thisisatest Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 Basically, in terms of romantic/sexual experience I'm the female equivalent of the typical "shy guy" who's still a virgin, never kissed, held hands, etc. This didn't really bother me because (up till high school) I didn't care too much about boys and (during college and a few years after that) was too depressed about other aspects of my life to care about finding a love interest. Lately though, there's this shy guy who I think is as interested in me as I am in him, although I think I liked him first and his interest grew mainly from that knowledge. I don't want to go into detail about how I know he's interested, but a few things happened and suffice it to say I know he is interested. The problem is, my shyness and inexperience may have manifested itself in mixed signals, which I suspect would discourage most shy guys from taking the next step, if they were even considering it at all. I know when it comes to shy guys a lot of people would say that the girl should make the first move herself. Bearing in mind I'm not exactly oozing with self-confidence though (number of people who've asked me out to date: 0), what are some things I could do? And realistically speaking, does a relationship even have a chance if both people involved are constantly wondering if the other is interested or not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 Stop sending mixed signals, take a deep breath, walk up to him and ask him if he would like to grab a coffee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 I agree with mhowe, you won't get anywhere if one of you doesnt make a move. Go ask him to go for coffee! If he says yes, ask about what he's interested in, find some common ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helpexpressme Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 How will this work if your both shy. There is no leader to lead any of you too along. I get the feeling you too will look at each from afar and that's about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermes Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 Shyness. Why? "If you're shy you have lots of company. Nearly one of two Americans claims to be shy. What's more, the incidence is rising, and technology may be turning ours into a culture of shyness." "In addition to documenting the pervasiveness of shyness, the article presented a surprising portrait of those with the condition. Their mild-mannered exterior conceals roiling turmoil inside. The shy disclosed that they are excessively self-conscious, constantly sizing themselves up negatively, and overwhelmingly preoccupied with what others think of them. While everyone else is meeting and greeting, they are developing plans to manage their public impression (If I stand at the far end of the room and pretend to be examining the painting on the wall, I'll look like I'm interested in art but won't have to talk to anybody). They are consumed by the misery of the social setting (I'm having a horrible time at this party because I don't know what to say and everyone seems to be staring at me). All the while their hearts are pounding, their pulses are speeding, and butterflies are swarming in their stomach--physiological symptoms of genuine distress." From: link removed Very interesting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisisatest Posted August 15, 2015 Author Share Posted August 15, 2015 I get the feeling you too will look at each from afar and that's about it. Yeah, I thought so too. Well, actually we have talked to each other, but for less than five minutes at a time and there's no rhyme or rhythm to our secret/accidental meetups. Most of the time, we do just look at each other from afar and that's about it. Well, or I'd look at him from afar and when he caught me staring I'd panic and look away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 If you're taking any courses together, maybe tell him you heard he was good at that subject and ask if he would help you study. If not, how about doing something as a group? Arrange for some of your girlfriends and guy friends, etc. to go to the beach or hiking or some other activity. Tell him a big group is doing such and such and ask if he'd like to join you all. Most people regret not taking a risk versus taking a risk, even if it failed. Something great could happen, but if it doesn't, at least you can emotionally move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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