JonSnow1986 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 So I slept with my room mates sister and it was just sex. We all have the same friend group but she just got out of a horrible 9 year marriage, he was a drug addict, and I just got out of a bad relationship myself. Because we both shared the same friends we kept it a secret. Once everyone found out she didn't seem as interested emotionally. Then after a few more weeks of us still seeing each other she told me love me but I told her I didn't love her, we stopped sleeping together after about a month. She started dating someone else a few weeks later and I started having feelings for her. Her current boyfriend was just a fling and her and got back together. We dated for about 4 months and she said she just didn't love me and I think we moved to quickly. I started sleeping over her house a lot, telling each other "I love you" and things like that. All right away. We broke up and everything was OK with our friend group but I was still heart broken but was getting over it. I confined on my best friend how I felt and he helped me move on for the most part. Then my best friend and my ex started spending time together just a week after i told him i wouldn't be comfortable with it. I asked him several times not to sleep with her but he did. I just happened to see them out at a bar kissing, it's not a small town but its not big. I found out they have been dating for 3 weeks. My best friend and I have been friends for 11 years but how he manipulated me and lied to me I just can't be his friend anymore. All our friends told me before he liked her but I didn't think so because he told me he didn't so many times. Now everyone in our group is mad at her and they hate my ex best friend even my room mate who is her brother, he respects me and doesn't mind me dating her. I just really want to know how to handle this properly. If we get back together that would be great but I really don't want her dating my old best friend. We were great friends before my ex started seeing her, we still would hang out a lot and kiss&cuddle. I feel like it may be a rebound because they are sort of right for each other but he is an over planner and she is a free spirit but they do have some things in common. Also her and I go to Muay Thai together so I will be seeing her two times a week. P.S. - Our whole "relationship" lasted about two year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Are there no other girls in the town you live in? I think you need a new gf who isn't bouncing from guy to guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottieflanogon Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 That kind of situation is always going to hurt. Good thing about this though, is that you realized that your friend isn't really a friend.You are going to be jealous, and be hurt for quite some time. But you will get over it. Just try as hard as you can to just let it go. Hang out with your other friends, go out and have fun. Meet new people. Do anything you can to forget about the people who obviously don't care about your feelings. Take time. You'll be ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonSnow1986 Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 I did some bad things too but I guess I didn't give the whole story. She would tell me she didn't care if I slept with other girls so I did and after that she started to say she had feelings for me. We were never very open about how we felt at the right times. I wouldn't mind if she got a boyfriend but not my best friend. To answer your question this town is full of rednecks and drunks and most have very closed minds. Dorky as it is we would play video games together, go to raves and talk a lot about philosophy and other things people in this town do not care for. I mean people like what they like and that's cool but most the people I really got along have all moved away over the years. My roommate and his sister's have awesome parties, cookouts, skiing trips and they are very active people. It might be selfish of me but I want to continue to go to these things without it being weird. Her new boyfriend really isn't a good guy anyway and that is why the group dislikes him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I'm think YOU were a rebound as well. She's all over the place with men. By sounds of it, she's far from 'stable' in any sense. You want to keep getting hurt?? if Im correct, she never properly accepted & healed from her long term relationship before you. it's sad to let a woman come between friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonSnow1986 Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 My friends already didn't like him but I always defended him. He sent sexual texts to one of my friends girlfriends and I didn't know about this until recently. He lied to me several times and then started seeing her after I told him proactively not to sleep with her. It is just the way he handled the whole situation and I think I am better off not being his friend anymore. It makes sense she never really healed from the marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 But he was your 'best friend'. Are u sure this isn't stemming from some anger towards him? In all honesty, you don't 'own her'. She is old enough to make her own decisions.. as is he. Did you ever heal properly from your own BU? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonSnow1986 Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 I believe I did. My last girlfriend was extremely unstable and controlling but that didn't happen until I moved in with her. I know I am in a much better place in my life in comparison. I just feel so betrayed by my friend and that is the worst part. I know I don't own her and she can do whatever she wants but my friend was the one who convinced us to stop seeing each other because it was so off and on. He told her lies about how I was over her and dating other people. I told him I wasn't over her yet but was getting there and to not sleep with her because I know how he is with girls. I asked him why he slept with her after I asked him not to and he told me he thought he just meant that specific night. I am able to talk to her calmly about this and she even stated he isn't a very good friend. I think I am just mostly upset with the person who I thought was my best friend for eleven years. I don't feel a broken heart but I am just so angry at him. All our friends used to hang out and watch game of thrones at her house and other shows like that on Sundays but now no one goes because they don't like him. I feel like this is high school drama but I can either deal with them dating or just not do the activities we all do together. I go to Muay Thai with this girl twice a week and used to see her a decent amount because we share a lot of the same friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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