confused and lonely

[z3phyr71]

Hello,

 

Thanks for taking time to read this.

 

I was dating a girl for over 5 years, we have a child together, and there has been nothing trouble since i met this girl. She cheated on me 8 months after the baby was born, only found this out because she left me for two weeks in December, and the day after christimas, she wanted to come back. That is when she told me that she cheated. She was suppose to go to work, instead met a girl friend and went out and to a bar got drunk and went back to a guys house and slept with him, In her mind we were done, mind you she was living in my house, and driving my car at the time she slept with him, and we are done? She expected me to "Get over it", meanwhile, her track record was there all along, i just gave her a chance, when i should have walked away before even starting. She did the same thing to her husband Albert, except she got pregnant by the guy she cheated with, and Albert stepped up to raise the baby, their relationship failed. she dated rick, rick was doing some bad things, drugs and stuff, her mother gave her a choice rick or her son. she chose rick and her mother got custody of the boy. Rick went to prison, during the time he was in prison, She was constantly at bar getting picked up by guys and having sex. I met her at work, and i dont go to bars, so we went out a few times, and she come over to have sex, and forwhatever reason, i didnt want to see the real her. I havent dated anyone for over 4 years, so i was looking for someone, and just fell for the wrong girl. During the 5 years we have been together, she has had over 7 jobs, the last three she had she was fired for theft. At Rent a center she fake an order placing it in her sister's name with her grandmothers address, but brought it to our house. a week later she calls me and tells me they found out. When i asked who found out what? and she told me what she did. I was dumbfounded, and confused, to why she would do that, they told her to just bring it back which they did and then they fired her, Same with Giant Eagle, she got termed the first time, but since she made it in the union, she got her job back a week later they termed her again for theft, as she was taking property (order forms) off site, which is a violation of policy. She worked at McDonlad's and was fired for theft, her cash drawer was always short. She looks argues with me about my kids, she left the house (packed up) four times, each time when i was at a game playing softball. She pulled a knife on me, lied to welfare, got caught stealing at walmart twice, and kmart once. The last time we split, before this time, I started to talk to a woman from my work, was actually dating her, I was seeing my daughter i had with Christine, except she had to be there everytime, like i wasnt allowed to be with my daughter without her. she left in March, and in June she wanted to come back. I told her that i was seeing another woman during so all i heard was about her when she fought with me. fast forwarding to now, she left again, roughly a month ago, i ahve asked to see my daughter, she only allow me to is she stayed, i was asking to keep my daughter over night, i would agree cause i wanted to see my daughter, both times christine and me had sex. I told her after the last time, that its not right for her to have sex with me while calling and dating other guys, Im not a fill in till she finds what she wants. She told me, "fine its done" "No more sex, no more anything" when i asked what no more anything meant, nothing. I asked when can i see my daughter, she told me let me check my schedule. i havent heard anything back.

 

Now i am not saying that i was perfect, when i tried to talk to her, the yelling she did about everything drove me nuts. I never hit her, or attempted to, i dont believe in that. when i would try to leave to drive around, to remove myself from the fight, she would hide my car keys and then lay down and ignore my request for them. My issues stems from her cheating and not taking responsibilities for it. She told me that she decided to come back because she knew it wasnt going to work between him and her. That didnt settler well with me, i just wanted my daughter in my life. i should have just stopped there. She expected me to leave my job every time something happened at the house, like her arguing with my kids from my first marriage. They are all teenagers, early adulthood, she told me many times they should be gone and living outside of the house, because when she was 18 she was living on her own. No one is allowed to do anything around the house, Like do the dishes, laundry, and clean. She argued with me about that. My stance was that our (mine and her) is to teach the kids "Life Skills" such as dishes, laundry, and etc. she tel me that they dont need to do any of it while she is there. she would take my bank card out of my wallet and use it without my knowledge and when i go to use it, i dont have it, i had to hide my cards. At Rent-a-center, i waited for her in the parking lot when her shift ended, looking inside, and she goes to her bosses office, they turn off the lights in there, while the other employees are at the counter adjacent to them. When i asked why this occurred, she said he was showing her something on the computer, I said that was odd behavior. Bo was a country boy, she would listen to hardcore rap, all of a sudden, all she listen to was country love songs, when i asked her why the extreme flip,"I was crazy" "Insane", "Stupid", when he and her got fired for her stealing, she was back to hardcore rap and hip-pop. She was tired of my accusing, and lack of respect i showed her. THis is what she said, I really tried to make it work, the betrayal of her, and she knew that things havent been easy for me in my other relationships, and swore she would do anything to break my trust. When i told her i wasnt happy in our relationship, she refused to leave. when she felt she was done, within days everything was gone. I know i am a working progress, but i dont know who else wouldve stood by her after she stole, cheated, cant keep a job, and fights with my kids everyday. Now she a manger at dollar general in the town she lives in. now im miserable, because she got my daughter. Its been a month and seriously thinking of quitting my job and leaving...just tired of PA.

[SpottiOtti]

What have you done to arrange custody of your daughter?

 

I get that you're hurting over your ex, but honestly she is irrelevant at this point. You're a grown-ass man, don't keep getting sucked into the drama of a girl who acts like a teenager. You need to make decisions now for your daughter, and ignore whatever feelings you have for her mother. Go into logistics mode.

[Delamer1492]

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are in that situation. The relationship you had with your ex sounds completely toxic and, with a kid involved, it is that much more difficult. I hope it gets better for you and that you can make a clean break and start again.