NotInsane Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I'll come right out with it. I catfished (impersonating someone else) an escort on Grindr (a gay sex/dating site) and got caught. The details: I see this profile for a really "dominant" guy, obviously an escort by his mention of "generous" (code for someone who pays for sex), dollar signs, and money bags. I am extremely horny, and this is honestly a fetish of mine. I have very submissive desires. The thought of some really mean/rough/dom guy ****ing me and taking my money is a huge fantasy - but just that, a fantasy. I said hello even though I knew I would never, ever go through with it. Right off the bat he's being an ***hole, as is the persona he's created for his escort services. He goes back and forth, saying he'll **** me, saying he won't, saying he wants to see pictures, saying he doesn't care. I offered up a few nudes of me (they really were mine). He starts to think I might be "real", so he gets into it now, and of course I'm jerking off and hornier than I've ever been so my inhibitions are pretty much at a zero. I really need to explain this. I have a problem. being horny is like being on drugs. I will do or say things I otherwise wouldn't. I don't know how to hit the brakes in it. I basically strap in for the ride and hope I cum before I do too much damage. So the escort starts to pester me for a face picture. I don't want to, obviously. There are legal implications. I'm pretty paranoid, and he's kind of dodgy. That's when I decide it's a great idea to open up my message history and send some picture of a random guy. I could've chosen someone out of the country, but I chose this picture for some reason. My best guess is that he actually looked similar to me. Why would I do this? I really don't know. My mind was telling me to stop this right now, but my "other head" was telling me to keep going. So I think, hey, here's someone I talked to four years ago, that can't hurt, right? Now at this point you have every right to judge me. I've never used someone else's photo. I think it's ****ed up. It IS ****ed up. I REALLY ****ED UP. I hovered my thumb over the send button, still jerking off, and after a few seconds of contemplating I hit send. Now at this point he's telling me he'll be able to meet in a few hours and not right now and yada yada and I think, great, no harm done, he's probably not serious if he's postponed this so many times. But five minutes later, I realize I've ****ed up even worse than I thought. He says his friend knows the guy in the picture and he's a "serial flake" (he previously told me he was strictly gay for pay, is his friend gay for pay, too? was that a lie?), and he says "my friend has his number I'm gonna call you." He also says "is your name A (we'll refer to the guy whose photo I sent as A)?" As far as I remember, this guy's name isn't A, but I'm still scared. What if that really is his number? What if they actually get into contact with A and send him my nudes and ask if it's him and A can recognize me from the nudes even though there was no face (I'd talked to A quite a bit -lots of nudes, no action - he really was a serial flake)? A was actually on another site where we talked, and as far as I know that site doesn't delete chat logs even if you've blocked or deleted your account, unlike this one. Granted it's been a long time, but if A never got rid of his account or chat logs, he'd have access to them. I can remember people I've talked to four years ago, so I assume so can A. We talked for a few months on and off. At this point, millions of thoughts are going through my mind as I delete everything and uninstall Grindr. It might have been four years ago, but this guy probably has my phone number if not my address. The escort was presenting himself as a "thug", and he definitely looked and acted the part. He could frankly be in a gang for all I know (yeah, I live in one of those cities). I am beyond paranoid. Scared-to-step-out-of-my-house-tomorrow paranoid. Now I'm just picturing the police knocking down my door (impersonation is a crime, right?) or this guy finding out who I am (let's be real, plenty of guys on the site had both my nudes and my face picture) and coming after me. Or just reporting me through the site's own support/help service, if he can avoid getting caught for being an escort? I don't even know what the implications of it are. What I do know is I am never using anyone else's picture, face or otherwise, for as long as I live. Best case scenario, he got the wrong guy and/or just lets it go and chalks it up to a flake being a flake. Worse case scenario, well, see above. I don't know if typing this all out was a good idea, but I'm extremely scared, anxious, and paranoid. Probably going to be no sleep and on edge for the next week. Feel free to throw some judgement my way, or pity - if for some reason you want to try to make me feel better. I'll be honest, I'm just far too paranoid right now and couldn't sit here letting these thoughts run rampant in my own mind. It's the worse feeling in the world. I don't expect you guys to be supportive, maybe understanding at best, but I've never felt this on edge before. I'm going to call and see a therapist tomorrow I haven't been to in years just so I can get this off my chest. My biggest fear is this guy and his friend actually do have a hold of A and are going to threaten/harass me. I'm obviously liable for anything that happens as a result. I really, really needed to talk to someone about this until I could go talk to my therapist. I really hope I am overreacting and making an even bigger fool out of myself and this is all going to blow over, and that I've sincerely learned my lesson. 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pippy longstocking Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 oh dear ...I dont think this is going to cause as much trouble as you actually think it is .. these sites are on the dark side as it is and stuff like this goes on all the time .. If the guy whose pic you used does get to know of it , then you have to apologise, explain, yadada ...what else can you do . You need to give this crap a wide berth and get your head together me thinks . oh and thankyou for the visual image I now can't get out of my head of you jerking off while pretending to be someone else ...I will be coming to therapy with you at this rate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotInsane Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 oh dear ...I dont think this is going to cause as much trouble as you actually think it is .. these sites are on the dark side as it is and stuff like this goes on all the time .. If the guy whoe pic you used does get to know of it , then you have to apologise, explain, yadada ...what else can you do . You need to give this crap a wide berth and get your head together me thinks . oh and thankyou for the visual image I now can't get out of my head of you jerking off while pretending to be someone else ...I will be coming to therapy with you at this rate I really appreciate the humorous response. It helped me forget what I was worried about, even if for a moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I really appreciate the humorous response. It helped me forget what I was worried about, even if for a moment. ahhh haha well I meant the first bit as well ... I think it has just blown up a bit in your head . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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