Will he ever come back?

[Makeshiftmagic]

Hi, I've specially created this account to post my story.

 

I've recently broken up with my ex of... (I don't even know how long we can be considered as dating, we went through a grey area before we were actually 'officially together'). If you talk about being official as a couple, that would be 4 months or so. But we dated for almost half a year and he took that amount of time to be 'ready' for me. Well, he is indeed a commitment phobe. A little bit about him: he's always been the kind that is extra friendly to the people around him, very good with words, has his way around girls as well. When he was with his ex, he made out with other girls in the club. So during the course of our relationship, that was one thing that would bug me. However, he did tell me when we were together that ever since he was with me, he no longer felt the need to 'find other girls in the club' and that I was 'the love of his life'.

 

In fact, I wanted to break up with him once and he told me not to go, to give him a chance to prove that 'he loves me'.

 

Okay sorry, enough of me nagging - the reason why I broke up with him was that when I asked him, he said he could not guarantee that he would be faithful to me. And obviously, my first reaction was: "What?! For real?! Then why am I in a relationship where I potentially could be hurt?! He's just giving himself an excuse to cheat on me in the future! Ridiculous, my own boyfriend can't even guarantee me that." Brownie points to him for being honest, but that hurt. Anyway, so I said that "we should remain as friends", but the next day I regretted, and I made him come down to meet me to talk about it. I cried like a , it was insane. I couldn't stop crying.

 

I ended up begging him to take me back, but for the first time I saw him being so adamant about not wanting me back. He kept saying that his parents 'weren't receptive to tattoos AT ALL,' (keep in mind I haven't even met his parents yet,) and that 'he's still young and he wants to explore'. He insists that we should be friends, and that he'll always still care for me even after we break up.

 

I texted him after I went home, sigh silly silly me. What did I text him? I texted him stuff like we should remember our good times, we went through so much together. But he told me that his feelings for me had faded, and that he couldn't stand the commitment, the boyfriend duties, and the constant texting.

 

And now, he's already hanging out with this new girl. (Sigh). The day after we broke up I asked him if he was talking to someone new, he said yes, but they're only friends and he cites my close guy friend and I as an example. He said that he didn't do anything sexual with her, 'it's only fair to you'. I haven't been texting him for a few days now, and on the day that I posted a photo of someone giving me flowers he texted me later that night saying that he hoped 'all is well for me.' I didn't reply. Then the next day he texted me happy birthday, I didn't reply either.

 

When we were together he usually hated it when I went clubbing, and I went last night and posted a snapchat of it. Then he took some snapchats of him hanging out with the girl and his friend (which he usually doesn't, he barely even snapchats faces of his friends at all.)

 

I still want him back, even though he's a commitment phobe. Sigh. Do you guys think he'll come back? Sorry to have burdened everyone with such a long story. It has been the worst week for me.

[mhowe]

He isn't afraid of commitment. He simply doesn't want to. So, sigh, no...he won't be back.

[SooSad33]

"the reason why I broke up with him was that when I asked him, he said he could not guarantee that he would be faithful to me"

- With this fact... why would you want him back??

 

And... he has given you numerous excuses to not be involved with you.

 

Sorry, dont think he'll be back and you shouldn't want someone like this back... was only 4 months.. and he's already moved on as it sounds.. sadly.

[caleb1689]

I do not know if he will be back or not but you can do one thing to tilt the odds in your favor: elevate yourself. Put yourself on a higher pedestal. Show him that without him, your life is just as good, perhaps even better without him.

 

If you begged him to take you back, he has sensed that you are weak. Now, if you display some resolve and self-worth, he might see you as someone strong and gravitate towards you.

 

In case he comes back - for the sake of your happiness I hope he does - there may or may not be a happy ending. I am only sharing with you what I think might, just might, bring him back. Whether it is the right thing for you have him back in your life or move on is a different discussion.

[NoMoreJerks]

the reason why I broke up with him was that when I asked him, he said he could not guarantee that he would be faithful to me. And obviously, my first reaction was: "What?! For real?! Then why am I in a relationship where I potentially could be hurt?! He's just giving himself an excuse to cheat on me in the future! Ridiculous, my own boyfriend can't even guarantee me that."

 

and

 

I ended up begging him to take me back, but for the first time I saw him being so adamant about not wanting me back.

 

Lead me to the following conclusion:

 

He probably said this so you would break up with him. So while you are the dumper, you really aren't. He was telling you that for him, you are basically no more than a f*ck buddy, and probably knew that you wouldn't be up for it. (or if you were, more cake for him!). But based on that second quote, he probably knew you would break up with him and wasn't expecting that you would beg for him back, so when you did, of course he was adamant about it, that was his plan in the first place, to get you to break up with him.

 

Consider this one done.

[dave_1966]

Up until begging for him to come back, you played it correctly. 'When he was with his ex, he made out with other girls in the club' is a huge red flag, why would you ever want someone like this? Guys like this are a penny a dozen, finding someone considerate to your needs and not narcisstic is the difficult bit, so start looking. And not in clubs, either, these are normally the hunting ground of a-holes like your ex.

[Astrogirl]

Concentrate on you. 'Flirt' with yourself. Believe in what you have to offer. Smile, be friendly, make friends, get new hobbies! Believe you are an attractive and good person to be around. Then you'll start to believe it. He sounds like my ex. Sadly, they'll never change. You had a lucky escape with 4 months. I had over 5 years of it. The wound only gets deeper and takes longer to heal.