Missn1990 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 It might be worth reading my last thread so you get the jist of the story (I think he was cheating.) I had what you could call a bitter break with my ex, it's been 2 months since we've broken up and he's moving in with his new partner already. I can't help but feel jealous about the situation as we were planning on move in together at the end of the year. Yes I'm doing NC but I'm feeling very down about it, it's got to the point where I don't want to wake up in the morning, loss of appetite and I now hate going out as everything reminds me of him. I feel angry and hurt all the time as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clinton Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 It might be worth reading my last thread so you get the jist of the story (I think he was cheating.) I had what you could call a bitter break with my ex, it's been 2 months since we've broken up and he's moving in with his new partner already. I can't help but feel jealous about the situation as we were planning on move in together at the end of the year. Yes I'm doing NC but I'm feeling very down about it, it's got to the point where I don't want to wake up in the morning, loss of appetite and I now hate going out as everything reminds me of him. I feel angry and hurt all the time as well. All this is pretty normal. We all go through depression after our relationship ends. I have pictures of myself a few months after my divorce where I look like a human skeleton because I'd lost so much weight. But you'll rebound from this and move on. It just takes time. Best thing to do is stop following his life and just concentrate on you. As I said time is your friend. It just may take more of it than you'd want. Hang in, you'll be ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoF Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 There is something wrong with you and you need to identify and fix it, FAST. a) if your ex went off and found a new girl friend, this means he was not smart enough to take time to heal after your relationship and is getting himself into rebound type of situation. This shoudl only validate that he was not a good/smart person to be a partner with. b) moving in after short time together? BRILLIANT. Brag some popcorn, kick up your feet and watch the drama unfold. He completely set himself up for failure or unhealthy relationship. c) Include healthy diet and LOTS of physical activity into your daily routine. This will do wonders for your happiness levels, state of mind, mental and emotional health (in time). d) Practice mind diversion. Why int he world are you thinking about him? Why are you looking into what he is doing etc. Whenever thoughts of him come up, deflect them/divert them to something peaceful you enjoy. Play some music. Learn to take your mind off of it and in time, those thoughts will disappear. Right now you are doing the opposite and only dragging yourself down. e) TIME IS YOUR FRIEND. In time you will heal, you will feel better and find a person you deserve. Be positive and optimistic about this. f) become the best person you can possibly be.....and once you are ready, you will attract similar person. One day you will look back at your posts and this entire situation and laugh at yourself. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missn1990 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 Brilliant advice! In regards to point (A) I thought I was just being bitter about him picking up a rebound ect...but hearing it from someone else makes me feel a little better about it all. Just waiting for that lovely day when I can look back and laugh like you said Thanks once again for your detailed advice x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missn1990 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 All this is pretty normal. We all go through depression after our relationship ends. I have pictures of myself a few months after my divorce where I look like a human skeleton because I'd lost so much weight. But you'll rebound from this and move on. It just takes time. Best thing to do is stop following his life and just concentrate on you. As I said time is your friend. It just may take more of it than you'd want. Hang in, you'll be ok. Well at least I know that I'm not the only one that has felt like this. Thanks for replying x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 She is not better than you, she is better for him. You will be better for some wonderful man than his previous girlfriends. That's just how it works. You are fine, he is fine. You were just not fine together. Will he be fine with her? I won't say no, I've had waaaay to many successful relationships that started as rebounds, but I have my doubts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baily Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I disagree with getting some popcorn and watching the fireworks. Be better than that! Reality is who cares what he is doing...he's not with you anymore...and won't ever be. It's time to start a new chapter in your life. You have an open blank page in front of you...what story are you going to make of it. Yes, exercise and eat well....find things you enjoy and do them. Re connect with friends and find enjoyment in life. Don't spend 2 seconds thinking of what was. On a final note: be a good person and wish him the best....what does it matter if he's happy? Even if he fails completely his misery should not bring you joy...and if it ever would you are the shallow person, not him. It's time to be the better you....move on and forget what was, instead focus on what will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missn1990 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 Yep I've wished him all the best in life and that was my last words to him, it hurt saying it but I thought it's the best thing to do. It's getting a little easier but I still have those odd times of the day where I start to feel down. It just really annoys me that he wanted to stay friends. Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm sure he can't have his cake and eat it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottieflanogon Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Its always hard to see someone who once meant everything to us move on with someone else. Especially when you expected to spend the rest of your life with them! It's hard because you could never imagine seeing them with somebody else and then when you do its not easy! But you need to accept that the relationship ended for a reason.Your ego is bruised in the short-term. Trust me, you'll get over this and not all is going to be well in your boyfriend's fantasy land once reality kicks in of his situation. You need to stop focusing on them and start focusing on you. Or else you'll be stuckin this rut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 All this is pretty normal. We all go through depression after our relationship ends. I have pictures of myself a few months after my divorce where I look like a human skeleton because I'd lost so much weight. But you'll rebound from this and move on. It just takes time. Best thing to do is stop following his life and just concentrate on you. As I said time is your friend. It just may take more of it than you'd want. Hang in, you'll be ok. Great advice! Another thing that helped me, was staying extremely busy. I took classes (yoga and salsa), volunteered, joined group that were of interest, basically I tried everything that seemed fun. Not only did I find new passions, but also made great friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Yep I've wished him all the best in life and that was my last words to him, it hurt saying it but I thought it's the best thing to do. It's getting a little easier but I still have those odd times of the day where I start to feel down. It just really annoys me that he wanted to stay friends. Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm sure he can't have his cake and eat it too. If he was cheating, he wasn't your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missn1990 Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 If he was cheating, he wasn't your friend. Hmm yoga sounds like a good idea, I'll definitely look into it. Thanks for that x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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