dundermiflin Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 I have been crushing hard on the same guy for almost 10 years. I've had relationships in those years, and he was married. A year ago he got divorced and my relationship ended. We connect in many ways, and I guess I got my hopes up that maybe he would consider me, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way. I don't feel good about pushing it because we both are really into our jobs, and I don't want to make him uncomfortable here, and I think I've read enough signs. Meanwhile, my ex still loves me and I don't think I can love him back anymore, I have tried. He is sad and I'm sad that it hurts him. I'm so frustrated! Where are the happy endings for people? I am already 36. I'm trying to love life and accept that I can't control whether or not I'll be lucky in love. I'm just stuggling. I want to love my ex and just be done with it. But I don't completely trust him and I hate that I dream of someone else when I'm with him, how fair is that to either of us. Aaarg. How do I stay positive and get myself to stop pining away? Anyone know people that have had real love work out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Yes, but very rarely at work. Perhaps now that you can focus your energy on your old relationship since Mr Crush didn't come running when he was free, it might stand a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 How have you managed to get yourself crushing on him which has led you to a failed relationship(s?)? Have you been spending one-on-one time with him outside of work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movingforward3 Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Likely your crush is a fantasy that does not exist in real life. You projected onto him the things you are not getting from your present relationship. Perhaps, if you focused on your ex more and pushed to give it a shot, it may just do that. Sometimes love isn't constant. That's when you have to choose to love even more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundermiflin Posted October 22, 2015 Author Share Posted October 22, 2015 The crush isn't what caused my relationship to fail. No one-on-one time outside of work. Some group stuff but I never considered more because he was married and I thought he always would be. It was just a fantasy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Ohhhhh noooo.. NO work related relationships! Don't even consider it... Besides.. YOU aren't even over your Ex/relationship. >>>"Meanwhile, my ex still loves me and I don't think I can love him back anymore, I have tried. He is sad and I'm sad that it hurts him. I'm so frustrated!" As for your 'age'? I am in my mid 40's and single. In NO rush to jump into anything just because I may feel bored, lonely, etc. You need to heal and come to love YOURSELF before you can give to anyone else again. If you know things will never work out with your Ex.. then walk away from all of that! Stop torturing yourself with what if's, etc. Work on 'Accepting' the facts and healing from the Break up. **Remember.. al that is going on with you & this guy at your work is a 'crush'. Nothing more. Move on.. away from that idea! Start taking care of YOU now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overthemoon86 Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 NEVERRRRR engage in a workplace romance. BAD BAD BAD idea. And you are dealing with far more important things in your personal life. You are not over your ex. Focus on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwantherback88 Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 I have known many couples to meet at work and stay together and be happily married. I'm not saying it would work for everyone but I definitely think it can if the match is right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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