shadowvamp085 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 So I have always had this problem of low self esteem when it comes to my appearance. But it's so bad that I feel like I'm worthless and not good enough when I see a female who I feel is more attractive than me. It's like any self esteem I have goes out the window. It's like I feel like I'm just so ugly when this happens. Like what makes me attractive or special? Its mainly my physical self esteem I have a problem with not so much personality. I love my personality, I just hate my physical appearance. And it's not all the time. There are some days I feel great about my appearance. This issue of mine even effects my relationship with my boyfriend -and past boyfriends. I just want to feel happy with my appearance where it doesn't matter what another female looks like. And I also just want to be able to accept the love from my boyfriend and know that's enough. I honestly can't even type this stuff without my eyes watering up. So please anyone who can help or give advice please do. I'm so tired of struggling with this. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movingforward3 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 You need to focus on working on you. Exercise, eat healthy, new clothes, and live your life. Personality will out win a pretty shallow face any day! You have to work on your confidence, first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 You need to seek professional help with a therapist. This is not something you can conquer by reading about it or getting advice from strangers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I think majority of us, at some point, have self-esteem issue's. I may, for a second see a pretty woman and think... gee, I wish I looked like that!... BUT, then I walk away. That's it.. it's done. ( I have come to accept who I am). We are all meant to be different. No one's the same or this would be a boring World! As mentioned, I'd suggest you consider some professional help if it's getting to you this badly. One thing you can try to do is say over & over to yourself how special you are.. you are loved.. you have a good heart and you've got a bf who care's for & loves you. So often it is repeated around this site.. the fact that we have to 'love ourselves' before we can love other's and that, I agree is partially true. If I am always negative & depressed about myself, then how can I be happy around them? We can't 'lean' on other's too much and rely on them to 'make us happy'. Otherwise that can start wearing down the relationship. So. think about some prof help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoF Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 OP, accept yourself and love yourself for EXACTLY how you are. Get yourself naked, stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself. If there is anything you are in control of changing (physically) like losing weight or maybe clothes, DO IT. This will help you feel better about yourself. Key here is to learn to LOVE YOURSELF. Until you do so, it will be very hard for you to love someone else and it will effect your relationship as it has. Also, ask your boyfriend to complement you more. Sounds like you need it and besides, he should on regular basis (both of you should). This will help as well. You need to work on this, not rug sweep it or ignore it. NOT dealing with problems only results in those problems blowing up in your face later on. Time to do some work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 That is sad. I love myself no matter what shape I am in. I'm still me and me is pretty darn great. You have to learn how to think this way. Never compare yourself to others, that is suicide for your self esteem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I suffered from low self esteem for way too long. I truly believed nobody would want me, that I'd be alone for life. It took a long time then I actually did realize people liked me for me. I knew nobody would like me for my looks, they were liking me for my personality. I developed my personality and am indeed a smart, fun, loyal, clever person and those traits are way more important than how I look. I've struggled with my weight all my life and am a bit overweight now, but not a lot. I believe my fairly new self confidence helps me proceed in my life. If you can't reach this point on your own then get some counselling to learn how. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottieflanogon Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Time to see the doctor. He/she can recommend a therapist you can talk to about your feelings. It isn't easy to look into your self-esteem issues, but it will help you for the rest of your life if you can resolve this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowvamp085 Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Thank you everyone who has posted. Can yall tell me what a psychologist can actually do to help this? I know this sounds stupid but what's the difference between talking to them and talking to friends? Also I see a psychiatrist for medication for my bipolar. We don't talk about feelings there. I know that a psychologist is for that not a psychiatrist. But yeah, what can they do for me? And can they really help bring my self esteem back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 You and your friends do not have the tools nor training to get to the root of the problem. Ask your psychiatrist to recommend someone, although he/she is trained to do this as well. The only difference is a psychiatrist can prescribe meds. He/she should be able to help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quirky Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 A psychologist/counsellor/therapist can help you get to the roots of it and through that you can learn to love yourself slowly. It can also help you realise why appearance is so important to you, what does it represent, how much power it holds when it comes to feeling validated/accepted. It must be painful to feel this way, I have felt it too and it was just awful feeling inferior to other women. There will still be days I look at some women and think life must be so easy for you when looking so pretty and slim but in reality you just never know what people are dealing with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lGiles Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 There is a lot you can do for yourself. Having a healthy, balance baseline helps with mood, thinking, and outlook. Just doing basic things like getting enough sleep, eating fresh alive foods, getting some mild exercise every day, and socializing with positive, warm people can do wonders for attitude. A therapist can teach you coping skills that can help you avoid negative moods or get out of them quickly. If the problems are due to trauma or ineffective programming, a skilled therapist can reveal the source of the problem and remove it. Nobody has to be limited by ineffective programming or past trauma. There is a way out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowvamp085 Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 Thank you so much everyone for all of this. Someone I know loves her therapist so I'm gonna try to get in with him. I'm hoping to get better. Again I really appreciate all of you giving advice and taking the time to read this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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