Calix Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Hey guys. So, I have been planning with this "friend" of mine to go to a concert with me. We have been planning this since May(2015). I'm in this age range 16-19 and my friend is a little older she's 24. This is one of my favorite bands and I have been looking forward to this for the past 3 months. My friend also likes this band as well. Well, I texted her today to confirm that she is still good to go(concert is on the weekend). And she said "Oh, I'm so sorry! I totally forgot! I have to get mouth surgery at the end of this week and won't be able to go with you. I hope you can find someone else to go with, please forgive me." How could you just forget something like that? So, I recently got a job and I'm not old enough for a Paypal yet so I got like a prepaid debit card at a store and I put enough money(that, I made on it) for the hotel room. I told her this, that I have already paid for the hotel for us to stay in and all she told me was "I'm so sorry!" Like, I feel very emotionally numb right now, I can't even feel sadness or angry or any of that right now. It's hard to explain unless you know what I mean. I haven't responded back to her text messages yet, but should I? I don't know what to say back. The concert isn't even in the same state as us, it's like 9 hours away and I'm not able to go by myself because I don't have a license yet all I have is a permit and I can't drive by myself. I was even going to help with gas money as well as money for food. So far, I have been asking some other people I know if they'd be able to go on this little trip with me. One said she can't because of school and another said she'd let me know but I do feel bummed/let down and really wanna go. What would you do? I mean, this is my favorite band we're talking about, I don't want these tickets to go to waste Really wanna see them. I don't know how serious her mouth surgery is because she has canceled on me before and said she won't do it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Did you tell her you were paying for the accommodation before you did it? Depending on your age being closer to 19 than 16, I would suggest trying to find alternative transport (train, coach) and going anyway. I actually had people do this to me so much when I was younger (yes, I'll go! buy the tix and I'll pay you back when I get paid!...) that I actually just stopped arranging to go to gigs with people. I buy my ticket and go alone. And if someone else wants to buy their ticket and come with me, they can sort it out. Life is too short to miss out on things because other people let you down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calix Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 Did you tell her you were paying for the accommodation before you did it? Depending on your age being closer to 19 than 16, I would suggest trying to find alternative transport (train, coach) and going anyway. I actually had people do this to me so much when I was younger (yes, I'll go! buy the tix and I'll pay you back when I get paid!...) that I actually just stopped arranging to go to gigs with people. I buy my ticket and go alone. And if someone else wants to buy their ticket and come with me, they can sort it out. Life is too short to miss out on things because other people let you down. Yes I told her that I was going to be paying for it before I even did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 That's very cold of her to do that to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 The only thing I can say in her defence is maybe she's really upset and stressing about this surgery and nothing else has been on her mind. Find someone else to go with you, take the bus or a train if you have to. I think what she did is pretty lousy if she's just blowing you off rather than being preoccupied about the surgery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calix Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 That's very cold of her to do that to you. Yeah like I don't even know how serious this surgery is... She said something like this to me before as well when I had planned to have her over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calix Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 The only thing I can say in her defence is maybe she's really upset and stressing about this surgery and nothing else has been on her mind. Find someone else to go with you, take the bus or a train if you have to. I think what she did is pretty lousy if she's just blowing you off rather than being preoccupied about the surgery. I just don't know how serious she is about her surgery, because when I have asked her to hang out in the past, she has said it sounds good but on the day of she used an excuse like that before. I have thought about taking a bus/train but I don't know if they'd need to see a passport or an I.D because all I have right now is a permit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 I am so sorry she did this to you. I agree with the poster who wrote to just buy your own ticket and don't depend on others to go with you/provide transportation. Can't stand flakiness! I would definitely go by train and I think it's ok even though you are a minor. Just check. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sargon Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 She doesn't sound that interested in spending time with you if she can't even remember something so important. You need to find someone closer to your own age. These age gap relationships rarely work out anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Is the gig in another country? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikesmith1 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 She is not that into you move along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouCanDeleteThisAccount Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Ok, here's the thing. What she has done is a bit rude, but ultimately, it's an excuse, not a reason. There's very little, if anything at all you can do to rectify this. Ultimately, she's done and not interested in going at all. If you have to minimize your losses, the hotel room can be cancelled. But since it's your favorite band, the only thing you can do now is decide for yourself, is going alone ok with you and are you still going to enjoy the concert? If being alone is going to be a great concert where you are completely down the entire time, then take the financial loss. If you can still go, and have a kick a** time, then do it; and see if anyone else is interested. But at this point, you're unlikely to find many people willing to run off to a hotel and a concert, on a whim with you. Maybe you will, but it's not looking good, so weigh your options. As for her, just don't contact her anymore. At all. If she contacts you, keep it polite, simple, and keep it short. You really want nothing to do with her any more. Begging, explianing, rationalizing, and negotiation is going to do nothing. The best it would do is get her to change her mind out of guilt, and that would be an experience of being with the person you want to be with, at a concert you are anxious to see, while she is completely miserable the entire time. I know this is a very difficult emotional time for you. Everyone here has felt what you are feeling now, and the pain is real. However, the worst thing you can do is continue to try and include her in these plans. She doesn't want to go, and you're in for a world of heart ache if you take her. Hang in there. This isn't easy for you; and unfortunately this is a "life lesson". It's nothing you really want to hear right now, but mark my words that you will understand this better as time goes on, and you will be extremely happy you did not end up going with someone who didn't want to go. You are both young, so this may not mean the complete end for you both, but it does for now, and you need move on. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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