I was used...

[Dottieflanogon]

Personally I wouldn't built everything up with so much messaging before actually meeting up. This is always a bad move as it often leads to wasted time and disappointment.Consider using a site as a screening device to set up short coffee meetings to check one another out... use the initial meeting as another way of screening. Don't invest in too much messaging beforehand..that's fantasy building up.

 

 

There are allot of men on these sites or anywhere else who would tell you that they're looking for long term, when they just wanted a booty call,action speaks louder than words. Good for you for not giving in .Keep looking and you should find somebody who is not just out to get laid that night

[Loriana]

Don't feel too bad, OP...as we speak, there are millions of guys working on new and improved ways to seduce women. There's an entire cottage industry devoted to it. It isn't reasonable to expect a young, inexperienced woman to be able to filter all of those guys (well, all of us guys) out.

 

Thanks Blue Spiral your comment cheered me up

 

just felt I was being judged a little and I was like hey guys I'm still learning lol.

[Loriana]

Personally I wouldn't built everything up with so much messaging before actually meeting up. This is always a bad move as it often leads to wasted time and disappointment.Consider using a site as a screening device to set up short coffee meetings to check one another out... use the initial meeting as another way of screening. Don't invest in too much messaging beforehand..that's fantasy building up.

 

 

There are allot of men on these sites or anywhere else who would tell you that they're looking for long term, when they just wanted a booty call,action speaks louder than words. Good for you for not giving in .Keep looking and you should find somebody who is not just out to get laid that night

 

Thank you Dottieflanogon

 

It was an experience at the end of the day and I know better now so feel confident enough that I will find someone eventually that isn't after a booty call.

[Caiis101]

For future reference when talking to an online do as much of a background check as you can...google their names, see if they have any social media sites ...heck most areas nowadays have criminal records for towns/counties online. 3 days is def too soon to be meeting someone. JMO. But better to be safe than sorry...check around as much as you can on the person your going to meet.

[HeartGoesOn]

Better yet trust your intuition, as it rarely fails. Also, "looking for friends/friendship" is usually code for booty call.

[Patrick974]

Better yet trust your intuition, as it rarely fails. Also, "looking for friends/friendship" is usually code for booty call.

 

Good call. Im seeing many married women without pics looking for friendship on their profile.. Go talk to them and youve pretty much nailed the head. I dont read mens profile and much less married ones but it must be even worse. Also meeting in the car... Means 'I know some people in the area and would rather not go to a bar' or Just plain want to go intimate.

[Loriana]

For future reference when talking to an online do as much of a background check as you can...google their names, see if they have any social media sites ...heck most areas nowadays have criminal records for towns/counties online. 3 days is def too soon to be meeting someone. JMO. But better to be safe than sorry...check around as much as you can on the person your going to meet.

 

I always do a background check on anyone I speak to online. I did a background check on him and he has a Facebook and I found out we had a few mutual friends in common thats part of the reason why I agreed to meet.

 

I didnt want to meet so quickly as I felt it was too soon, but he kept asking to meet me. So yeah should have gone with my gut instinct

[Loriana]

Good call. Im seeing many married women without pics looking for friendship on their profile.. Go talk to them and youve pretty much nailed the head. I dont read mens profile and much less married ones but it must be even worse. Also meeting in the car... Means 'I know some people in the area and would rather not go to a bar' or Just plain want to go intimate.

 

Well actually at first he did suggest going for a drink one evening but I couldnt go so thats when he arranged a day to come pick me up in his car.

[Loriana]

Better yet trust your intuition, as it rarely fails. Also, "looking for friends/friendship" is usually code for booty call.

 

I wish there werent any codes for booty calls. Wish some guys could just state in their profile they are looking for fun so I could move along to the next one. But I get why some guys use codes because if they didnt women would probably not be impressed with their profile.

[pippy longstocking]

I don't think I can add much to all the wonderful advice you have been given , I agree with it all so wont go on . I more wanted to pop on your thread and reassure you you are not alone , that we all make mistakes , that so many times we don't spot the red flags until we are on the outside looking in ..so please don't beat yourself up and please dont let this experience put you off having a fabulous time dating . This was meant to happen darling as a learning experience ..try and view it like that ..every experience is worth tucking under your belt be it good or bad to look back on and learn from .

[Batya33]

I wish there werent any codes for booty calls. Wish some guys could just state in their profile they are looking for fun so I could move along to the next one. But I get why some guys use codes because if they didnt women would probably not be impressed with their profile.

 

It's fairly easy. Respond only to profiles looking for serious relationships, stop communicating if the sex/sex talk is brought up before you meet, meet in a public place preferably with no alcohol. Listen more than you speak. Ask questions about his hobby/interests/whether he travels to make things fun/lighthearted but how he answers and how enthusiastic he is about getting to know you as a person and you him will give you valuable information too.

[Loriana]

I don't think I can add much to all the wonderful advice you have been given , I agree with it all so wont go on . I more wanted to pop on your thread and reassure you you are not alone , that we all make mistakes , that so many times we don't spot the red flags until we are on the outside looking in ..so please don't beat yourself up and please dont let this experience put you off having a fabulous time dating . This was meant to happen darling as a learning experience ..try and view it like that ..every experience is worth tucking under your belt be it good or bad to look back on and learn from .

 

Hey Pippy thank you so much for your kind words. Its nice to know im not alone. I agree I do believe everything happens for a reason and maybe this experience will lead me to a better one. Thanks again.

[Batya33]

Hey Pippy thank you so much for your kind words. Its nice to know im not alone. I agree I do believe everything happens for a reason and maybe this experience will lead me to a better one. Thanks again.

 

I would change that to "every choice I make happens for a reason" - that to me is the best way to learn - the experience "won't lead you" rather, from an active perspective, you use the experience to make better choices -you are the leader, not the experience.

[Loriana]

I don't care that you were used. It was your choice.

 

Well if you don't care don't comment on my thread.

[Loriana]

I think it's funny that you were "used" when you have free will to decide who you go out with. I'm sure you like other women will take out your anger on some random man who had nothing to do with it. Women have done that to me all the time.

 

I think it's funny that you said I would take out my anger on another man when quite clearly you have come to my thread to vent your anger at me because other women have taken their anger out on you in the past.

 

Do yourself a favor and channel your anger in other ways because being angry at me and other people on this forum isn't good for your mental health.

[Loriana]

Stupid forum

 

If it''s a "stupid forum" then there is always the option to leave. Have a great day!

[pippy longstocking]

loriana darling don't feed the angry troll .....walk away or your thread will get closed

[pippy longstocking]

I would change that to "every choice I make happens for a reason" - that to me is the best way to learn - the experience "won't lead you" rather, from an active perspective, you use the experience to make better choices -you are the leader, not the experience.

 

no ....in this case it was a choice ..many many times in life the choices are not there and life happens regardless .

[Loriana]

loriana darling don't feed the angry troll .....walk away or your thread will get closed

 

Thanks it's okay I think he's got the hint now.

[Batya33]

no ....in this case it was a choice ..many many times in life the choices are not there and life happens regardless .

 

Yes, I meant in this case. Of course there are many times that life happens.

[notalady]

no ....in this case it was a choice ..many many times in life the choices are not there and life happens regardless .

 

Yes things happen in life, but you always have a choice as to how you react to these things and how you handle it. There's always a choice in everything.