adna Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 We have been married a little less than a year,we usually were intimate almost every day.So now i feel like my husband is less and less interested in me.Like recently he got home from a 2 days trip (work related),and he was tired and just fell asleep.Also it is usually me who brings up the question about sex.So what can i do about it? i wont bring it up since its pathetic in my eyes,is there an other way?
Astrogirl Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 It seems your husband works hard and travelling can be very tiring in itself. Could your husband have any underlying health issues such as thyroid disorders? A simple blood test will help to clear that up. Also, is there any extra strain on him at work? Why not set aside some time for when he's home to light some candles, share a bath, listen to soft music, order a meal and enjoy the evening; give the moment a build-up, if you like. Tell him you appreciate how hard he works but for the evening you'd like him to concentrate on your marriage. Don't stress, but both of you relax and enjoy each other's company. If it works, make a habit of it.
adna Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 It seems your husband works hard and travelling can be very tiring in itself. Could your husband have any underlying health issues such as thyroid disorders? A simple blood test will help to clear that up. Also, is there any extra strain on him at work? Why not set aside some time for when he's home to light some candles, share a bath, listen to soft music, order a meal and enjoy the evening; give the moment a build-up, if you like. Tell him you appreciate how hard he works but for the evening you'd like him to concentrate on your marriage. Don't stress, but both of you relax and enjoy each other's company. If it works, make a habit of it. I doubt its anything linked to health problems.Its usually him beeing lazy to take a shower since "he is tired already".My friends idea was to stop initiating and see how far it will go
Astrogirl Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Sometimes physical or mental health problems like thyroid and depression can give others the impression of not caring. I really think you need to speak to him calmly before stopping any effort.
Movingforward3 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I agree that work can be tiring and consuming. Give him a place to relax and feel supported. Depression and stress could be a factor. I know you have needs, but you do not seem very empathetic towards your man. How come?
dias Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 He is not a machine . Did you expect to have sex every day for the rest of your life?
adna Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 He is not a machine . Did you expect to have sex every day for the rest of your life? No but i did not expect him to get tired of sex this fast after just couple of months,and we are trying to get pregnant its not like I am in the mood always either
Jvc21 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I agree that work can be tiring and consuming. Give him a place to relax and feel supported. Depression and stress could be a factor. I know you have needs, but you do not seem very empathetic towards your man. How come? This. Stress from work can kill a persons libido very quickly. You need to make him feel relaxed and comfortable. Give him emotional support before you can get into more intimate support. If then he still doesn't respond, I think you may have a valid argument. But for now, it doesn't seem anything out of the norm. Love your man in all phases!
mhowe Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 No but i did not expect him to get tired of sex this fast after just couple of months,and we are trying to get pregnant its not like I am in the mood always either Trying to get pregnant....sex on demand or daily due to ovulation...is boring and turns sex into an exercise if not treated. Especially when you say things like " I'm not in the mood either". Yikes.
j.man Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Yeah so just because a dude doesn't want to have sex daily doesn't mean he's got a health problem. Personally, if you asked me 10 years ago, I'd never believe it if you told me I'd be cool with every other day or, given the circumstances, even every third day. Nowadays, if I've had a long day of work, if I just got back from traveling, or whatever else extenuating , I'm simply not gonna have sex and I'd be pretty miffed if my girlfriend made a big deal out of it. In my current relationship, my girlfriend definitely has the higher sex drive. She'd go twice a day if I had it in me. But I don't. Personally, I'm glad sex isn't some routine and I like the fact that when we have sex, we both know it's because we both want it, not because we're filling some arbitrary quota. I'd figure out how you can cope with it not being a daily thing because the more pressure you put on him or the bigger deal you make of it, the even less frequent it will get. And for the love of all things holy, do NOT try to light candles and "set the mood." I usually try to stray from the dichotomous gender generalization outlook, but men either want to have sex or they don't. The last thing I want is for my partner to go through some big effort in making dinner, lighting candles, and whatever else, raising expectations for sex when I simply don't wanna. It doesn't work the same for us.
overthemoon86 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 This is totally normal...men are not just sex machines. When my boyfriend and I first got together, we were having sex all the time...now we have moved in together and it happens less often because we both have full time schedules and don't have the energy a lot of the time. That doesn't mean there is something wrong or we love each other less or desire each other less. We are a product of our circumstances at times.
tattoobunnie Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 its pathetic in my eyes,is there an other way? How is telling him about your needs pathetic? If you can't talk about things, good or bad, things are gonna get a lot worse. Any other way? Well, unless you both are telepathic, then no...communication is king. I know sex brings feelings of validation, but you really have to consider the intimacy, or lack there of. Intimacy is honesty.
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