Bridger1 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Ive posted on here a few times about my issues with a long distance relationship.. and how she had become distant. We still talk everyday, but it hasnt been the same for months.. But.. all the way to as recent as 5 pm yesterday she has been telling me she loves me.. im her one and only, how she wants to cuddle.. and on and on. At the same time.. being distant.. or her phone is always messing up.. shes busy, things like that. At 10:30 pm i find pictures online of her and another guy as a couple .. as recent as last week. I confront her.. she apologizes and says she has been looking for ways to tell me and not hurt me.. they have been together for months.. and she realizes she handled it wrong!!??? I told her she blatantly lied and hurt me on purpose.. all she could say was she was so sorry and i dont deserve that.. im destroyed... im so hurt, so alone... i cant do this anymore..
greta96 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 It was obvious to me from your previous post that this was what she was doing...I told you then that she was probably dating in real life, which you should be also doing, instead of wasting time with a cyber "relationship". It's human nature, real life will always, always trump cyber anything. People need to spend time together, touch each other, smell each other, hug, kiss...none of that was possible with what you two were doing. At most, you were cyber friends, but not even that, maybe cyber acquaintances. You learned this the hard way, and it sucks. But look at the bright side: now you know that cyber relationships are just fantasies that lead to nothing, and you are now free to step away from behind the screen and start living, start meeting girls in the flesh, and start enjoying life as it is meant to be. You'll be alone for as long as you'll keep hiding behind a screen...but once you get out there and live amongst the living, life will take a whole new meaning and you'll be able to actually enjoy yourself. Give it a try!
Theniceone Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I am sorry this happened to you and that you hurt, but now at least you know. When you did not reply to my last post I suspected that you may have realized something was indeed wrong which I guess prompted to dig futher on the internet? Did you find evidence on Facebook? Lesson learn. Someone that is really into you will not feed you a bunch of excuses to meet. It will be hard, but you will overcome this.
Bridger1 Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 yeah.. i found some stuff on Facebook... deep down my gut feeling i knew it... ive been cheated on before, so the signs were there. I honestly , truly thought she was not the type to do that.. i really didnt. When i saw the pic.. i was just destroyed.. im so lost right now
Bridger1 Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 She emailed me a few minutes ago.. " Your such a good person.. Im sorry i hurt you"
SooSad33 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Yes, you're a good person. So STOP all interactions with her. prove to yourself you have that inner strength and won't give in to her anymore. she's NOT worth it! Steer clear now. Total No contact. so YOU can work on healing from this experience. You deserve better & you know it. Aim for someone closer.. so it won't end up being long distance again. ( Once you're doing better).
Theniceone Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 im trying... i wish it was that easy Did you end your conversation last night with something other than a break up and how you cannot communicate be friends anymore?
Bridger1 Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 my last words were.. Im hurting, but i love you.. ill always love you until my last breath.. goodbye..
boltnrun Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 my last words were.. Im hurting, but i love you.. ill always love you until my last breath.. goodbye.. So you rewarded her lies and cheating by giving her your love? Instead of telling her to take a flying leap and blocking her from all means of contact? Sorry, that confuses me.
melancholy123 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 You will never move on until you delete this woman from your life in all possible ways. Start doing that and you will feel better.
browneyedgirl36 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 My response to her e-mail would be this: "Yes, in fact, I AM a good person. YOU, however, are NOT. Do not contact me, ever again, under any circumstances." Then, hit "send" and let the healing begin.
