will forgive him again, but I don't wand to do it!!! I feel like is time to move on to do something about this... I have no personal time, no friends all I do is work, take care of our son, our house hold, get angry, cry.... I had enough!!!!
mhowe Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Leave Canada and go back to your family. He is a child who doesn't want the responsibility that he signed up for...or rather, that was thrust upon him.
alli Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Doing the math, it looks like you were about 19 & he was about 16 when you got together. He was married & had a baby at 18. Sounds like he went straight from being under the care of his parents to being a married father. It's not an excuse. He should be pulling his weight on the childcare duties, especially as he is about 23 now. You wonder how you can do it by yourself but you already pretty much do don't you? I agree with mhowe. Go back to your family. If you really want to stay but finances are a problem, maybe see if you qualify for some sort of assistance program. Your son should be old enough for pre-kindergarten next year right? If that is a thing in Canada.
Bella89 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 I wand that to be my last choice, it took me 4 years to apply for permanent residency, and I will finally get it in max an year... I talked with my husband about separating and that I need financial support, and he said ok, but he doesn't take me seriously!!! He thinks I will back up again and forgive him. Witch is what I DON't wand!!!
mhowe Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 You can't make him grow up. Look into childcare options, social programs, etc. Separating from him has made it easier for him to be single and now you are losing more money.
Hollyj Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Sorry, but clearly he does not care about you or the child. He has shown you repeatedly who he is, yet you continue to take him back. As far as I can see, you have been raising your child alone. You are also not doing your child any favors by keeping him in this environment. End this nightmare. For good!
Bella89 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 Yes, he is young and that's why I always gave in, I really appreciated him for doing his best at such a young age, but still... I was young too. The sad thing is that I see how hard he works, and he buys everything for our son, but he doesn't understand that not all is about money!!! And lately he gets angry very fast...with our son too, witch is not good! My son is already in SK so and I work during the time he's in school and spend the rest of the time doing everything with my son. He said he will help me but like I said in before he doesn't take me seriously.
Bella89 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 It's true Alli, I do everything by myself. That's why I think that I will be able to do it without him, if only he will take me seriously and help me a bit financially, I only worry about my son, he adores his dad... He will be 5 in December, he's so young how can I explain him, that we will separate? Every time I was thinking about us separating I always forgave him in the end, because of my son and because of me being scared of being on my own.
mhowe Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Separating means you don't have a partner. He is still the child's father and should provide support financially. Single moms raise kids all the time.
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