Lynte659 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Curious to see what other peoples point of view is and personal experiences. * I posted a personal experience and for whatever reason it isn't posted on here ** Yes why do people cheat! I posted a long paragraph about my situation, which is why I put "men" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Why? Because they want to and have poor impulse control. Do they stop? No --- why would they? Getting caught doesn't matter to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyCoast Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 is there a specific situation you'd like opinions on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Men are not the only ones that cheat. In fact women cheating has been on the rise for some years now. It hasn't risen to the rate of male cheating but it is climbing faster than any other time in history. Why do people cheat? They are selfish and want what they want and don't care who gets hurts as long as they get it. Sure they convince themselves that if no one finds out nobody gets hurt but how often does that happen? The truth almost always comes out sooner or later doesn't it. Cheaters stop when they decide not to be selfish any longer and actually put the feelings of the other person above their own. Serial cheaters are a whole different animal. They are users. They use up everyone and everything in their lives with no remorse. Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 PEOPLE cheat, not just men. My brother's ex was a serial cheater. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alldaisies Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I am not agree 100%. No all men cheat for the same reason. I am a woman, but I know my husband well enough. He cheated because we had problems in our relation (we were what I will call "incompatible"), I was not giving him anything intellectual and he is very smart and the other woman accepted and did all she could to be with him (she was very smart and very fortunately of having the opportunities I did not had). The funny thing, I never said she was ugly or anything bad, other people around in the family told me that she did not compare to me, and then I was the one punished for tell in my madness that she was a b....Does she is? No, she just got involved with a married man, and I believe they both loved each others. I believe they could be very happy together. But for another reason that I do not know, my husband refused to give me the divorce and go with her. I was the one left in the most miserable position, without any right or reason. Men do not have control and some women do not have control either. I met a man that respected his wife a lot, I know that, because between us was a little connection. And he all the time was talking about his wife and his family. And nothing happened between of us. He was married and I was unhappily married, but married. I never cross lines. And he does not either. People cheat sometimes for a moments of pleasure and others like my husband did it for love. So sad, he did not listened to me when I told him to go with her and to fight for her. They are not together, but they destroyed my life and all I ever had. Do I care for my husband, yes, I care. Do I wish him well? Yes too, Did I pardoned him? Yes. But do I love him? No. All is all gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoF Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Why? Because they want to and have poor impulse control. Do they stop? No --- why would they? Getting caught doesn't matter to them. I know # of men that stopped cheating after doing it.....but it also took wife adjusting and CARING. Most men cheat because they are simply not getting what they need at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyCoast Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 my don't we just love purposeless discussions and a stage where A gets to argue B on whose opinion counts more. and let's not forget any thread is a good thread for another round of "are women worse than men or vice versa?". op has two threads so far, both are general, seemingly hypothetical questions. one being "when was enough enough for you ladies" and the other one being this one. so do you mean to ask whether there is a justification for (or reason for staying with) someone you're unhappy with and who has placed the final straw on your back by cheating? if so, probably no. if that's not what you were asking but were instead just feeling like throwing a discussion then i'm already singing eulogies to the "constructive" aspect of this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alldaisies Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 DoF, The same applied to woman. I have always said that we can betrayed even with the mind. Let's see, we are not blind, women and men equally can admire or like some very likable or attractive men/woman, no just for the appereance, also for their personality. Now, depend of us to stop and do what it is also right. And assume a decent position. I have acted bad in many ways, as I never would act in my healthy days. I crossed a line that I would not never crossed (I will carry that for the rest of my life, with shame and remorse, even if was no my fault completely) When I was in love with my husband I never ever look to another man in a different way (just like eye candy), even having many problems at home and all that yelling. People cheat because the set of values they have. When people is honest they do not cheat, they just put their face, assume the reality and fix things at home or get divorced. The problems we have at home cannot never be an excuse for cheating. At least for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Real men do not cheat. Also they do not cheat because they aren't getting enough at home. "Enough" can mean sex, attention, love, compassion or anything for that matter. They cheat because they think they are entitled to for what ever lame excuse they convince themselves they have. It is a purely selfish act, an uncaring act, a cowardice act and something a real honest person does not do. We all know people that seemed to have it all and cheated. Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloex Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 People in general cheat. But i think if you have been cheated on multiple times, you are probably looking for the wrong person. If you think you are not worth someone else commitment you will go for men who treat you badly. You are worth a man who respects you and is faithful. Establish your attitude towards cheaters near the start of the relationship. Never take any because your worth more than that. Go for a more sensitive type of person that you can trust. we accept the love we think we deserve - perks of being a wallflower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 It's unwise to trust human beings in general. It's especially unwise to trust men in the area of sexual fidelity. It's also especially unwise to trust women to resist their hypergamous instinct (constantly seeking to marry up/find someone above the status of their current partner). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Bummer ---- I guess I was born without a hypergamous instinct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alldaisies Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I am not agree with "hypergamous instinct" and that we all seek that...some do that, others no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 So is there a cologne that triggers that instinct? There is always an excuse for cheating isn't there? We all have free will, we are not Salmon that have to swim upstream to spawn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I am really bumming out and wondering if there are other instincts I am missing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I know # of men that stopped cheating after doing it.....but it also took wife adjusting and CARING. Most men cheat because they are simply not getting what they need at home. That's a bunch of crap! How about counseling or divorce! This applies to women, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 It's unwise to trust human beings in general. It's especially unwise to trust men in the area of sexual fidelity. It's also especially unwise to trust women to resist their hypergamous instinct (constantly seeking to marry up/find someone above the status of their current partner). Hmm, how does this apply to the many women who are now supporting men - don't understand that? Or, the many women, who are earning more than their spouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 People in general cheat. But i think if you have been cheated on multiple times, you are probably looking for the wrong person. If you think you are not worth someone else commitment you will go for men who treat you badly. You are worth a man who respects you and is faithful. Establish your attitude towards cheaters near the start of the relationship. Never take any because your worth more than that. Go for a more sensitive type of person that you can trust. we accept the love we think we deserve - perks of being a wallflower Totally agree!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alldaisies Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I do not know why to bring the word money, people who love, married no for money, married for love. I have met many couples with different social-economic status, even intelectual, and they are happy together. You would say they married for a personal interest because their differences. No. As well there are people looking to satisfy themselves and just that. And this cases, they look for economical status among different variables and nothing else. Again, this is not about men and women, both gender do the same mistakes, some more than others, but any one is exempt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 It's unwise to trust human beings in general. It's especially unwise to trust men in the area of sexual fidelity. It's also especially unwise to trust women to resist their hypergamous instinct (constantly seeking to marry up/find someone above the status of their current partner). The majority of women are not gold diggers. In this day and age, your thinking is a bit antiquated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appies Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 It's unwise to trust human beings in general. It's especially unwise to trust men in the area of sexual fidelity. It's also especially unwise to trust women to resist their hypergamous instinct (constantly seeking to marry up/find someone above the status of their current partner). Its especially unwise to make massive generalizations based on gender alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 It's pretty sad that we have to correct and replace with "people". Even sadder that some gender thing comes out of it, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 This thread has run its course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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