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About 2 months ago my husband left me. Are marriage was a very bad marriage, We have been together since I was 16 years old he was my high school sweat heart, and my first and only. We have been married for 6 years and together 12 years. In the past several years he was diagnosed with bipolar and been on and off again with his meds.

We had a lot of very good times but some severely bad times. He was severely mentally and emotional abusive. He had hit me several times and raped me back in January.

Even after he left we have fought a lot about the custody of are 5 year old child. Now things are starting to calm down with that.

I am having days where i want him back. I know the true him when he is on his meds and his true self. I want and miss my old life before all the bad.

I cant talk to anyone else about this because they all think i am crazy to want him back. Everyone thinks I should be jumping for joy that we are over and I am free and in ways I am. But I fill like me wanting him back is not normal. I am just so confused.

Since he left I have been staying with parents. I have a house but it hurts to go back there and function and live.

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I think that you are not thinking of the well-being of your child. He has not been consistent with his meds, and is dangerous. You need to be realistic for the safety of your child and yourself.

 

Have you sought counseling to deal with the abuse? You are not being realistic!

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"He was severely mentally and emotional abusive. He had hit me several times and raped me back in January."

 

LittleOne. is this what you want from life?

 

As for the true him on meds. That is not a true anything.

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"He was severely mentally and emotional abusive. He had hit me several times and raped me back in January."

 

LittleOne. is this what you want from life?

 

As for the true him on meds. That is not a true anything.

 

Hermes is right! The true him is when he is off his meds.

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Oh, LittleOne…Here is a truth I learned after by marriage ended: The most important factor in a relationship is safety. He can't be trusted to provide a safe relationship. You don't have to be happy your marriage is ending. In fact, it's important that you mourn it's end. That doesn't mean staying in it is the right thing to do.

 

If you were to imagine a great relationship, would it include emotional and physical abuse? Rape? The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Is abuse and violence what you'd choose for your child? Love yourself enough to say "no more".

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By staying you are teaching your child that that behavior is acceptable....therefore when your child acts that way and ends up in jail they can say, "I saw my mom get hit and it was okay...so why can't I do it."

You need professional help...not being mean...but when you are even considering going back to a guy that does that the issue now is YOU. There is NO WAY in gods name you should go back....and the other problem is once people start domestic violence...it ONLY GETS WORSE...not better. Look at the stats of domestic violence deaths....it's extremely high. Think about how your child will be once you are gone and he's in jail....FOSTER CARE for life!

Use your brain and don't EVER consider going back!

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