Ex = cheating wh**e => Revenge?

[Samsun]

Well hello guys and gals!

 

Here's my story.

 

First off I'm only 21 and I know I'm young but when sh*t drops in I'm sure age doesn't matter.

 

I started dating this girl in high school and we both wanted a serious relationship, even though we were young didn't really know what we were getting into. I dated her for 4.5 years we had 1 serious break up almost an year ago (I posted that here too) . We broke up because I was busy with 40 hours of work with full time college so life was hectic, she distanced from me. I tried really hard to see her and stay connected. From giving her rides to work (which is not close) to try to see her after my work. Now I worked nights and mornings I'd get a nap before school which wasn't ez (don't pity me tho, just showing I tried) . She let another guy get close, I blamed myself but I knew I always tried in the relationship her not so much. Well back then I was stuck in the "love" emotion with it came blinding stupidity and ignorance. We got back in a weird way. I finally had it and I sent her the last message of good bye, basically I'm done. That night she called me and asked to talk. She wanted to get back together with the sparks of old memories and emotions we got back. She told me she tried to move on by talking to other guys, she even had sex with another. I KNOW I KNOW I'm stupid, but I let that slide as a mistake I don't know what the hell my mind was thinking. FYI this was not a long break up we broke up for 1 ~ 2 weeks.

 

Now when I posted that here I remember one of the users telling me to move on even when she comes back, I know I should've listened, all my friends said the same thing. For some dumb reason I was looking for the good in her.

 

Lastly here we are now, we broke up about a month ago. This time it was totally different.

 

First reason, we broke up cause she wanted to focus on school & work. I was happy for her I gave her props to focus on school and work, still naive I was.

 

Second reason, she said I didn't want to be with someone who has chest pains (heart condition) and said didn't want to be with a dying person. Now to clear things up I do have chest pains. I've been to a cardiologist twice so far and all I've gotten is I'm super low on Vitamin D which can develop into heart conditions not yet.

 

Third reason, I wasn't fun. This has to be the biggest of all bull craps of all time, I was like on Mars while she was in a cave on Earth. Her parents were strict didn't let her go anywhere how am I to f***ing blame?

 

THE TRUTH** Then a friend of mine, who has class with her told me she went out drinking with some guy Fernando (F**k boy). So then it clicked, I don't know how you can tell someone "I love you" an hour before you want to break up because of school and work. You go to a damn community college and work at a retail store it's not that hard. Also it's not like her school stuff was hard, I always supported her and it was easy I was always willing to help. So then I wanted an item I left at her house and asked her to bring it out so I can confront her, I know not the best way. But I let her bull sh*t cause I gave her a Note 4 (phone) when she purposely broke her other one. So I took the phone like so =>"hey let me see something with the phone" she isn't smart her IQ is like 3. So i snooped through it and found out she had already moved on and was literally dating another guy behind my back. I found out she was "seeing him" and went out to the movies with him while we were dating. They were already at the point of birth control like wh*re. Now I know why she wanted to truly break up.

 

At the end of the day I feel so bipolar I'm a chill guy but I'm sure anyone after a 4.5 years of all that dedication and commitment you'd get mad too but then I feel so happy cause I don't have to deal with her family and her ( she made be the bad guy for no reason). Sucky part is it would have been so much better if I didn't know they were still F***ing cause boy she made that very clear "I'm f**king him to get over you," like really b***h you have to tell me? I can ruin so much of her life but I don't know what's stopping me.

 

Sorry guys I know I'm a d**k in majority of the writing, just angry sometimes I want to release all those damn nudes but Idk I still feel bad. Like I don't understand how you can be so f**ked up!!

 

FYI -- To those wondering if I was a good BF, everyone I've told this knows I was doing too much. The worst thing I've every done to her in the 4.5 years was judge her truthfully on her cloths. Which was "You dress a little ty" I KNOW the worst. That is it, I even distanced my self from my friends who were girls cause she was jelly.

 

WHAT TO DO??