Bridger1 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 We have talked this weekend... Its like a nightmare.. She emailed me saying she is sorry she hurt me. But she doesn't want me out of her life .. im her best friend ??!! She loves me , but she not in love with me. She got scared and confused. She wants us to talk all day every day just like before, all weekend shes says " i love you".. she asks me to cuddle her... still saves all of my voice messages so she can re listen to them, because it makes her feel loved. Tells me its ok if i talk to her loving like i always have... then turns around and says i have to understand " where she is at" now.. flip flopping like she has been doing.. I told her i feel like she wants me there to fill her day. make her feel loved, beautiful, that i dont know how to treat her as a friend, ive always have treated her as im in love with her. That she ripped my heart out.. and is asking me to stand up and give it back to her.. knowing shes doing what shes doing, and can do it to me all over again. That shes getting everything from shes always loved and needs... but im kept at arms length.. and cant have my wants or needs. all she would say is " im so sorry, ive been awful to you, i love you" we were in contact all day yesterday.. many i love you's.. her saying she wants me to cuddle and kiss her ... last night she says she wishes she could spend the night.. and cuddle up to me with her leg over me and her head on my chest.. i sent her a voice text telling her goodnight and i love her.. she saved that one too ( i can see if she keeps it) then sent me one saying " goodnight I love you" im stuck in the twilight zone nightmare
Theniceone Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I doubt her current boyfriend would be okay with the all day contact you two have. All it tells me is that she is a deceptive person and you should not believe anything she says.
overthemoon86 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 This is messed up. She has a boyfriend...stop talking to her. Immediately. You just keep hurting yourself through this and prolonging the agony. The way I see this is your "cyber relationship" was not real and now she has a real life boyfriend. She is toying with you. Have respect for yourself and stop speaking to her.
Doc Blaze Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 We have talked this weekend... Its like a nightmare.. She emailed me saying she is sorry she hurt me. But she doesn't want me out of her life .. im her best friend ??!! She loves me , but she not in love with me. She got scared and confused. She wants us to talk all day every day just like before, all weekend shes says " i love you".. she asks me to cuddle her... still saves all of my voice messages so she can re listen to them, because it makes her feel loved. Tells me its ok if i talk to her loving like i always have... then turns around and says i have to understand " where she is at" now.. flip flopping like she has been doing.. I told her i feel like she wants me there to fill her day. make her feel loved, beautiful, that i dont know how to treat her as a friend, ive always have treated her as im in love with her. That she ripped my heart out.. and is asking me to stand up and give it back to her.. knowing shes doing what shes doing, and can do it to me all over again. That shes getting everything from shes always loved and needs... but im kept at arms length.. and cant have my wants or needs. all she would say is " im so sorry, ive been awful to you, i love you" we were in contact all day yesterday.. many i love you's.. her saying she wants me to cuddle and kiss her ... last night she says she wishes she could spend the night.. and cuddle up to me with her leg over me and her head on my chest.. i sent her a voice text telling her goodnight and i love her.. she saved that one too ( i can see if she keeps it) then sent me one saying " goodnight I love you" im stuck in the twilight zone nightmare she is making you both look like fools... let this sink in for a min..... she is probably hooking up with her boyfriend, then he leaves and she talks about "cuddling with you" you are just her emotional buffer...she gets the best of both worlds and you get used.
Ms Darcy Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 You need to stop talking to her. She has a boyfriend.
Bridger1 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 im so confused... mainly at myself... NORMALLY.. i would have put up with this for about 1.5 seconds... and turned completely cold.. and would have said my piece with out reservation... why is she different i dont get it
overthemoon86 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 im so confused... mainly at myself... NORMALLY.. i would have put up with this for about 1.5 seconds... and turned completely cold.. and would have said my piece with out reservation... why is she different i dont get it Because you are allowing it. You need to stop this now if you want to feel better.
boltnrun Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Because all of your contact is via electronic means, so you can create a massive fantasy life. I just can't understand why you tell someone who lied to you for so long that you love them. Does that mean you love the lies and the deceit? And of course she will continue to use you. Your response to her deceitful lies was "I love you", after all! She concludes that you like to be lied to, and that she can stomp all over you and treat you horribly and all you'll do is say "I love you". How does it make you feel knowing some other guy is kissing and cuddling her?
Coldarmy13 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Normally I wouldn't reply to a thread where multiple people have told you the obvious, but maybe one more will help you move on. She is filling your ear with sweet nothings and stringing you along. You going along with this is allowing yourself to be a doormat in case her boyfriend (who shes technically cheating on, IMO) doesn't work out. I know youre hurting and settling for whatever you think keeps her around in any capacity, but this is really about you and your self respect. She did wrong by you and you stay around. Cut her loose, shes obviously no good regardless of what she SAYS. Maybe you think you cant get better or deserve better. You certainly do.
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