27girl Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 This is a bit weird, but it all started with me and a guy got in contact because we both were dumped by our ex This was about a year ago and we really helped eachother out. Since then we hace had contact almost every day and we see eachother a couple of times a week. Over time we have started flirting a little bit. 1,5 month ago we went on a little trip togheter for a few days and slept in the same bed, but nothing more happened no sex or no kissing. After this same thing has happened again a couple of times, still no sex or kissing. Although he tried to kiss me once but he did it in a weird way so I backed off, and this was hard for him. He has told me several times that he likes me more than just a friend and asked me to make a decision about 'us'. I wanted to take it slow and don't decide anything. My ex cheated on me and it was a terrible breakup so last year this time I was a total mess and that's my I've been scared. Anyways, this last week I slept at his place for 3 nights, on friday he did asked me again and again to decide so I thought about and decided to go for it. Sunday monday I spent the night at his place agin and was going to tell him but before I did he tells me he don't want to anymore. He is afraid of going into a relationship because his last one was so bad, he is also concerned that he won't have enought time (although we always spent time as friends several times a week), he also told me his feelings were gone because of the lack of kisses and sex. I told him I wanted to start dateing him for real but he was unsure at first but then he said no. He also told me (crying) that he wanted us to be friends. He put his hands on my cheeks several times and said how wonderful I am. But still he didn't want to. Since then we texted just a little bit and he said he wasn't feeling good. It's been to days now. I'm not sure what to do. Should I go no contact? But in the same time, the lack of his emotions was because nothing happened (like kisses). I'm thinking about not contacting him for a while, and if he does maybe send a couple of texts and perhaps even meet up for a coffe or so. And then perhaps do a little romantic gesture because he told me before all of this he reeeeeeally want romance in his life when he meets a girl. And we never had that since we never really dated. Also as an alternative I'm thinking about ignore the fact to do NC which everybody seem to think is the right thing to do and instead just tell him... I like him, I wanna be with him. Say that if friendship at first can make us find a way back/to something new I want to really try to be friends. What do you think? I'm so concerned. Trying not to act or be desperate but in the mean time to the things I think he likes because of his personality and the chemisty we used to have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fitgirl Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I would tell him that you are going to give him some space to decide what he wants. Then, I would go no contact until he is 100% sure of the direction he wants the friendship/relationship to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
27girl Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 I would tell him that you are going to give him some space to decide what he wants. Then, I would go no contact until he is 100% sure of the direction he wants the friendship/relationship to go. The thing is he said he wanted to think about it for a couple of days, I was a bit shocked and answered something like "Should I just go here and wait?" and then he said no. But I changed his mind i like 3 hours... The day before we were talkinga about going on a weekend to another city next month. And everything seemed fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fitgirl Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 That's all good and well, but I would do no contact until you hear the words "I am ready to take this friendship to the next level and start a relationship" or "I just want to remain friends and I'm positive about this". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoF Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Proof #534234322 that men/women can't be friends. This is NOT a friendship OP. If he has attraction, that is HIS foundation of your friendship. Also, I don't think you really started the healing process and recovered after your last relationship. YOu can't really do that when you engage into relationships with other opposite sex members. Just take some time off....heal and recover..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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