Trying to work out if this is a problem with me or not

[arandomperson]

I met him at a festival, he was friends with some of my friends and was invited back to the camp. we got talking and drank a fair bit, I drank too much and we ended up going back to my tent. The next morning I was surprised that he stuck around, we hung out when we had free time at the festival and at the end of the event, I said I would like to see him again before the next event.

 

I gave him my number and I left, he said he would need to think about it as he had just come out of an 18 month relationship and there was the distance to consider. The next day I got a text essentially saying yes.

I was surprised he didn't take very long to consider dating long distance but hey he seemed careful enough. We texted a bit and that increased he also wanted to phone so we did. This too increased. He would message while he was at work, close friended me on facebook commented on all my posts (which considering this was about 2 weeks after we had even met seemed a bit excessive) I told him I am not really one for constant communication he said he understood but continued anyway (that was about three weeks in) about a month in he invited me round to his, well correction I went round to his he had invited me round about two weeks in) it was a nice weekend, doing normal date things except that it mean I had to meet his mother yes less then one month after we had met. When I got home from the weekend, he was back to texting me and wanted to phone me that evening, I couldn't do but he wanted to phone every evening that week, I told him again to back down and he did a little, it was about this time he started saying some stuff like if i was too move closer to your place, when I meet your family etc. I told him that we were only dating, yes exclusive (manly because i hadn't been dating anyone else) but just dating. This hasn't been brought up again but he started also saying he can't get enough of me and he is falling quite hard for me.

He is also very jealous, I have a lot of male friends who I respect and I am very close with, he hasn't said anything particularly negative about this but he has made it clear with out saying so that he doesn't really like this, he doesn't seem to like that I go to my female friends for emotional support too.

 

So why am I making a big deal about it?

I am not experienced with relationships, in fact this is my second, my first lasted a single month and was starting to get abusive. I am over my ex but still a little shaken up by it so i was very careful and cautious when I started this one.

I have some mental health problems including anxiety and depression, the latter has been pretty bad as a reaction to this.

This is why I'm here, I don't know if I am over reacting or not.

 

My best friend has invited me to go to a gig next weekend which happens to be in his part of the world so he will see me there, then the weekend after for another event, he wants me to stay for a few days after this too.

 

I'm feeling confused and very depressed about this whole thing.

 

* should also add that when we are on the phone or skype he is always doing things like playing games online etc, I don't mind it for a little bit but this is every single time.

[Willywagtail]

Too much too soon. Your guts are telling you how you feel. Listen to them.

 

He's just out of a relationship and probably is needy. He hasn't done the processing required to make him a healthy choice. The stuff about him not liking male friends in your life or you talking personal stuff with you female friends is a massive red flag. Controlling, much?

 

Plus you've got your own issues and the worry about this relationship is exacerbating them. I'd tone it down completely with him. Tell him you're feeling anxious, that you're not ready for a relationship and that you wish him well.

 

It shouldn't come as a surprise given that you've already asked him to apply the brakes a couple of times.

[CookiePepperco]

The following definition of a rebound relationshipsis exactly what you are unfortunately experiencing... [ believed to be short-lived due to one partner's emotional instability and desire to distract themselves from a painful break up, and those emerging from seriousrelationshipsare often advised to avoid serious dating until their tumultuous emotions have calmed.]

 

He is using you to forget his pain