In need of advice

[NitoW]

Dear Forum,

 

before i go ahead and describe my issue, i want to thank you for your time and apologize for any mistakes as it is a first time im posting something like this.

 

I am a 22 year old university student from Europe who is together with a lovely sweet girl for about a year now. We share a long history and use to date back in middle school also we are each others first sexual partners. Back in the day we broke up due to us moving to separate countries and for the first time figuring out long distance just doesnt work.

 

Anyway to the problem we, or should i say i am facing at the moment. Our sexlife is suffering alot! We have had alot of sexual partners inbetween, she apparently had some that were not really satisfying her needs by just being unskillfull.I for the record do get her off when we do have sex so there isnt a problem there, ive even asked just to check if im not being too cocky, apart me recognizing clear visual signs shes enjoying it i always try to ask if shes enjoying her self, not in a obsessive way but just to show i care.

 

When we started dating for like 2~3 months we had sex when ever we slept over together so like every other day. She isnt really the best at it but she tried and asked what i would like and we tried different positions that we both liked. I was fine with it, thats all i want. She doesnt need to be a sex goddess to satisfy me all i care about is that we love each other and we both put in abit of effort to make this pleasurefull.

 

After these couple months she and i agreed to try out pills for birth control in order to make our sex life abit easier and more exciting. This is when our problems started after couple weeks we had less and less of sex and after 2 month i talked to her about it she went to a doctor and tried to change for less harmfull pills ( for the record i did tell her if shes doesnt like taking it she should lay off).

 

After this the problem maintained and i firstly mentioned my concern and dissatisfaction about us having less and less sex. We waited out the recommend period for the the body to adjust to the change as she suggested that might be the problem but it didnt change.

 

Whenever we talked about it she listed the pills as the most likely reason so we layed it off. She even went to the doctor to check out if everything was fine with her medicaly.

 

Eitherway here i am after 6 months of having sex 2~3 times a month sometimes even less, now a days only in missinary position with a girlfriend that is aware of the problem and agrees it should be fixed but doesnt seem to try to do anything about it appart from finding different things that could be causing it.

 

As a guy in my age im very sexually active and ive been trying to be as understanding as posible, but im afraid my patience is running out ive been feeling really depressed about it lately, its the only thing i can think about and quiet frankly is driving me nuts.

It isnt really about having sex its more about me not being able to be intimate with the person i love and want to have future with.

Prehaps the depression stems from me starting to realise this isnt going to change and me not being able to live with it.

I wish i wouldnt care about it like she does because apart of this we are great together.

 

Ill appreciate any tipps or advice maybe someone will bring light to what i could be doing wrong before we break up.

[SooSad33]

Do you ever satisfy yourself, when you dont get it with her?

 

Maybe this is just how it's going to be.. for a while at least. Things and people do change.

Often in the beginning of a relationship things are VERY new & exciting.. then that wears off after a few months...

So.. could be this is how she is.. can you handle that? or do you think you're just not as compatible?

[mhowe]

It sounds like she really doesn't like sex. Yes, some BC pills can affect libido, but there are other methods, other pills, and a host of other things. Your clue....missionary only. She doesn't want to try, to experiment. She wants it to be over with the least effort on her part.

 

Sexual incompatibility is the reason for many break ups. Love is the easy part...compromise takes effort.