shoebaby1 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 I am a very worrisome person. I have a lot of negative thoughts and worries all day long. At work my co workers complain a lot and are very negative and they say bad things and I have picked up this habit but I want to STOP. I want to be more happy at work, stop complaining and enjoy my day. Sometimes I feel obligated to join in because I have joined in for so long with the negative talk that someone will say something negative about work or something and they will be talking to me and I just say something negative back. Can anyone give me advice? I really want to improve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Think before you open your mouth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Every night before bed you have to think of at least three positive things that happened that day, big or small. If your co-worker is saying something negative change the subject "I just listened to this great podcast" or "looks like it's going to be sunny on Saturday!" Have a rule that you are not allowed to say anything negative unless it is about yourself and it is unavoidable -either an emergency or essential to get your work done "sorry I can't right now, I'm not feeling well" or "the traffic was so bad today, that's why I was late for our meeting, sorry". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Never say one, single, negative word about a company or workplace as long as you are employed there. Once you no longer work there, damn them to your heart's content. If there is something serious going on, go privately to HR. Otherwise, zip it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Never say one, single, negative word about a company or workplace as long as you are employed there. Once you no longer work there, damn them to your heart's content. If there is something serious going on, go privately to HR. Otherwise, zip it. I wouldn't even say it as an ex-employee. The world is too small. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoebaby1 Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 I think I may have expressed myself wrong. Its not really something negative about the company, Its complaining about how busy it is or how you can't keep up with work our how you will never be able to get your work done BLAH BLAH BLAH. Its just a negative environment where everyone seems so bogged down and depressed about it being busy. I would like to be able to turn it around for myself so that I can have a good positive productive day. Something a little more than just "watching what I say before I open my mouth". Of course I know how to do that, its more emotional than anything. Thanks guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 I think I may have expressed myself wrong. Its not really something negative about the company, Its complaining about how busy it is or how you can't keep up with work our how you will never be able to get your work done BLAH BLAH BLAH. Its just a negative environment where everyone seems so bogged down and depressed about it being busy. I would like to be able to turn it around for myself so that I can have a good positive productive day. Something a little more than just "watching what I say before I open my mouth". Of course I know how to do that, its more emotional than anything. Thanks guys Yes but that gives a negative impression of the company/your boss and adds to a negative environment which is bad for productivity. It is that simple -think before you speak -and if you practice that the internal, deeper, emotional stuff can be tackled that much more easily -fake it till you make it. Also get enough sleep, do enough exercise and eat well - not "deep" but works wonders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoebaby1 Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 ok thanks. I appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willywagtail Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 A good way to turn the 'I'm so busy, I'm overwhelmed' mantra around is to tell yourself that you've got a job. You're be bored if you' weren't busy and it makes the day pass quickly. When the negative thoughts come into your mind, say that to yourself, because it's true. Your busy job also enables you to do the things you want to do outside work. So when you feel that way, think about what you'll be doing in the evening, or at the weekend. Divert those thought to something pleasant. Look at your busyness and see if you can structure it differently so that it doesn't feel like too much. Do the difficult things at the start of the day, and then the easier things towards the end of the day so you can go home lighter, without that heavy feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoebaby1 Posted September 8, 2015 Author Share Posted September 8, 2015 A good way to turn the 'I'm so busy, I'm overwhelmed' mantra around is to tell yourself that you've got a job. You're be bored if you' weren't busy and it makes the day pass quickly. When the negative thoughts come into your mind, say that to yourself, because it's true. Your busy job also enables you to do the things you want to do outside work. So when you feel that way, think about what you'll be doing in the evening, or at the weekend. Divert those thought to something pleasant. Look at your busyness and see if you can structure it differently so that it doesn't feel like too much. Do the difficult things at the start of the day, and then the easier things towards the end of the day so you can go home lighter, without that heavy feeling. thank you, I will try this..I also wanted to know how to not get sucked into the negativity. Our office is so small and everyone walks around sighing and huffing and puffing and complaining and its really easy to have it rub off on you but I don't want it anymore. That what I really struggle with. Its so contagious it seems. I could be feeling good and working and then someone will come complaining and it really gets to me. I