In a way I feel like my dad abandoned me emotionally..

[brilyn027]

When I was younger, my parents divorced. They both remarried. I always got along with my step dad. My step mom..not so much. We never got along. We argued, we fought, she would call me names, and she's even shoved me in the corner and busted my lip open once. That happened when I was in 7th grade. I tried telling people I was being abused, even school. No one listened or cared. As the years went by, the physical fights had stopped but the emotional abuse and neglect didnt. My dad didn't even care. In fact, he hit me a few times when his wife went and told on me for things I've said, but she did the same thing. I got pregnant back in 2009. My family was excited for the most part. My step mom kinda creeper her way into being nice to me. She had got me a bath set for the baby and she's never been that nice before..ever. From that point on, we were somewhat nice to each other. But I know she was just trying to get along with me to be in the baby's life. I held my tongue and tried to accept it..just to keep the peace. After I had the baby, I had to move in with my grandmas and parents house because I didn't have a job yet. Still healing from having the baby. Everything went downhill from there. Since it was really my grandmas house, she let me stay there no matter what happened between me and my step mom. So my parents kinda just bit the bullet after my grandma had gotten onto my parents trying to reason with them with my situation. Last year, my dad wanted me out. Grandma still wanted me with her until she died. After she passed, I moved. My dad rushed me out saying I only have a few days to find a place. Ever since I moved out, he seems to want nothing to do with me or my kids. He said he was done helping us, although not a month ago he told me he loved us and made sure we don't starve. I call him one weekend asking if I could do laundry. He said "no, were on vacation from helping everyone". And i had no other way to do laundry. I couldn't afford the laundry mat and can't alot of times cause I'm that tight in money raising 2 boys by myself making just 9/hr. I hardly ever ask for help and when I do, its a need..not a want. But my dad and step mom are watching my step sisters kids just so she can go to a concert. Seems screwed up to me. My step moms kids had always been put before me and my brother. My brother finally got fed up and he doesn't talk to him or come around anymore. I haven't seen my dad nor talked to him in a about a month. Its like he doesn't care about HIS kids. Doesn't care to talk to or see the grandkids or nothing. I dont understand him. Hes so back and forth and he is selfish in many ways. But I figured hes my dad you know? I dont understand why he chooses his wife and her kids over us. They're never there for me. Ever. Never call, text, come over..nothing. I dont understand. Is this normal for a family to be this way toward their children and grandchildren? I'm almost fed up with it. I put up with this for years. I feel like I should just move on and forget I even have a family..on my dads side at least. If thats what you want to call them anyway. I even missed so much work just because I had to get off early to get my boys what they needed. Since I cant afford a vehicle, I have to walk. Thankfully my sitter picks up kids and drops them off but I've had issues where she couldn't watch them and I've had to miss work and I'm on the verge of losing my job. If I lose that, I lose everything else. If this was my step moms kids, she would make damn sure they weren't in the position im in. So what's the difference if it was me or her daughter? Shouldn't all kids in blended families be equal? My parents worry about her kids. But when it comes to us being in trouble, it doesn't phase them. I dont know what to do. Between being a single mom to 2 kids, working on one income, having no one to help or even talk to, its very depressing and im just getting to that point where I just feel like quitting cause its just too much. Its like no matter how hard I try, I fail anyway. I dont know what to do, think, or feel about all this.

[Seraphim]

Well, he did abandon you. That's why you feel that way ,because he did. I would be pretty reluctant to let my kids around people who had abused me. My father was an abusive parent and he's never seen my son on his own, ever. My son will be 18 in a few months and he's never been alone with his grandfather in his life. If your stepmother will abuse you it's not a far jump to abuse your children. And if your father abandoned you it's a pretty easy thing to abandon his grandchildren.

 

I would recommend to get some therapy if you can for how you feel and the abuse that you endured. This will make your life happier and your children's life happier. I am partially estranged from my own father mostly due to his own wishes. He's severely mentally ill and often completely obnoxious . I talk to him a few times a year on the phone and when in town I see him probably twice a year.

 

It is perfectly OK to not associate with a family who does not treat you well. And it will help your children learn what proper boundaries are and how to be treated properly. If they see their mother being treated poorly they will come to expect that is normal behavior. So it is perfectly OK to leave a family behind that does not treat you properly.