Nessjliz Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I have been married for 4 years, after 2 years of marriage my husband went to prision for a crime that happened before we met. I stood by him and supported him throughout. 2 nights ago I found out that before he went to prision he cheated on me and it resulted in a now 2 year old child. He lied to me for a few weeks when I questioned him over who this woman was and why she was visiting him. He is still in prision and will be for another 16months. I am so angry and hurt, he says the woman means nothing and he wants our marriage. Can you ever trust them again or do you just walk away. I am so confused about what to do. I still love him you just can't turn that off. I really need some advice and help. It's really hard to discuss things with him as he only has so many phone calls and I can only visit on a weekend for 2hours.
Hollyj Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Criminal and a cheat. Sounds like a prize. You know who this guy is. Enjoy supporting him and watching him chase other women when he gets out.
shellyf62 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I would start divorce proceedings straight away!
dias Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 And prisoner and cheater .You won the lottery. I am surprised that you even think about it.
dave_1966 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Divorce him, move address, get a restraining order. What the hell do women see in losers like this?
ParisPaulette Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Newsflash here, the love of a good woman is NOT going to turn this guy into a prince. Form an exit strategy quietly and get thee gone. Call this number for help: P.S. There's nothing to be confused about, you are simply trying to find reasons to stay and there aren't any. So confusion ended, okay?
mhowe Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Con. Liar. Cheater. Has a baby momma. Not a list of attributes for a husband. Divorce.
Countrymandude Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 You need to take care of yourself and only yourself, fall in love with yourself, marriage its about what each parner could do for each other help each other grow, you can not fix him he has to take care of his problems himself. Ask yourself Am i going to be able to deal with 18 yrs of drama the baby mama could cause?? Am i going to be able to trust him 100% when he goes to baby mamas to see his kid ? What is he bringing to your relatiinship besides troubles do i really want that for the next couple of years? Were you ready to be a stepmom? You are going to be by yourself for 16 mon take advantage of that enjoy yourself do thing that you really enjoy by yourself, meet new people and make new friends, be happy, dont let him manipulate you emotionally keep contact with him short, at the end of the 16 mon if you truly enjoyed yourself you might not want him anymore or you might decided to give him another chance but the key point is to get to a point that you only going to do things that will work for you and only you, you need to be selfish
metrogirl Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 In 16 months he will be released and forced to look for a job to pay for child support. You can't get around that. He has a child that he will need to help raise and I really hope you wouldn't stand in the way of that. How are you going to feel with him being around the child and possibly the woman he cheated with? If you tell me that he has zero interest in raising or supporting that child then you shouldn't be with him for that very reason alone.
catchthemtoday Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 There is a ton of negative responses here and although ALL valid points, you are not bringing some relevant issues that are unique to her situation. 1. She fell in love with him first before finding out about his past, which is just that his past. 2. If this guy is serious about being faithful and continuing a relationship with her then she by all means should at least give it a try. Just because he committed a crime does not make him a monster or a lying cheat for life. Although he had a relationship and a baby prior to her he should have been honest right from the get go, BUT it could be that his feelings for this new girlfriend were so strong that he felt she might walk out on him if he revealed his past to her. That is important to be honest but if he made that mistake it could be very hard for him to open up about it. I think giving it a try with a backup exit plan is a great strategy but that is just my two cents.
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