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It has been 18 months almost since I last saw my common law wife. I am living in a emotional hell and the pain never stops. She has kept things of mine and has done some terrible things to me yet I still miss her and want her in my life. We talked 3 times last month and then she disappeared again. We were together 7 years bought and built a home had a wonderful life except for my work as it caused me to have to travel alot. I knew it was hard on her and me too as i missed her more than anything. So i made a change in career giving up a sizable income and took a chance. Things looked bleak and she began to become distant and i fell apart. She ended our life together on nov 18 2014 by stealing the business we built which she lost soon after. And the business I built without her is about to make me a millionaire yet i really dont care about that. I am so empty and I dont want to live anymore. The pain is horrible and i do not know how i have been able to function so well. But i am afraid to wake up each day now. When we talked she was nice then mean and i dont understand why? I told her i just wanted to be friends not really true but i was happy just to hear her voice. I realize now she was just trying to trick me and it was all about money. I really dont feel i have anything to live for. Now i have to go to the hospital as i have developed cancer and had friends let her know that I wished to speak with her. But she has not even responded to anyone. Why?

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You are obviously a remarkable person. Pretty amazing that through all this turmoil you were able to build a successful business, and you don't even care about the money. You have compassion for her despite everything she's done to you. You selflessly gave up your original career for her. Someone else out there would be so lucky to have a man with these traits. This woman is not worthy of you. The right woman is probably just around the corner, waiting for you to let go of this one. Nothing leaves your life unless something better is coming. Please have faith and stay strong. I'm so sorry for your illness.

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I feel you. Its so hard when all you want to do is get over someone then you cant. They did horrible things yet you still hang on to hope, that maybe youll still have ur second chance. With regards to you having cancer, im so sorry to hear that. And her not caring, i guess thats what exes do. Mine stopped caring too. I personally am puzzled as how they could be so horrible to us. I feel hopeless to but i know itll get better.

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Thank you for your words of encouragement. I really need that right now. There is something wrong with me I know it or how could I become so bonded to this person that I feel like I have lost a part of me.? The emptiness is getting more and more and I am days from surgery and all I want to do is talk to her and let her know I can forgive. I cannot understand how someone who was so sweet and loving for so long could change like this. I feel foolish and used as well. The not calling me at this time is really devastating and stupid me I was thinking about giving our house to her so her life could be better now I guess I will give it to my brother for him to reclaim. I am going day by day Thank you all.

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You don't need to be dealing with this right now. You should be surrounded by positive, supporting people who have your best interest at heart.

 

Sometimes we long for something for unrelated reasons, typically fueled by some emotionally suppressed reason.

Therapy would be really beneficial to you at this time if you haven't already considered it.

 

I wish you the best. . And please, do not reach out to her again. Be kind to yourself.

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There is something wrong with me I know it or how could I become so bonded to this person that I feel like I have lost a part of me.?

 

Let me stop you right there.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're a caring person who got taken advantage of. You're also obviously very talented, because you've created not one but TWO successful businesses (the one she squandered and the one that's making you rich). You're a catch. You're the guy the girls wanna bring home to meet their parents.

 

Feeling heartbroken and wanting her back is not a flaw. But what might help you clear your head is to ask yourself a question:

 

Do you miss her? Is it really her you miss? Or is it the comfort, security, and complete trust you had when you were with her?

 

It's easy to let the feelings you had for someone get tied up in who they are, when in reality, it's completely separate. She's no longer the person she was when you were together, and she's made that abundantly clear. So while it makes sense to mourn the loss of that person, take care that you're not also simultaneously associating those feelings with who she is now, because that's not her anymore.

 

On the bright side, while money isn't everything (not by a long shot), it certainly makes everything a little easier. You've got drive and determination, otherwise you wouldn't be as successful as you are. Use that for your own benefit. Beat this cancer first thing, then after you recover, take advantage of the life you've built for yourself and live it to the fullest. Do all the things you ever wanted to do. I guarantee you there is someone out there so much better than what you're drowning in misery over right now. I know that's hard to hear, and we're trained to reject that notion to somehow validate the love we had, but it's absolutely true. You know you loved her, and you can live with that. But just because you loved her doesn't mean you can't love anyone else ever again. It ended, so obviously there was too much wrong for it to last. But you've learned about yourself, and learned what you're looking for, and the next time you give it a try you'll be even better off.

 

Head high, man. I know 18 months seems like a long time, but every day the past gets fuzzier and the future gets brighter. Keep your loved ones close. They've always been there for you, so lean on them, beat this illness, and come out the other side stronger, sexier, more determined than ever. She can't even be bothered to give you a phone call in your time of need. She's certainly not worth throwing everything away for.

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Thank You

You words are kind. About women I am not concerned as they find me but it will be years before I can trust and love again. If I make it through this health wise there will be another door opening this I know and I have experienced this through out life each setback meant things were about to blossom even more.. I realize there is something wrong with me as why I am so sensitive to this relationship ending because it was about trust and love. Both ideals were destroyed. I am in shock because I could never do the sort of things that was done to me and for some one I love and trusted so deeply to do this it shattered me. We could have retired and had a good happy life instead she chose to steal everything( I did leave out my accounts were drained as well )but the biggest slap was the business which she used a "quote" friend to cut me out. Then he took everything from her. Karma So I was basically left penniless at my age and scared to death plus reeling from the hurt then I find out I have cancer to deal with.

After I was able to function I began to research night and day with little sleep till I found a project I thought was viable and put it together with some old business associates and was able to launch back but that really meant nothing to me as the whole thing was to be able have our life back. Now I see the life before is gone and possibly what I built is gone for my use now not that that matters. So my family will benefit and a few families I have helped will benefit. No she is not worth it I know this and when I first went into the hospital she never bothered to check on me I am not perfect I get grumpy when I am tired and I golf to much in my free time but I was home with her traveled with her and tried to build her up every way I could. When we last spoke in may before she disappeared again When I told her how things we going she began to cry and said you are living in a paradise and I have to live here. I was shocked because I realized she wanted things to be bad for me. That is not my nature stupid me. I truly loved her and it has affected me terribly. I guess that means I have issues because I followed my heart. You are right she is not the person I loved anymore.

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