Its never fair isnt it?

[aytsam]

Hey guys,

Its been four months since breakup with my ex girl and im not healing. It hurts so much, i feel like everything is changing and im just left behind. It hurts so much, its actually physically painful.

Life has been tough for me this year, the death of a family member, a friend who was about to end his life and losing who i thought was the love of my life. Everything hurts, i feel like the world is against me and its very very hard to hold in my emotions. I don't really talk to my family members about these things because they're very strict and i don't feel comfortable talking to them because they're first generation moving to a multicultural country.

 

How come its so painful? I cant work, I have assignments due this week and all the time my friends keep telling me what my ex has been doing. Last week they told me she kissed another guy, today i was told she was at a place with that same guy where i usually go to. This hurts too much.

 

6 Weeks ago she told me she wanted to work things out with me. I thought we had something, we had an amazing lunch and had some alcohol. I thought there was a spark between us. From there onward not one text or call. All Ive been hearing is that she is with someone else now. How ccan people move on so fast? Its never fair isnt it.

 

Im struggling day by day. I cant get work done, Shes always in my head no matter what I do. I see her on the train sometimes and but i try not to look at her, but naturally, when i am on the train, i look around to check if shes there.

 

I keep telling myself that im stable, but deep down its just a lie. Im still young, no money and hard to get some help around. My friends can only do so much, they're busy too.

 

I still love this woman very much, there's so many questions that need to be answered..was it that she started having feelings with 'her friend' while she is with me.

I still want her back, even though she played with my feelings, I still see a future with her.

By default, when people ask me to imagine someone in a certain outfit, I imagine her. Ive been on NC over a month now, and i just feel so broken. WHen i go to uni people see me as a nice guy but deep inside im just miserable. Hopeless, im struggling with things right now. Im a quiet person, and have some trouble getting a womans interest when deep down i want this particular type.

 

I haven't talked to her, i unfollowed her on social network. But i still have trouble moving on. I want her back, but i cant just assume that guy is a rebound. She seemed cosy with him. I need help, i get lonely at night time. I get no interest talking to other women. I don't know what to do. Will she ever come back to me?

 

I need advice on what to do from here onwards, i just lost motivation for lots of things right now. The world, it seems heavy..

[appies]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

Do you have access to therapy at your uni? Also, maybe ask your friends to stop bringing her up. You don't need to see other women, but try and keep busy. It will get better.