[HLnoelle]

It's perfectly fine to vent, in fact it's good you did on here rather than typing it out and sending it to her. That would be a bad option. Hopefully you feel better now that you've vented. I know I do when I write out my thoughts. I also know I can say some things in the heat of being angry that maybe I don't entirely mean, because I still care about that person to some extent despite what they did to me. Not sure if that's your case. What you should do is work on moving on, much like you did venting on this forum. Block contact from her, and try to focus on other things.

 

I will say I'm really not sure why you bought her a phone. It's almost like you got it just so you could look through it, because you felt you had "the right" since you bought it for her. I'm saying this because you previously mentioned how you did not trust her. I'm not saying your feelings aren't valid at all. They are. All I'm saying is ultimately you knew of the issues as you said before, you chose to ignore advice knowing full well that the outcome would most likely not turn out well. I know because I've down the same thing when I was in a crappy relationship at a young age. We can tell you all the great advice but sometimes people have to make their own mistakes so they can learn from them. I will not judge you there because I ignored advice. And I wasted a couple years of my life. I gained some life lessons, but it sucked. And I would never knowingly put myself in a toxic situation like that again, such as you yourself were in.

 

I don't think it's productive to call her names, or to remark on her IQ. Yes community college may be easier in some aspects. But it's a great stepping stone for people, especially those who aren't immediately ready to go to a four year school. There is stigma around it, but community colleges provide great opportunities and often equally important and rigorous coursework. Maybe I'm biased but I'm about to graduate from one. I'm in phi theta kappa, and got accepted to American University. Just try to be more open-minded. Good luck. I'm sorry you are going through a hard time, really I empathize. Stay strong. You are a good person. Don't stoop to her level.

[Capricorn3]

Happiness is the sweetest revenge. Stooping to a low level will only backfire on YOU, and make YOU look bad.

[appies]

I can understand where you're coming from, what she did was wrong. I've been there, cheated on not that long ago. Revenge is very very tempting, and hell I almost did it a few weeks ago. But I promise you in a few weeks you will be happy you didn't seek revenge. If you're a good person taking the high road is the better option. Someone who plays you or cheats on you isn't a happy person. You dont want to be with her, shes not worth your time.

[Samsun]

@HLnoelle

 

Didn't mean to confuse you in bought her many things one of the many was a new cell phone as a birthday gjft + she destroyed her other one.

 

Also I too go to the same college not saying its bad, I was just angry not thinking. I know I might sound truly rude when calling her names but in my opinion you are what you do and become what you've done. I understand I'm a bit tipsy as I'm typing lol. Its true tho I have to move have to push forward and happiness is key why care for her now. She's nothing to me but a memory. Thank you!

 

I talked to a friend too his right to point out I shouldn't suffer for another's mistakes.

[Movingforward3]

I understand where you are coming from on revenge. My first wife cheated on me and I was so angry. I wanted to destroy her and those she cheated with. I ultimately decided to let that go. Too many innocents would be hurt and I would rather take the better path.

As they say, "fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side." If you give in to being spiteful and vengeful, you may never recover. You aren't ready now, but at some point you have to let that anger go. Forgive her and yourself. Carrying that pain with you only will hurt you in the long run. You have many years to find someone else. Good luck. So sorry for your pain.

[ParisPaulette]

What to do? Block and delete her and her family completely. Move on. Find other people who will appreciate you. Hit the gym, take up new and interesting hobbies, date and have a good time.

 

When or if she ever tries to get in touch a simple, "I don't think so" is all the revenge you need. It really is true that the very best revenge in the world is when you're sitting in a nice restaurant with a great meal and a new love interest thinking to yourself, "I wouldn't be having this experience if Ex hadn't left me, must remember to thank them if I ever see them again for giving me this gift."

 

It also doesn't hurt when you're out looking good and being happy and they bump into you and see they didn't break you. Just saying.

 

Time to move on. Revenge is a dish best served by showing them your life got twice as amazing after they left you. Of course, by that time you no longer care what they do or don't think, which makes it doubly sweet.

[Samsun]

Thank you all for the feed back. I feel much better and I'll take all the advice.