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Right so, last year I began talking to someone online. I'm from the UK he's from the US. I fell in love with him (I know you may find it arguable as to whether it is actually love, due to never meeting.. But anywho).

I'm finding it incredibly difficult. He's very shy/anxious. Over the course of knowing each other (a year and four months) I have only received two pictures of him. Now you may be thinking I'm being catfished; but I'm not. I've seen his passport and other such proof. He's been on cam to show me things, albeit not his face. But I can 100% say I know the pictures he has sent are him. He has a lot of anxiety about how he looks, despite me telling him that I adore what I've seen and I'm not exactly shallow. I didn't fall in love with him b/c of how he looks, that is simply a bonus.

Anyway; we've discussed meeting on several occasions... & he's been hesitant to ever get to the arranging part. I've stated I'm more than happy to fly over etc. But he lives with his parents and he finds that difficult. He hasn't told ANYONE about me. Despite us being in a relationship for over a year. Well, he has told one online friend, who is from Sweden.

We get sexual together & I use my cam. But ofc he is incredibly reluctant to do so. & this often makes me feel a little poo.

We spend a LOT of time together. Whenever I am free; we're on Skype. I go on mic, but often he just types to me. He will go on mic sometimes. I know this seems very fishy from a outsiders perspective, but I am certain nothing "wrong" is actually going on. He just has a few issues.

But I am struggling. & I'm not sure he'll ever be ready to meet, & it's hard to persuade him to ever even go on cam. I'm at a point in my life where I want to physically be with someone.

I'm considering ending the relationship, but I don't know where to begin. I feel like it'll tear his world apart. & I don't want to hurt him, yet I'm tired of things being very one-sided.

I've noticed I easily become angry, which I never did before. & University is becoming increasingly stressful.

But what do I do?

How on Earth do I approach this.

I'm at a loss.

 

Please help.

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You will not be tearing his world apart if you break up with him, don't worry. Everything you wrote is extremely fishy, I cannot understand how and why you would accept him not even showing his face on camera, and why do you believe the things he's been feeding you. And IF everything you say about him is true (which I doubt 100%) then he must be a very troubled person who is not capable of functioning in society, let alone be in a healthy relationship. But I don't think that's the case, I do think he's a liar and probably a cheater too - probably a much older man with a wife and kids. This is why secrecy is very important, and the 2 pictures you saw are probably someone else's. It's scary that you not only find all these things odd, but you go ahead and fall in "love" with this individual, who can be pretty much anybody. And you waste a year being in a "relationship" with this entity. And you've gone naked for him/her on camera. Seriously, you need to comprehend the gravity of what you're doing and stop doing it!

 

Yes, "break up" with him (it wouldn't be a real break up anyway) and go live amongst the living, get into a real relationship, experience life with a real man, and learn some street smarts, because clearly you are unhappy with your fantasy, and I do hope the waste of time is the only bad thing that came out of that fantasy, and you won't find yourself on some porn sites or worse.

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Fishy or not... why? He is too shy to do what needs to be done to keep you. It's starting to take it's toll. You need the relationship to step up from whatever it is now to something more real, and he wont even do simple things, like showing his face on cam. Break up with him. If he's NOT a catfish, you will be doing him a huge favor.

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You aren't getting what you need or want from this situation. The reasons for his behavior are irrelevant. Time to end it.

 

You might consider spending some time single to figure out why this was an acceptable situation for you for so long. Do you have fears about being close to people in real life? You willingly engaged in a pretty hands-off relationship for an entire year. Clearly there are some issues to address.

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