d tu Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Went out with him and he says I'd be his first relationship and he's 43. I'm in disbelief. Could he be lying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I don't think a guy would lie about something like that. Unless he was joking. Did you ask him about it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d tu Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 I don't think a guy would lie about something like that. Unless he was joking. Did you ask him about it? I mentioned my ex and he blurted out he had no exes. Asked him if he was serious and he said he was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyCoast Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 did he explain why? i spy...trouble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d tu Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 did he explain why? i spy...trouble He mentioned he has struggled and then changed the subject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 And you left it at that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d tu Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 And you left it at that? How does one respond to that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I have a guy friend who at 52 is still a virgin. In the 25 or so years I've known him, he's never gone out with a woman. So they are out there, just not all that common. He's very nice, super intelligent, funny etc. but he's also very shy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 How many times did you see him ? Is this ongoing or have you left it at just that date ? How was the date , did he strike you as a man with no experience ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottieflanogon Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Honestly, In your age. What would come to mind some major issues, major commitment fobia, ED, sexual orientation, some secret government work.I'd probably be a little concerned. I would probably think he was either unsure of his sexuality, or he has self confidence issues. I mean to be that old and never to had a girlfriend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missed Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Honestly, In your age. What would come to mind some major issues, major commitment fobia, ED, sexual orientation, some secret government work.I'd probably be a little concerned. I would probably think he was either unsure of his sexuality, or he has self confidence issues. I mean to be that old and never to had a girlfriend? I agree with this, there would have to be some kind of underlying issue there.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 It's possible he meant that he's dated, but has never been in a relationship. Just a guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karine Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Went out with him and he says I'd be his first relationship and he's 43. I'm in disbelief. Could he be lying? I am very suspicious of this. I don't even know where to start. Is it confidence, unsure of what he would do in a serious relationship. Maybe he has a tiny weener or just that he cannot get it up, so to save him the embarrassment he rather be alone. In any event if this is something you want to pursue. Try some more prodding questions. But move slow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambert Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 To me this is a major red flag. No relationships? That is beyond shy.... It lends itself to a deep rooted issue(s). Think about 43 years.... No relationships. None. Does that mean he is incapable of intimacy on any level? Does it mean he is just such a loner he doesn't need anyone? Although technically not having any previous relationships does not make him a bad person, I tend to think it would be a lot of work to be his first at this age... I mean seriously.... I've learned so much about myself, what I need, how to communicate etc through all of my relationships even those puppy love years. I can't imagine being someone's first relationship at 40 something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wsim Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I am more curious as to how this guy would be able to frame his situation in a way that doesn't bring up as many red flags? It appears this is a lose-lose situation, the truth will scare off most if not everyone. In this case, he would have been better off lying and stating he had at least a couple of relationships at his age. It is completely understandable to ask why, none of the reasons he mentions will likely be good enough anyways. Honestly, as a 30 year old male with no relationship experience... I am of the belief that it is better to lie about this than tell the truth. At least it won't look nearly as bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sara-pezzini Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Seriously the double standard and judgement that is sometimes on here makes me sick and furious! When a man or woman comes on here as a virgin at an older age the response is it will happen, be yourself, tell him or her the truth, don't worry its not weird at all. Then when someone posts something like this it's "oh that's weird, fishy, something is off, major red flag, maybe he has a tiny weener" and comments like that! I was a virgin with zero experience till 36, now i have a 5 year relationship behind me, am i normal now and was a loser back then? I'm not different than i was back then but now I'm more acceptable in the eyes of society. That is just weird to me! If he is a virgin it probably took him a lot of courage to tell the OP in the first place. But he could also have had one night stands every night of his adult life but just not had a relationship of course. And if he truly is a virgin you don't have to worry about std's and exes crap! I rather have a virgin at my age than someone with two or three failed marriages and exes and kids and possible std's! Wish everyone would stop judging! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 sara I am on the same page as you and I hope none of the men and women who have struggled on here with dating , never ever read this . Just remember forum all the people , yes they are the minority , but they have come on , some of them in pieces becasue life is passing them by and they havent dated yet . There are a million questions need answering and only the ops date can answer those ..it would be helpful if the op had stayed around to respond !!! Please a little understanding before we completely destroy those on here who struggle with meeting a partner . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.