Khalil Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 So, there may be some of you who have followed my posts about my most recent ex. For those of you who have not been in the know, I will give you a short run down. My ex of 11 months is a very toxic person who used and abused me, cheated on me and made herself the victim out of every scenario (even cheating on me) and she has been playing some serous head games with me. She told me last week that she was not looking to date anyone or be with anyone any time soon, but then tells me today that she has a date for tomorrow night...we havent even been broken up for a 2 weeks and shes already looking for someone else. She also told me today that I am her best friend...I want her back and it hurts to not have her, but this is enough hurt and I dont need to deal with it any more. I feel as though the best course of action is to end everything, I cannot be friends with someone who I am in love with, someone who at one point said she wanted to marry me, someone who abused me, and someone who betrayed my trust, let alone be best friends with this person. I dont know how I want to end things with her for good, if I want to be with her still and hope she changes should I be nice and gentle about it? Or do what my friends are telling me to do and give it to her in the harshest way possible? I was also thinking about giving her a bag with her clothes she left in my car and every love note she ever wrote me when I see her at school and then ignoring her when she tries to talk. What do you guys think?
Movingforward3 Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 I think you are living my life. It is hard to walk away from someone who you love. But, there are elements that are toxic. She almost sounds bipolar. I think you have to find a way to live your life and move forward. I am sorry for your pain. She isn't playing fair and the hurt/games may mean you need to go no contact for 30 days a least. I hope you can find some peace.
Waraqqa Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 If you want my two cents: go with your guts. Your guts tell you the truth: you understand that you cannot (and should not!) be with her; it would be very unreasonable to be friends with her, and certainly not best friends. So, don't! Then just leave! However, I would not follow your friends' advice on doing it in the harshest way possible - in the end, it might make YOU feel worse down the road. I tried doing that once, and felt really bad within myself, even though my ex deserved it. But don't be overly nice, either. Just be as calm and even as possible, say the least things possible. Make things clear if you need to (e.g. communicating your wishes), be Polite and Civil, but kind of removed. Because if you are either too soft and kind or angry and harsh, that shows that you are hung up on her still. And whatever you show, can actually grow within yourself. So, I would act very politely but reserved. Do what is right for you (leaving, moving on with your life) without unnecessary drama. Clarity but without excessive talking, certainly not yelling or anything. Calm, polite, but determined. That way you'll maintain most of your dignity also, and have better peace of mind.
Dottieflanogon Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 She's probably feels guilty or just wants companionship and trying to keep you as a backup while deciding what to do with her life Many people say there's no reason to even tell your ex that you're going NC.Now, you need to do NC for yourself. . You are in an emotional state over her. Stop talking to her. Do not let her have another minute of your time. Write her an email saying you need distance and not to contact you. Remaining on friendly terms with someone with whom you are still in love, doesn't work, because you are always looking for a way back in, thus, the 'friendship' is built on a false premise, what usually happens is that you get hurt, over and over again, because if you are just a 'friend' to her (as you would claim to be) she will think nothing of going on dates with other guys .So be clear and spell it out. And ignore any contact from her. If you honestly wish not to remain friends. You will be much happier in the long run.Good luck
SooSad33 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 " My ex of 11 months is a very toxic person who used and abused me, cheated on me and made herself the victim out of every scenario (even cheating on me) and she has been playing some serous head games with me." - And you want her back?? You need time AWAY from her and to move on with your Life. Then you can see just the kind of person she really is. Do nothing any further. Remove her from your life and stay away.
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I swear your ex and mine are sisters. She loved to play the victim, and I put up with her emotional abuse everyday. I had to delete everything and block her so I can move on for good. I think what we miss the most is the memories we made with that person, not the actual person
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.