MsReckless Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and I never been happier with anyone else in my life. I have caught him cheating online several times and he promises me he wont ever hurt me again but recently I had a feeling that hes doing something so I made him give me his email cause he had access to all my accounts. Then I find that hes having webcam sex with "models" on MyFreeCams. Hes spending alotta money on these girls and I feel betrayed, sickened and depressed. I confront him about it and he was angry, he says its just like porn but I dont see it that way. Hes been doing this for 2 years and hes been talking to these models saying he misses them, complimenting them and actually having non sex related convos with them. I please him alot so why would he go looking for other girls? I dont know if hes showing himself to them but im really stressing out about this. He says he will stop but he said before that he wouldnt hurt me anymore. We are on a break right now but I dont think I can ever trust him again. Am I overreacting? What should I do? I love him too much to just move on and I hate starting over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appies Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 If there is no trust I don't think you can have a relationship. You wont see eye to eye on this. Perhaps its easiest to end it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baily Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 ugh...that's tough. Take a long break from him and let him feel how it feels to get none for awhile. If you want to continue with him I'd have a clear discussion and even put it in writing that there will be no webcam stuff in the future. You can't stop him from watching porn and jerking off on his own...that shouldn't be a big issue. Talking to live girls I get would be a problem, but just watching porn shouldn't be. If it is ...good luck finding any guy that doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsReckless Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 No porn doesnt bother me. Him watching live girls does bother me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mahendar Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 uffff.... too much loving hurt you so much. one must trust other in every relation which is not to be breakable.love is your's and that pain also causes you so do what ever your heart follows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMifune Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I have caught him cheating online several times and he promises me he wont ever hurt me again but.... You've never been happier than being with this guy who cheats on you on the reg? I'm quick to advise people that things can be worked through in most situations, but he's cheated on you repeatedly and you stick around and tolerate it? I mean once could be a mistake but if he was genuinely repentant it would never have happened again. At this point, staying with him is basically telling him or taking him back is like telling him that what he's doing is okay and resigning yourself to a life of feeling the way you do right now. I think you can probably do better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I think you can do better too. He can promise all he wants that he will stop, but would you believe him? I dont think so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 What the other are saying. I went through something like this with my ex, hence him now being my ex. Things did not get better, they got worse. Eventually it won't be enough for him to just content himself with live girls online, if he's not already cheating on you otherwise. And yes, he will the first opportunity he gets, because his mindset is already there that this is something he does no matter how much it hurts you. And it isn't you, it really isn't. You just have a guy who wants his instant gratification when he wants it, consequences be damned. Plus yeah, he knows you won't leave him over it after catching him at it again and not bouncing him out on his ear. So why should he change? I'm sorry, chronic cheating of any kind is pretty much the death knell of any relationship. You don't trust him, with very good reason, he can't be faithful and honest, what's left? A memory of what you thought it was and that's not reality, I'm sorry. There are plenty of men out there who will treat you right, but you have to be willing to insist on it and toss the chronic cheaters and those who are abusive by nature out the door until someone decent comes along. Not all men do this sort of behavior, not even close actually. But ignoring red flags and staying is only enabling him and his already p-poor treatment of you. Not to mention the whole putting your life and health at risk for STDs or worse. You will likely leave him, but you're probably going to look back and wish you'd done so the first time and not the 10th time you caught him cheating. It is a waste of your time and you need to break things off, heal, recover from the damage he's done, and move on to better. If you will. And like it or not starting over, changing when something or someone doesn't suit us any longer, is a part of the human condition. Stagnating water that stays the same and never moves, never changes, becomes poisonous. Likewise relationships and lives. You need to start over and you need to learn from this and find better and insist on people who treat you right. And honestly you could probably benefit from some counseling if this relationship is the happiest you've ever been. It tells me you keep picking the wrong guys to have relationships with and you keep ignoring red flags at your own peril. Not that's healthy, so yeah maybe it's time to explore why you sign up for toxicity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Im fully aware of this site and your BF is full of crap there is many places to find "friendships" 99 percent of these girls do not care about people outside of the website there job is to get naked, get tips and make money.... sooo if your bf is talking to these girls on that level, he is def a big spender... because they dont care unless money is coming in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsReckless Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 Thank you all you guys. You are all sadly right, I do gotta let him go. I realize this now that hes not gonna change, he even says hes reliefed that we are over. Ill let him go when the time is right which is soon. I only wish letting go will be easy so I can get on with my life without him, any advice on how to forget about him as soon as possible? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Thank you all you guys. You are all sadly right, I do gotta let him go. I realize this now that hes not gonna change, he even says hes reliefed that we are over. Ill let him go when the time is right which is soon. I only wish letting go will be easy so I can get on with my life without him, any advice on how to forget about him as soon as possible? No shortcuts I am afraid. The only way to the other side is through it. Look up rules for `NO CONTACT" There is a lot of discussion on this board about it. It will help you a lot. There are a lot of valuable lessons here for you. I hope you embrace them. Remember. . people make mistakes and learn from them and correct themselves. When someone does something repeatedly it's not a mistake . .its a lifestyle and a pattern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsReckless Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 No shortcuts I am afraid. The only way to the other side is through it. Look up rules for `NO CONTACT" There is a lot of discussion on this board about it. It will help you a lot. There are a lot of valuable lessons here for you. I hope you embrace them. Remember. . people make mistakes and learn from them and correct themselves. When someone does something repeatedly it's not a mistake . .its a lifestyle and a pattern. Thank you and yes I understand that its not a mistake. Wish I knew that a long time ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Thank you and yes I understand that its not a mistake. Wish I knew that a long time ago You did . .at least to some extent you did. You just weren't prepared to act on it. Next time don't lie to yourself and cut your losses sooner. Less damage . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsReckless Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 You did . .at least to some extent you did. You just weren't prepared to act on it. Next time don't lie to yourself and cut your losses sooner. Less damage . . . Youre right and youre also right about the less damage. Im a wreck right now. I dont wanna be like this anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Youre right and youre also right about the less damage. Im a wreck right now. I dont wanna be like this anymore I am sorry Hon, . . ((hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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