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Sister-in-law problems...


Lynte659

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So I've been with my guy for 8 years. Me and his sister used to have a good relationship. We used to go out all the time and have fun together. Now, our relationship is a whole other story. When I go around her, she purposely makes these weird comments to try and make me feel uncomfortable. At the moment I can't think of what they specifically are because I don't let it bother me at the moment, I just ignore her and go enjoy myself with whoever else is around. But today I'm bothered. We were all supposed to go to the beach, but once I found out his sister was going I didn't want to go. I don't want to surround myself with her today, is that so wrong? I talked to my guy about it last night and let him know how I felt, and he just reassured me that if he were to ever hear her talk about me or anything like that, of course he'd stand up for me. And I don't want him talking to her about it because it's such smalls things she does. She's just a bully plain and simple. She has relationship problems with soooo many people it's bizarre. In her eyes she's never in the wrong, and it's her way or the highway. I've never done anything specifically towards her. *Sigh* I think I may need to toughen up and not be so sensitive. I mean who gives a crap, screw her. It's just frustrating having to go around her, especially with the holiday's coming up. Any advice or personal experience dealing with not so good in laws?

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Well sadly I don't think you can do anything. I would pay a compliment to her every so often and just ignore her comments. Eventually she will see the good side of you even if they really isnt a bad side to you and she is nuts. She probably is attention hungry. Just be cordial with her but distant

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Consider whether you want to give her the power to weaken your relationships with BF's family and friends by opting out of events where she'll be present.

 

A better option might be to play 'stupid and cheerful' with her. In this case 'stupid' just means feigning an inability to recognize an insult. This is like teflon and allows her comments to blow right by you while you respond with nothing but warm and cheerful deflection, such as, "You have such a great sense of humor," or, "what a kind thing to say," or, "I'm getting myself a drink, would you like one?"

 

When you're stupid and cheerful, she'll need to work one helluva lot harder to affect you, and you'll gain confidence in your ability to thwart her purpose. You may even start enjoying yourself more as you demo to her that she cannot bait you into becoming unkind or uncomfortable.

 

Head high.

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