help!

[singleforever]

names have been changed for the sake of privacy

Diary of a 17 year old virgin. When I was 11 years old, I distinctly recall hearing that the first girl in my class, Melissa, had made out with a boy over the past summer. The thought had never occurred to me that I would ever partake or enjoy such endeavours. But sure enough, in April of Grade 9, I went to my first “chill” at a grade 10 boy’s house with some friends. Sure enough, I was encouraged to drink alcohol, and not wanting to look like a loser in front of my cooler, older friends, I accepted. One shot in and drunk of my ass a boy named Brett started talking to me. He eventually asked me to help him grab Gatorade from his garage and I said yes and we went to go grab the drinks. Oblivious to Brett’s pursuits, and frankly scared of boys, once he turned off the lights and closed the door, I turned around and walked out. I lay down on a mattress next to some friends and Simon came and laid down next to me. He romantically typed on his blackberry in the search bar “are you prude or have you just never hooked up before?” Drunkenly I tried to respond but ended up typing some gibberish but next thing I knew, we were making out. After a while of him feeling me up and me feeling super uncomfortable, I turned over and pretended to fall asleep. He proceeded to continue feeling me up and trying to convince me that I had nice “tits” and should turn over again. After that pretty harrowing incident, I laid off boys for a while. I turned down every Tom, and Harry who asked me to hook up or “go on a walk” at a party. Eventually a year and a half later on New Years, I did hook up again. He just leaned in so I didn’t have much choice. A following of pretty random guys followed but I had no interest in a relationship in high school. I kept developing pretty strong crushes on my guy friends. Ones that ended in me being lead on or him moving to Singapore or him having sex with my good friend on grad trip. Then this past summer I met Dylan. I was not interested in him romantically at all but we became pretty close friends that summer. At our camp party a week following camp, he asked me to go on a walk and we had a very intimate hook up. He tried to get me to have sex with him saying “he knew I want to,” but I continued to say no. Obviously he didn’t text me the next day and things got pretty awkward even though we pretended to be friends. Then came frosh week and I hooked up with about 4 guys and realized that boys in university were extremely pushy to have sex. To a point where I tried to end a hookup with a guy (I had told him I didn’t want to have sex right off the bat) and him trying to convince me that virginity was something unimportant that people put on a pedestal. He then proceeded to take mine and have me take his in a parking lot a couple houses down from the kegger we were at. I was hooking up with a different guy but it was pretty boring and I wanted to return to the party we were at so I told him that I had to find my friends and he said “are you kidding my is literally out right now.” I backed up a couple of steps and saw that his “ was indeed out.” And left to go join my friends.

 

Where has chivalry gone? When did sex become the only thing that was expected? When did guys become only interested in your looks and not how cool your personality actually is? Why is it such an issue that I want to have a boyfriend and share my first sexual experience with him?

[LoveSoDeep]

Sorry, OP but as far as I can tell teenage guys have always been this way. They are just little horn-balls. There's just so much going on hormonally and if no one teaches them how to respect women then they behave poorly. You apparently chose to hang out with the ones who hadn't been taught to respect women. The thing is ...blame it on peer pressure of society or whatever you want but you CHOSE to hang out with these people. Just like the very first time a boy got you alone and you walked out....well you had every chance to walk out of every situation you described.

 

Set boundaries and then enforce them and to heck with what other people think...these are for your own good and they don;t have to please anyone else.