We broke up yesterday but I want to get back together in the future

[ellyrie]

I broke up with someone who I dearly loved. They told me that they loved me but were no longer 'in love' with me which I guess basically means they lost their attraction to me. I was moping for about 5 hours after the event but I sort of came to a realisation that it isn't going to change anything or help anyone. Anyway I have decided that I do want to win her back but that I need to be careful about it. My plan was to try avoid all contact with her for 1-2 months and in this time just make myself happier and feel good. Probably going to buy some new clothes, start going to the gym more often, work harder too and just detox from her a bit. Then I will maybe text her after this casually not bringing up with relationship or anything more just something like... ''Just ate at 'this restaurant we used to love', I ordered a goat's cheese al forno was delicious not sure why I didn't order sooner!'' maybe also ask how her work is going or maybe not. Anyway, does this all sound like disillusion plan which won't work?

[mhowe]

It sounds like you read how to get your ex back. HOpe you didn't pay for the advice.

[sara-pezzini]

You cannot make a plan or script for how you want that to go.

She may very well move on or meet someone else in that time

There is no one way to get the ex back that will surely work otherwise there would be no one on here crying about it not working.

And i would meanwhile put that formula in a book and earn millions!

[Clinton]

There is no method, game or trick to get an ex back. Go NC to heal, not to try and win them back. And if you're making changes, do it to make you happy not to win her back otherwise the changes won't last.

 

Sounds done permanently. Move on.

[Man with Dog]

Sorry about this but she is not coming back. There may be a very small chance that she will but the more you try to get her back, the smaller that chance will be.

 

Also be VERY careful what you wish for. Most people who get back together with an ex live to regret it because whatever caused the first split will cause a second. Some go through relationships where they follow a cycle of splitting up and getting back together. That is toxic!

 

DO NOT contact her AT ALL. I know it is hard but you need to concentrate on yourself now.

[pippy longstocking]

I hate to add to the voices of doom up there ^^^ miserable bloody lot they are

 

but ...I agree with every poster , there are sadly too many help guides knocking around that claim different methods to have your exes throwing their pants at you and screaming undyling love ..

 

In your situation this lady has said she isn't in love with you anymore and that is really really hard to get back and you certainly can't mind game your way back into it , nor can you hope to change her mind . If I am not in love with someone in my own personal experience I have never fallen back in love , once its gone for me ..its gone for good .

 

The best thing you can do as said , is move forward in life with a positive outlook for a beautiful love that might be just around the corner for you .

[kbbcoop77]

If she said she's no longer in love with you .. It's game over. Don't waste another day waiting for her to "snap out of it" because in her mind that's exactly what she's already done. Get on with your life and do not contact her or look at her social media. It will get easier as time marches on.

[Dottieflanogon]

If she comes back, you'll have your answer as to her perspective. For now, accept that part of NC is acceptance, that of the reality of the current relationship dynamic. People are so unpredictable, and there's no way of knowing what your ex will want from you a month from now. sometimes NC pushes people further apart, sometimes it brings them closer. It just depends on the people and the situation. Do what you need to do, but don't expect anything from her. Go on with your life