Butterflyxx Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 Me and my boyfriend were together for 7 months (December 2014-July 2015) but we ended breaking up because I got extremely obsessed with him. I got scared that he liked other girls that he was talking to, and I would stalk their social media, I would obsess over everything my boyfriend liked on Facebook and Instagram, and when he wouldn't reply for a few hours or even half an hour and he was online I would spam him with messages until he would reply. He ended up saying he wanted space and we broke up shortly afterwards. We broke up for 2 months and within that time we had N/C, and when we went back to school he started talking to me again, he told me he missed me, he made a mistake and he wanted to try again. Now one and a half months later I'm obsessing over him again. I get scared if he likes another girl, when he doesn't reply for a while I get annoyed and have a go at him because I get scared he will leave again. On Wednesday I told him that he should find another girl as I expected too much out of him, but then I later told him I regretted what I said. I make myself miserable and I obsess and worry about this constantly, and I know what I'm doing is destructive but that makes me worry more as I get scared he'll leave again and it's one big circle. I think about him literally 24/7 and I can't not talk to him for long periods of time as I get anxious. Every night has to be a routine and if for a few nights things change, for example he doesn't reply for long periods of time and he's online I panic. There's this one girl who is 14, (me and my boyfriend are both 17), and she's a very good singer and they talk quite a lot, and have done for nearly a year and whenever she puts a picture up my boyfriend will like it, and when she walks past at school he looks at her and I've mentioned it before to him that I'm scared he likes her and he said he doesn't, she's good at singing but she's too young for him anyway but she's a good friend. I can't get it out of my head that he's lying to me and he likes her, otherwise why would he like her pictures etc? This week he's been acting a bit distant and I keep messaging him when he doesn't reply and I know it's annoying him and I feel bad for doing it I just can't stop. He's such a laid back guy and I'm totally the opposite and I'm so scared I'll lose him. I don't know how to stop worrying because one week I'll be totally fine and think to myself 'see, there's nothing to worry about' but the next week something happens, for example he wont reply for hours, or he will like another girls status or picture and I'll feel insecure and worry. I'm even worrying now as I type this because I'm scared I've lost him again. I know I NEED to stop, I just don't know how!!! I'm so insecure and I can't stop it. All of my friends and family get annoyed at me because one week we are fine and the next I'm either upset or angry at him. He's such a kind and understanding guy, he does his best to make me feel happy and I do the same for him, I just never feel satisfied and he's told me numerous times that he can't do anymore than he's already doing. I push my friends and family away and I'm totally consumed by him. I get jealous because I wish I was more like him because he can balance his friends, school and me but I can't do that. He says he loves me and he doesn't want anyone else but me but what if he gets annoyed with me again because of my obsession and anxiety and leaves me? I can't stop worrying and I feel the need to spam him with messages until he replies and I get upset lots, and I'm frustrated with myself because I know this is the exact same way I felt before we broke up but I'm scared it's too late again and I've already lost him. I can't keep living this way. PLEASE HELP!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willywagtail Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 You must get counselling. You have an anxiety disorder and you need to get assistance. You aren't able to deal with day to day situations with your BF because your anxiety is so intense. It's affecting every part of your life, and it's affecting your mental and emotional health. Please get professional help to deal with your anxiety and fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterflyxx Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 I know I need help and counselling, but if I asked my mum for it she'd think I'm being stupid or attention seeking. Is there anyway I can get help without it? When I get anxious I pick the threads from my clothes and I've done this for years and my mum gets annoyed because I ruin all my clothes too. My dad has the exact same problem especially when he started dating my mum when he was 16 and he had tablets for his anxiety now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterflyxx Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 I can't even meet friends or family because I know I'll be in a bad mood and I'll be glued to my phone waiting for him to reply and everyone gets annoyed with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willywagtail Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 If you're 17 you should be able to go the doctor alone? What about your school? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterflyxx Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 I could try my school but they would get my parents involved. My sister has social anxiety and the school doesn't help her at all. I just want to stop all this worrying it makes me feel drained and physically sick, I can hardly sleep at night and I'm pushing my boyfriend away and I can't do that. Is there anyone on the Internet I can talk to instead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 Yes, there are forums especially for people with anxiety. You could also try mindfulness meditation. Could it be helpful to talk to your father? I have an anxiety disorder - have had it most of my life - most of the time these days, I'm okay unless I'm under a LIT of stress which does happen sometimes for everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterflyxx Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 Do advise any specific websites? And yes I've spoke to my dad lots about it and he ends up getting annoying with me as I worry about the same thing over and over again and he ends up saying 'if you carry on like this you'll lose him, you need to stop' which makes me feel worse about myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 This is an Australian site for anxiety and depression. The forum is much, more slower than sites like ENA, but they link to information resources. I was just reading a members high recommendation of an app called "Buddhify" which is pretty much mindfulness on the run. I'm not connected to WiFi right now so I will have to wait. It only costs around $7.50 and looks like it would be worth it. I'm looking forward to getting it myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sargon Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 I know I need help and counselling, but if I asked my mum for it she'd think I'm being stupid or attention seeking. So what? My dad has the exact same problem especially when he started dating my mum when he was 16 and he had tablets for his anxiety now. Then talk to your dad about it. He'll understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterflyxx Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 He just tells me to stop worrying and that if I keep doing it I'll lose him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emilystyles199 Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 I literally almost went through the same thing. If you want you can inbox me. You and I are like literally the same person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterflyxx Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 I'd love to! I'm new to this site, how do I inbox you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sargon Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 You and I are like literally the same person. You're not supposed to have multiple accounts on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterflyxx Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 I don't think she meant it literally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sargon Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Neither did I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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