don't know why I'm so easily influenced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 thank you, I will try this..I also wanted to know how to not get sucked into the negativity. Our office is so small and everyone walks around sighing and huffing and puffing and complaining and its really easy to have it rub off on you but I don't want it anymore. That what I really struggle with. Its so contagious it seems. I could be feeling good and working and then someone will come complaining and it really gets to me. I don't know why I'm so easily influenced. You might be easily influenced because you want to be liked/accepted. And sometimes we misinterpret things - doing a good job should equal keeping our job, but sometimes we think fitting in with the group does that instead. Then change the subject. Is there a show you all watch to talk about? Or just zip your lip. Everytime you are going to say something negative, snap a rubber band on your wrist. Or take a breath before you say something. Practice new responses. them am overworked and overtired" old you: "Me too, this job stinks" new you: "I was finally able to get a good night's sleep last night really helped me. I felt overtired yesterday, but feel a lot better now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoebaby1 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 thanks you guys. I'm doing okay this past couple of days. I find myself slipping but I pick myself back up. I know I can do this. Its better to be positive. And abitbroken you're right. I do want to be liked/accepted. Its true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I think being neutral is fine too. Also ask yourself what is triggering the temptation to be negative - the more you know about your triggers the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoebaby1 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 You know what else? When someone is complaining to me or telling me a drama filled story I feel kinda bad not really saying anything but positive things. I feel like I'm being rude. IDK Why, I feel like I should be agreeing with them or something. Omg I'm really messed up aren't I. Ugh. I guess I just don't want them to feel dumb coming to me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 You know what else? When someone is complaining to me or telling me a drama filled story I feel kinda bad not really saying anything but positive things. I feel like I'm being rude. IDK Why, I feel like I should be agreeing with them or something. Omg I'm really messed up aren't I. Ugh. I guess I just don't want them to feel dumb coming to me? If someone comes to you to vent just say "I'm really sorry you feel that way -that sounds stressful. What can I do to help?" That way you screen out the people who just want to gossip/complain from the people who are trying to reach a productive or positive solution. You don't need to be the person people come to to vent because you might give the impression to others that you feel the same way. It is good to be the person people come to for solutions/strategies. I did have work friends who came to me to vent but it was a select few and not a constant thing. When I work again in an office setting I will not vent to anyone - I did, at times, and it's not a good idea I found. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoebaby1 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Yeah I'm a very quiet person and I noticed that actually attracts people. It seems like it would be the opposite..that if someone is quiet and mostly to themselves that people would leave them alone but I find that it is sorta the opposite. People try to engage you more and then will start talking and talking and they don't really know when to stop or shut up. Sometimes its really annoying. I can try to be nice and ask someone at work how they are doing and then I get stuck in a half hours conversation about how their husband is cheating on them. Its so strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 No need to get stuck at an office -wait for the person to take a breath and then say "I understand you're going through a hard time and I really have to get back to work -I'm sure you understand!" Or say you need to go use the restroom and maybe you can talk later. Etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 "I would love to chat but I need to get this report out. I only have 20 more minutes to finish" is a good way to end conversations too - by actually doing work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoebaby1 Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 what would you all do in this situation. I have been focusing more on work and being more quiet and now a girl is emailing me on our company email that she got a new part time job after work at a Halloween shop and she is saying "YIPEE" I guess because I'm so quiet she is resorting to emailing me. It seems kinda unprofessional doesn't it? I didn't reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 what would you all do in this situation. I have been focusing more on work and being more quiet and now a girl is emailing me on our company email that she got a new part time job after work at a Halloween shop and she is saying "YIPEE" I guess because I'm so quiet she is resorting to emailing me. It seems kinda unprofessional doesn't it? I didn't reply. You're doing exactly the right thing by not replying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoebaby1 Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 You're doing exactly the right thing by not replying. perfect ,thanks see I felt guilty for not replying lol but I guess I just gotta let the guilt pass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 perfect ,thanks see I felt guilty for not replying lol but I guess I just gotta let the guilt pass! It's her problem that she emailed you something inappropriate on company e-mail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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