I broke up but cant help feeling anxious and sad

[hilarious]

Hello

 

Not my first breakup and this one initiated by me because of the constant fighting. Nevertheless... I am sad. One more time my dreams were destroyed by what felt to be an unhealthy relationship. I dont know what I want to achieve by writting here, maybe I just want to put it out somewhere.

 

Relationship lasted almost a year and the breakup is now 1,5 months old and no contact since then. I have the rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes im ok, but often I feel low, anxious, and start questioning the route my life is taking.

 

I dont know why I want a family but I know that I want it and be dedicated to it. I think my biggest problem is purpose. I dont want just to sleep, eat, have a good job and enjoy single life. I miss a bigger purpose like really making a difference in peoples lifes and/or raise my own kids the best way I can and maybe even adopt one. Without this, having a good job that in the end is meaninless is not enough for me. I crave a bigger purpose. I want to help people, I wish I was a doctor or something like that.

Is this normal? Are this signs of codependency. Does everyone need this life purpose? Why cant I just be happy with what I have?! Does everyone have this need for purpose or am I being codependent?

 

I also feel like I cant fall for someone right now. Im not even interested in dating. But I know this eventually will go away. Im the kind of person that needs to be alone for a while after breakup.

 

Thanks for reading

[catfeeder]

This all sounds like normal stuff to me. Most people grieve after a breakup no matter which side of it they were on, so not rushing out to date people is mature, not a problem.

 

Wanting to build a family is natural, and you can take comfort in the fact that you're not willing to settle for a bad relationship just to manipulate that goal prematurely.

 

Head high.