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Letter for my ex good or bad idea?


Scl52

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Hi so my ex and I broke up a few weeks ago, it's been tough since I have to see her everyday, but I was able to come to terms with the breakup (you know fake it till you make it) but I still want her back. Since the break up I have just been focusing on myself and keeping busy and surrounded with postitivity. So I decided to write her a letter, not a love letter or begging her to take me back just a letter letting her know I've accepted it and forgive her. Let me know what you think of it:

Dear a,

I just wanted to let you know that I have come to terms with the breakup, and I forgive you for what happened, after all we're all humans and we all make mistakes. Even though it hurts and I still care about you, I have let go of my anger and have to move on.

The time we spent together was very special to me. You are an amazing woman with a beautiful soul. I know this must not be easy for you either, but I understand that you're not ready to be in a relationship, and part of me should of seen that coming. I want to also say sorry for any inappropriate things I said, I let my emotions get the best of me and that was unfair to you.

I have something in the works that could be pretty big and would love to talk to you about it sometime, but now is not the right time.

 

Take care

S

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This is always a tough call, the 'goodbye' gives the impression that we get closure, but chances are what you feel might be VERY different in 2 more weeks. Its often not recommended to send this letter, but that is up to you to decide what makes you feel best. Personally, I'd get rid of the last part about telling her about your big plans. Its pretty transparent that you're wanting to show her that you've changed, and coax her in.

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Have you been reading and / or listening to "get your ex back" stuff? That "something big in the works" is classic. She's going to be sooooo curious about it that her panties will just fall off!! (sarcasm)

 

I don't think this is going to help you. If you had something it seemed like you honestly needed to express, I'd say send it, but this.....I can't recommend sending this.

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Yeah, drop the "something big in the works", if you send it at all. Sounds like a manipulative way to get her to respond.

 

You don't give enough details, but it sounds like you broke up with her cause she cheated on you or something to that effect. In which case, I have to ask, WHY do you want her back?

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He could reword it to say

I hope to share with you someday about all the changes I am making

He is attempting reconnection

This should be timed with no contact and follow through what your doing

Sometimes keeping limited contact may work

It depends upon situation

What are you trying to accomplish with letter?

Doing nothing is sometimes the best advice of all

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But you're not really looking for "closure", are you? Otherwise you wouldn't suggest you have "something big in the works" that you could share with her if only she'd talk to you.

 

"Closure" would be you wishing her godspeed and good luck and that's it. Not putting in a mysterious phrase designed to try to get her to respond.

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Why did you two break up?

 

I wouldn't send that letter. If writing it down helps you get things off your chest, then continue to but don't project that onto her. It isn't going to help you in any way. If you are looking for "closure", youre only going to really get that within yourself. If you go looking for it I doubt youll find it. I feel any letters like this, and ive seen a lot of them on here, including a long terrible one myself from my last relationship, but they all just put yourself out there and I don't think they can make you look any better in their eyes. Usually worse. Im so glad I never sent the one I wanted to, so I recommend the same.

 

With the way you ended it too, looks like youre hoping itll jump start a reconciliation. If you give that to her, are you ready for the possibility of more hurt and/or disappointment?

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