SuperDave71 Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I wanted to share something with you that changed my life and that has stayed with me ever since. I am just like you. I have been there and done that. I am no one special. I have no secrets to assist you with healing your heart, soul and mind but I can tell you the most important thing I ever learned when I went through one of the most difficult times. I hope this post helps you understand a deeper sense of you. I am not a professional therapist and as I have always said in the past. All the advice found within is given with a take it or leave it attitude. Let’s begin… Your heart is broken and it hurts. It hurts so badly that you might not be able to stop thinking of the person that just walked out the door. I have been there my friends and it is not an easy thing to accept. No one wants to feel abandoned or second or third best. The memories of the good time flood your thoughts. The hollowness in your chest can make it hard to breathe. Your mind becomes foggy. You just can’t seem to pull yourself together. The thought of going to work and facing your day to day routine seems almost impossible since all you want to do is stay in your bed covered in a blanket of solid darkness. The darkness hides the tears. Years ago I just wanted to feel better and the only way I thought this was possible was to get her back. I assume this feeling may be similar with any addiction. All you want is one more…that one more will fix everything. This could be further from the truth. Do not let the obsessive thoughts consume you. This was one of the most difficult things I went through. Those that have read about my past through the years knew that I couldn’t get her out of my head. In any darkness there is fear. The unknown…what is going to happen? What are they thinking? What are they doing? Are they thinking of me? They questions you ask yourself can go on and on. My mind was consumed 24/7 and I just didn’t know how to turn it off …until it happened. Through all the darkness, endless nights, tears and false hope...I woke up. I let go of fear. I was so busy beating myself up over things that I didn’t do. I was so easily convinced that she left because of something I did. This was never the truth. Once I was able to let go of fear…I began to slowly see bit by bit the person I used to be. Please understand that is was a gradual process but I started my slow road to healing. I would write down my feelings. I held onto all the good memories we had together but I didn’t want to see the negative. I began to feel better. She was still gone but I woke up by letting go of any fear. Did I still love her? I did but I began to love me more. I mattered. I was worth love. My life began a new perspective. I still hurt but I refused to let it take root any more. Once you start to let the negative feelings go you begin the healing process. I have questions all the time asking how this is done. The answer is simple…you are worthy of love and being loved. The perspective is that you are not alone. You have not been singled out. The world is not against you. You were not put on this planet to feel sorry for yourself and feel unworthy of love. If you feel that way right now…you are wrong. I am a stranger but I know that you are worthy of greatness. Sure it hurts night now. Everyone reading this post has been there in some capacity in their life but it doesn’t mean you have to stay there. You have to make a choice. You have to let go of the fear that you are bringing on yourself. You have to let go of all the negative chatter in your head. You have to stop the obsessive behavior and take back the most important gift you have ever been given…you. You need to stand up for yourself and become “awaken”. Letting go of the fear is only the beginning. Don’t let circumstances hold you back from becoming self-confident. I have used this analogy before and I will use it again. If you have brand new 100.00 dollar bill an you crumple it up and throw it in a puddle does it lose value because it doesn’t look new? No, the value is the same. My point is simple, just because you fell down and out DOESN’T mean you are not valuable. Do what you can not to let the negative thoughts stick to you. Once you let them in, they could take root and start to grow. Is this process easy? No, but it can change your life for the better. You have all the answers. You might be so convinced that you are unlovable that you can’t see the truth hidden behind the hurt. I have been there. Positive things happen in your life when you don’t let the negative in or give it power over you…no matter how big or small. Think of it this way. Who wants to be loved someone that is negative, bitter or toxic? Without the positive changes from within, you do not grow in a positive sense. Going to the gym does NOT get a lover back. It makes you look better on the outside absolutely but if you are a damaged person on the inside (for example)…you get the idea. Let go of the fear and became the greater person from within. People are naturally more attractive when they are positive. Take a long look at yourself in the mirror. If you don’t like what you see…do what you can to make the small changes you need for positive growth. You can do this. No matter who you are that is reading this post. No matter what you are going through. You will get through this. You were not put on this earth to be unloved. You are valued in such a grand capacity that though you may not know it…you are. We all have choices to make. You can stay defeated or you can start to awaken to the idea that you will get better. You will be better than you ever had been in your past. Pain is weakness leaving the body. You are someone special. When I die someday…I will have a tombstone with my name…the year I was born and the year I passed separated with a dash. That dash sums up my entire life and what I did with my short time here on this earth. I want to do what I can to make every day count. I want to “live my dash”. What do you choose? Take care, SuperDave71 Link to comment
Movingforward3 Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Thanks, Dave! Very positive! Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Truly this is a moving and inspiring post Dave, thank you for writing it. It is so true and I hope people take your words to heart. You made my day. Link to comment
Kimsmith27 Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Thank you for posting this! This has given me the courage to stay positive. Things are hard on me right now but I know I will get through this. No matter what, I will stay positive and keep it moving. I know my value and my worth and I have a beautiful son to make me smile each day. I believe things happen for a reason and I'm not sure what life is trying to teach me but I know it'll make me a better and a stronger person in the end. Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Thanks Dave, I read and re-read many of your posts when I was going through my breakup. You are one of the Founding Father's of this site as far as I am concerned. Good to see you posting! Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Aside from the positive story. Good to hear from older ENA fellas... Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Thank You Patrick -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Coachrg Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I've been reading alot of your posts and u have helped me out greatly. I see youre in Memphis. I'm only about an hour and 15 away in Oxford,ms. Not too impose but any chance I could possibly meet u in person? Link to comment
overthemoon86 Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Dave!! So great to see you posting, I absolutely love the advise you give and I know it helped me a lot last year when I was going through loss. I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to share your stories and your wisdom. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 Thank you very much overthemoon86. -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Heartsonfire12 Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Thank you so much Dave. I went through a rough breakup about 7 months ago. While I feel like I am in a much better place now than I was immediately after the breakup, I still have rough days where I beat myself up and ask what I did to deserve this. Your positive post was just what I needed today, on one of my rough days. Thanks for cheering me up and reminding me that life goes on. Link to comment
Sarah Whittle Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Bumping this for those who may not have seen it. Great post SuperDave! Link to comment
Cecilia724 Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 Thank you, Dave. I needee to read those words so badly today. It's been a very up and down week, I've been struggling so bad to remain hopeful and I really needed those kinds words you wrote. Thank you so much. Link to comment
Raindrop22 Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 Just bumpin this as well. Tonight was especially difficult for me and this helped me. Thank you so much for sharing such beautiful insight and helping people out on here even after so long. Link to comment
Frangipani Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 Haven't been here in years but glad to see my old friend SuperDave is still helping people. Hi Dave! xx Link to comment
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