confusedchel12 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Why is ignoring my ex hurting me, he keeps ringing and texting saying he loves me and wants to see me. He thinks I hate him because he was messaging another girl for 5 weeks ( my previous threads tell you how I've been and what's happened in past 5 week) I'm hurt by what's he's done, I don't hate him but I'm now in a position where I can move on, if I see him he will turn it round so he feels better and he can move on in a better way and not me, he's played this games for 5 week now, its just a vicious circle, I've never gave him chance to miss me because I've begged him bk all until I found out about this other girl. He's loved his single life because I've always been there at end of phone or at home if he wanted to meet up but now I'm not, now he as to realise I'm gone, I can't even speak too him. Why do I feel so bad though in not responding.. I don't want to hurt him 😩 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigKK Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Block him, its not ignoring if you don't know whether he's contacting you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta96 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 It's ok, you're not hurting him. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too, and enjoyed making a fool out of you for as long as he knew you were there, as a safety net. Now that his game is no longer working, his ego has taken a dive and he's worried about ending up single for real, for a while. This is not real love, so keep ignoring because you're not losing anything. He made his bed with no regard to your feelings, now let him sleep in it and continue your process of healing and moving on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confusedchel12 Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 He's just text saying.. If we arent going to be together he cant let me go, how he feels now is how I've felt since we broke up, him constantly out partying with other girls, taking girls numbers etc etc while I've been heart broken. Now he's hurt me I feel I can move on. I'll never trust him again. All he keeps saying is..I don't want you to hate me, that's all he cares about, not me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta96 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Eh...block and don't give him a second thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fitgirl Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 I would block him, as the other posters suggested. Do not feel sorry for him. He did this to himself. You know you want to move on and this is the last thing holding you back. Stop sacrificing yourself for him. I feel like a part of you actually enjoys him chasing you in this way, and that's normal. But, you have to know it's not healthy and it isn't going to help you move on and heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confusedchel12 Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 I've blocked him now, I really don't enjoy it, because its making me feel really bad towards him especially when he's saying how much he loves me, and I'd have hated it if he ever ignored me when I was heart broken, I just want to move on now. He still doesn't want me, he just doesn't want to feel I think bad of him. Time to heal is best for us both now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fitgirl Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 This is honestly a time you are allowed to be selfish. You are allowed to protect yourself and move on, leaving them behind. It's not easy and you may have guilt about that, but you have to be strong for you both. He clearly cannot handle this process (which is absolutely necessary) so you will have to be the one to step up and end the cycle. I think you did the right thing by blocking him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Because he is convinced he can wear you down to accept him and what he's done. The chronic cheater is often the most persistent and insistent at being given another chance, because their very ego is tied into the ability they believe they have to control others and make them accept them back no matter what they do. It isn't love, it's the fact he actively needs you to validate his existence by taking him back or giving him a pass on his bad behavior and mistreatment of you. The problem is once he has you or you tell him he's not so terrible after all he'll be off needing that validation from another source or three as well and be back to cheating. Sorry OP, block and delete and ignore him. And if he truly, really didn't want you to think badly of him he wouldn't have cheated in the first place. He knows very well that what he did is wrong and he knew it while he was doing it. He can't cry about people thinking ill of him when he's doing wrong, sorry he doesn't get to make that demand. And stop feeling guilty, that's another trick chronic cheaters love to pull out and make it out like they are the victim. I'm sorry, he has a very set script in his head and you aren't following the play that allows him to feel good about his own actions. And guess what? You don't have to. You are actually doing him a huge favor by demanding and letting him live with the consequences of his own actions. Letting him get away with them, will only hurt you both more. Stay strong, stay NC, focus on your own healing. This may help: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I've blocked him now, I really don't enjoy it, because its making me feel really bad towards him especially when he's saying how much he loves me, and I'd have hated it if he ever ignored me when I was heart broken, I just want to move on now. He still doesn't want me, he just doesn't want to feel I think bad of him. Time to heal is best for us both now. IF he 'loved' you, wouldn't he be dealing with ONLY you? Not some other gal for weeks. Don't feel badly for taking care of YOU. You are the only one who can do this. Always tc of YOU first. Sounds like he is acting rather selfish.. fps. He has to own up to his actions & results of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 He feels bad? Good! These are consequences of his behavior. You don't need to hold his hand to make him feel better. The most valuable lessons are typically the most painful. Step back and leave him be to figure things out. Use that energy you are wasting on him and invest it in taking care of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
92151794 Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 Im glad that you are choosing no contact its better for you too heal Im going through a similar situation and as soon as I moved on he contacted me and i was back to square one Its been a few days since we talked though and I am doing better now. Hope everything works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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