oman0115 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 My ex and I finished at the start of June and sadly / embarrassingly I begged for another chance. I got friend zoned and lingered there for over two months! We've had back and forth gut wrenching conversations on how it went wrong about 4 times. I suggested each time we should go our separate ways but she insisted on being friends. She told me there was no one else and like a mug I believed it. Found out that she's been seeing someone for 5 weeks, married no less. I initiated no contact then she messaged me 7 days in saying she's depressed, cares, wants to be friends but thinks we both need space before talking. In my mind I was giving us space and not sure I want to be friends tbh. Has anyone got any experience of this type of behaviour and is she still playing me? It feels like I've been placed in the background as her new relationship is complicated to say the least! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldasensei Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Stay away from the drama. Keep doing NC and block her from everywhere, say farewell if you have to but make it your last time and stick to it. It's crucial for your emotional healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kathy679 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 You made your choice to stay around her in the friend zone. She is not entirely to blame. You need to now go no contact with her so that you can move on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyCoast Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 what's in it for you? nothing, it's not even a friendship since it results in excruicating arguments about the breakup (and really, that can be kept up forever, can't it?) and her whining to you about her married boyfriend. i'd tell her to whine about her married bf to her married bf (or better, perhaps his wife?) and that if it bothers her that much then perhaps it'd help more to stop being a s!ut than to dump it on you. i do think it's a manipulation of sorts, and one that takes quite the nerve. block this mess. you're right not wanting a friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 I agree with Rainy Coast who as usual gives excellent advice. Block, delete, this woman is NOT your friend. She used you as an emotional tampon to get over the relationship and keep you around as backup for those times she needs an ego boost. You know, like when her conscience wakes her up at 3:00 a.m. to tell her maybe she shouldn't have dumped a good guy for a married one out of simple lust and idiocy. Take this as a wakeup call that the breakup was for the best, she has some serious character flaws going if she thinks entering into an affair with a married anything is going to bring her happiness. And to answer your questions, yes it was manipulative, but given what you know now why should that surprise you. Send her one text saying you aren't going to ever be friends then block and delete her on all fronts. If she continues to press the point tell her you aren't friends with cheaters then go back to NC again. She'll get the point. Sorry this happened to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyCoast Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 *guffaw* paris, thanks anyway OP, i think we're unanimous. if you formerly hoped for eventually resuming a relationship with her, hopefully this discovery of her complete lack of moral compass has put you off for good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oman0115 Posted September 8, 2015 Author Share Posted September 8, 2015 It sure has. I'm slowly moving into the anger stage. Advice appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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